Confessions from a Cubicle

Confessions from a CubicleSometimes I drift off at work a bit. It’s not like I actually fall asleep or anything…I just let my mind wander. But sometimes on a break or during lunch I’ll hear or read something online that sticks with me.

What I do is just jot something down and then finish these thoughts once I’m home. I haven’t done one of these in about a year and had a few minutes of downtime yesterday, so I decided to throw some thoughts on paper.

– I gotta admit that the X-Factor absolutely has me hooked. It’s a shame that more people aren’t getting into it more because it really combines the best of all other singing competitions and wraps it up into one big package. Of course, the UK version was the original that American Idol was based off of, so it’s not like this is a rip-off of anything else. This show is unique and fun and has a TON of talent. My pick to win it all is Josh Krajcik, but I’m not so sure after seeing the awful song choices his mentor, Nicole Scherzinger, gave her team last night. Hopefully his talent will overcome the poor music choices.

– Don’t ask me why, but for some reason Ankle Biter is totally into LMFAO right now. He has spent the last three months listening to “Party Rock Anthem” almost non-stop and watching the video a few hundred thousand times (he likes the “dancing zombies”). Now it’s time for the second single, and as soon as The Ex told him the song on the radio was by the same group who did “All Day Shufflin” (what he calls the first song), he went nuts for the song. Now I can’t NOT play it every single moment he’s sitting in my car. I can’t lie and say the song is terrible, though…so at least there’s that. It’s just weird to hear my five-year-old tell me that he’s “sexy and I know it”.

– So what does a Hollywood actress do when she’s broke and washed-up before aged 30?  Well, if you’re Lindsay Lohan you pose naked for Playboy to  the tune of almost one million dollars. I’m sorry, people…I know she has addiction issues and everything, but she’s also a talentless bimbo who thumbs her nose at the world because she’s a celebrity. I’m just waiting for the day when she FINALLY comes crashing back to earth and realizes that the world owes her nothing…that she needs to be in charge of her own life and make something of herself without relying on the paparazzi.

– How is it that KISS and Rush aren’t even NOMINATED for the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame, yet this year the noms include The Cure, Eric B & Rakim, The Spinners, Donna Summer, and War.  Wait…are you trying to tell me that The Cure has been more successful and more influential in the history of rock music (or the last 30 years of music, period) than either KISS or Rush??? No offense to Cure fans, but please…it’s ridiculous. I don’t get it…I really don’t. Mind you, this year includes nominations for the Beastie Boys, Guns’n’Roses, Heart, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. So I guess all isn’t lost.

– I haven’t seen a good movie in a movie theatre in a very long time. The last movie I saw in the theatres was The Smurfs, which was cute but not great. Sunshine suggested that we go to a movie this weekend…but I don’t see anything great playing that would make me want to dish out a ton of money. Puss ‘N’ Boots, maybe…but I don’t want to have to deal with the kiddies on opening weekend. And what’s worse is that I don’t see any movies coming up that even tickle my fancy except for Sherlock Holmes 2. I didn’t even care for the summer blockbusters from this year (Green Lantern was “meh” and Transformers 3 was horrible). Is it just me?  Where have all the good movies gone?

Confessions from a Cubicle

Confessions from a CubicleSometimes I drift off at work a bit. It’s not like I actually fall asleep or anything…I just let my mind wander. But sometimes on a break or during lunch I’ll hear or read something online that sticks with me.

What I usually do is just jot something down and then finish these thoughts once I’m home. Things were a bit slow on Friday, and I had a bit of down-time last night once Sunshine went home after another awesome weekend together, so with that free time I decided to throw some random thoughts on paper.

And for whatever reason, people seem to enjoy my random take on the world…

Man vs Food.  OMG…I’m absolutely in love with this show.  And here’s the thing: I totally realize that this show is wrong in every way. I mean, this guy is shoveling food into his mouth all over the country yet I just can’t get enough of it.  It’s TOTALLY a guilty pleasure.

– At the risk of getting into an argument again with Sunshine about Lindsay Lohan, let me just say that she FINALLY did the right thing a couple of weeks ago by tweeting an admission of her guilt from failing some drug tests and then on top of it all, she finally checked herself into rehab.  All along through the months and months of nonsense, I just wanted her to take some responsibility for her actions instead of trying to act like her sh*t didn’t stink.  Well…now she’s got another date with a judge and some possible jail time. And let’s face it…it’s not like she can act or anything.  She’s NOT a talented actress by any stretch (did you see her attempt to act in a skit with Chelsea Handler at the MTV Awards last month?), so whether or not she acts again isn’t really a focus here (or at least it shouldn’t be).  It’s having her get clean and staying clean.  Maybe she can pull off a Robert Downey?

– And since we’re on the subject of Lohan, why doesn’t that crack-whore Paris Hilton ever get the same crap that Lindsay does?  She was actually busted WITH cocaine in her possession??  I just don’t get why she seems to get a free pass and can get off without receiving any jail time.  I mean, she’s obviously another one who has a problem.  Maybe my daughter was right…maybe having money really does mean you can do anything you want.

Survivor does not look that great this year.  I’ve watched the first episode and the third episode and I gotta say…this REALLY looks boring.  Old people vs young people?  Meh.  Plus, nobody really looks that intriguing…and above all else, it’s the people you put on the island that makes the show interesting.  So yeah…this year, I think I’m skipping it.

– There aren’t very many movies coming up that are looking very appealing.  There are a few, though…

X-Factor: I’ll be totally straight with you…if this show is pretty much the same once it debuts in U.S. television in fall 2011 as it is currently on the U.K. version, then I’m absolutely switching over from American Idol. There is just something different…more fun…with X-Factor than with AI. At least with the audition process (done in front of a live arena audience!).  Their “boot camp” looks like “Hollywood week”, but then the finalists are divided up into groups and sequestered with one of the judges for personal instruction and further cuts.  It’s just a very different feel than AI, which is REALLY getting stale.  Anyway…I’m doing my best to keep up with the newest season of the U.K. version via downloading.  It’s extremely entertaining.

– Should I be bothered that my daughter called me a day late to wish me a happy birthday?  I mean, she called…which she hadn’t done the previous two years (at least)…so that should be good enough, right?  It was a VERY quick conversation, though.  I just get the feeling that I’ve turned into that single dad that the child doesn’t really want to talk to or visit but does because they’re told to.  I don’t want to sound like I’m putting myself down or anything, but that’s just the view I see from my end.

– How in the world are KISS and Rush NOT in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, yet some of the class of 2011 nominees are Chic, Donovan, Dr. John,  Darlene Love, Donna Summer, and Tom Waits?  I mean, are these nominees really that much better than KISS and Rush?  Now don’t get me wrong, there are some VERY good nominees this year: Alice Cooper, Beastie Boys, Bon Jovi, J Geils Band, LL Cool J, and even Neil Diamond. But it’s just crazy to me how some people get nominated and others don’t.

Is it wrong…?

…that this whole “Lindsay Lohan goes to jail” thing makes me laugh?

Awww...Lindsay's going to jail? BOO F*CKING HOO!!

So here’s the deal: this air-head no-talent jobless bimbo has done NOTHING but party since initially being placed on probation back in 2007.  From what I can tell, she’s had all of two photography sessions that could constitute being called “work” and has had all the time in the world to attend ONE alcohol education class each week.


It was noted in court that Lohan had missed SEVEN classes in the last 27 weeks.  This would be understandable (possibly) if Lohan was a regular working actress