Some people, like a fine wine, only get better with age. We test that theory by looking at a few celebrities and then turn the tables on ourselves with a couple of high school photos!
Honestly…just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you always have to ACT like an adult. AMIRIGHT??
Today’s vlog is part of our “Tales From Our Couch” series (is it a series yet if we’ve only done it once so far?). It’s a tale of music, love, and gettin’ it on!
Continuing my new blog series of telling my stories through photographs, I simply HAD to talk about a fantastic recent trip I made to Grand Manan Island in New Brunswick. Y’see, my wife had lived there briefly when she was younger and had some really great friends who grew up there, but she hadn’t seen them in years.
We decided to meet-up with them and spend the weekend. It would be my first time visiting Grand Manan, so I knew that I had to take a TON of photos of where my shoes were taking me this time…
Sunshine and I made our way off the ferry and found her friend’s house. After hugging her best friend (who she hadn’t seen in over a decade), we all went inside to settle-in, hear some fun stories of Sunshine in her 20’s, and enjoy a feast.
When you’re on Grand Manan Island, you have the opportunity to see some spectacular sunsets. The next three photos were taken at three different locations on a gorgeous Saturday evening…
I’m trying…I really am.
The past couple of years haven’t been the easiest for my wife and me. I moved here and we got married and then things became a lot more difficult than I thought they would be. As we approach our third anniversary in August, I’m trying to stop constantly falling back after taking a couple of steps forward.
Y’see, it started out with me losing my job due to the economy back in late 2013. We were newly married and flying high, but the housing market crashed and I had to look for something as my job was directly related to housing and real estate. Then I began working WITH Sunshine at her office in a job that was supposed to be the best thing to ever happen to me.
More money…more responsibilities…more hours. Yes, Sunshine and I saw each other on a daily basis but never really got tired of one another because we didn’t working together in the office. So in that regard, it worked out great.
However, I was going through something that would end up hurting us both.
As I wrote about at the time, I was diagnosed with having Major Depressive Disorder…which began to explain a LOT of things wrong with me. I began taking medication and immediately noticed a difference. Unfortunately, the biggest side effect is how it affects one’s ability to perform intimately. This began to affect my psyche and, in turn, affect hers. Without going into a lot of detail, you can only imagine what it’s like for a newly married couple who cannot be intimate with one another nearly as much as they used to due to medical reasons.
It sucks and it’s tough on her because she can’t help but take it personally. It sucks for me because I’ve always been a very physical person in a relationship…but for the most part, certain parts of the machine aren’t working with the rest of them…so it’s really tough for each of us because then intimacy becomes something we need to plan out or even becomes WORK for us. That’s been tough to work through in our marriage.
Then Sunshine helped me get diagnosed with having Adult ADHD (primarily inattentive) about a year ago. At this point, I had been making so many mistakes at work that they were on the verge of letting me go. I wasn’t happy and was taking everything personally…not realizing that I wasn’t, in fact, a loser but simply someone who needed to have a slight chemical change in order to function “normally”.
Unfortunately, I was only three weeks into my medication for ADHD when they let me go. They were kind enough to say “it wasn’t a good fit” but I know that my mistakes and errors in judgment caused them to make the tough decision. I harbour no ill will against them, either. I realize that they had to let me go and, looking back, it WASN’T a good fit. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about, either. Sometimes the company you work for and the people you work with just aren’t a good fit for you or your skillset/personality.
Nine months I sat at home looking for the right fit. NINE MONTHS. During this time, I went through some extreme highs and lows with my motivation in life. For a few months I was running regularly and losing weight and feeling confident about my future. For a few months I sat on the couch, gained back all of the weight by eating and not exercising, and then feeling sorry for myself because I couldn’t find a good job. This cycle happened more than once, too.
And during this entire time, I wasn’t “there” for my wife. I was distant. I wasn’t connecting with her. I mean, I wasn’t mad or upset or yelling at her or anything…but I wasn’t the husband that she married. I tried, but that normally failed after a couple of weeks. This went on for nine months and I can only imagine how tough it’s been on her.
Now I’ve been working at what can only be described as “a dream job” for almost a month now. I’m getting out there at least three times a week for exercise and I’m trying to do ‘little things’ for Sunshine to help her know how much I love her. But it seems that I’m still making mistakes that make our relationship regress a little bit. And the little things I do aren’t being recognized. It’s frustrating to say the least.
I’m not really worried about us, though. I’m concerned, but not worried. We’re soul-mates…of that, I’m certain. We’ve worked too hard and come too far with our relationship to simply call it quits after three years. No…that’s not what is going to happen here, kids.
But things aren’t perfect. And in recognition of that, I’m going to do whatever I can to get us back to the ‘fun couple’ that I know we can be. I know where I’ve failed and what I need to do in order to make my incredibly awesome wife happy in her marriage again. And I plan on working my ass off in order to make that happen. I can only hope that my wife feels the same way, though lately it’s been difficult to tell.
Thankfully, we’re not talking about infidelity or abuse or other things that can shake a relationship to its core. Instead, we’re talking about reconnecting and finding those sparks that are there but have been hidden for way too long. It won’t be easy, but that’s just life.
Marriage isn’t supposed to be easy. Relationships aren’t all rainbows and unicorns. But when you know you’re in the best relationship you’ve ever had in your entire life and you never want to let that go, then you will work as hard as you have to in order to make things work. I’m just hoping that we both feel the same way and can truly do what is needed to make this work.
It was five years ago today that I had my most memorable St. Patrick’s Day ever.
After the unfortunate passing of my mother, my father took Sunshine and I (along with my little brother) on a Caribbean cruise to (a) get out of town and away from the sad memories and (b) remember her by doing something that she loved to do with my dad.
It was the first time on a cruise for Sunshine and I, so we really didn’t know what to expect. Smack dab in the middle of it all was a stop on St. Patrick’s Day in San Juan, Puerto Rico.
I have read numerous stories about the beauty of the island, but when we sailed into the harbour as the sun rose over Old San Juan…it’s safe to say that my photos and words simply do not do it justice.
We had just finished a morning workout on the ship’s gym when we were lucky enough to go up top and watch that incredible sunrise. As is usually the case with us when we’re on vacation, somebody noticed us taking selfies of ourselves (acting blissfully happy and silly, of course) and offered to take our picture. And c’mon…how is THIS for a memory that we’ll never forget??
Because it was St. Patrick’s Day, I decided to wear the loudest green shirt I could find (I picked one up two days earlier during a stop in the U.S. Virgin Islands port of St. Thomas). We went on an air-conditioned taxi tour of both New San Juan and Old San Juan that only cost us $10 per person. We were even able to stop a couple of times to get out and take a few pictures before moving on again.
At one point, we stopped at a beach that was positioned between both “new” and “old” and I was able to take one of my favourite photos of my future wife ever.
After this we made our way around the city and go to see quite a few sights. We got to see where Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony lived at the time and also where Ricky Martin lived. We were able see the two buildings that were the primary feature of the movie Assassins (I was a bit hyped about this one because it’s one of my favorite movies) before we arrived at Fort San Felipe del Morro, which is a major tourist attraction in the area. This place was absolutely beautiful and there was a very large crowd of tourists there.
Then Sunshine had an idea.
“I want to roll down the hill,” she said.
“You want to roll down the hill?”
“Want some company?”
“You want to roll down the hill with me?”
“To prove how much I love you, I’ll totally roll down the hill with you.”
We immediately handed our stuff off to dad and…
You’re only as old as you feel, I suppose. The above picture is me pointing at Sunshine because during our silly rolling, she accidentally kicked me in the head. This, of course, is me telling my dad what happened and Sunshine laughing her head off.
After recovering from our escapade, the tour ended downtown in the shopping district of Old San Juan. We ended up on a one-way cobblestone street where there were more souvenir shops than I could shake a stick at. After about 30 minutes, my father and brother made their way back to the ship so that left Sunshine and I with the opportunity to enjoy the shopping. We didn’t spend a ton of money, but instantly fell in love with the beautiful of this historic neighbourhood.
After walking around the city for a couple of hours, we started to head back to the ship. I found a beautiful fountain that I absolutely needed to take a picture of with Sunshine.
I can’t tell you how much I fell in love with her all over again on this day. And while it’s a little sad to look back and realize that we won’t be going on a vacation like this again any time soon due to circumstances beyond our control, I can’t help but look back on my favourite St. Patrick’s Day ever and smile.
It’s not every day you get to spend this day in such a spectacular locale.
Without going into gory details, the catchphrase Netflix & Chill is one that you have probably heard over the past year. Basically, it means a couple plans to stay in, watch some Netflix, and then hit the bedroom to continue the evening.
As Valentine’s Day rolls around this weekend, I am absolutely planning on some Netflix & Chill taking place (TMI?). But I did some reading lately that suggested Netflix is becoming more important to relationships than just for “chilling”. Because the economy is so strained and, let’s face it, the outside world can be a scary place…more and more couples are doing “inside date nights”. Not only that, but I read that DATING PROFILES are beginning to include more and more information on Netflix preferences because a “movie match” can sometimes be a great conversation starter.
A recent survey with “Millenial Netflix users” showed that 53% of singles with online profiles have added movies and television shows to their profile in order to attract a potential suitor. I mean, I only did the online dating thing briefly after my marriage ended and that was a nightmare. I suppose trying to be as specific as possible might be a good way to go about it. I also read that 21% of respondents to this survey admitted to adding documentaries to their online dating profile in order to seem smarter. Seriously!! I may not be the smartest cookie in the jar, but I can’t imagine lying like that on a profile. What if you’re found out later to be a liar? Nope…I’d rather be as honest as possible if I were actually searching for love. But I can definitely see how this could help.
I won’t lie…when Sunshine and I can agree on a series or movie to watch, I do find her a little more attractive. There’s just something about connecting with your significant other that brings the two of you closer together, and when you feel that way you feel more attracted to them.
Get this…according to Millenial Netflix subscribers, the most attractive genre of show and/or movie in a potential partner is the ACTION THRILLER!
I know, right?
This surprises me because you would think the Romantic Comedy would top the list. But again, from personal experience, if I’m ever in a position to watch an Action Thriller with my wife (who isn’t normally drawn to that type of movie), it’s certainly a turn on for me. There’s just something about watching one of those movies and having your spouse watching it next to you. I can’t really put my finger why, though.
And passwords? Yeah…I can totally understand how that’s a sign of “we’re officially together”. As a parent, I’ve got four different account names set up for different family members…but if my wife and I were both just dating and one of us had just signed up for Netflix, I could totally see how sharing a password would mean a “serious relationship”. I mean, it’s a sign of trust…right? It’s probably a bigger deal than changing your Facebook relationship status.
I’ll be honest…my wife and I don’t always agree on what to watch on Netflix. Hell…we’ve gotten into arguments about what to watch because I’ll watch just about anything and she’s more “selective” about what she spends her time on. So I can totally understand how 71% of couples engage in negotiations over picking shows. That’s actually kind of funny.
And yes, I can also see how over half of all couples bond over Netflix…whether it’s a classic series like Friends or a documentary series like How To Make A Murderer, when my wife and I really get into a show we find ourselves pausing the program to laugh, discuss what we’re watching, or share stories that we’re reminded of. Because it’s not live television, we can take our time and not just stare at the screen without saying a word to each other.
How do you use Netflix in your relationship? Have you used it for a #showmance with your significant other?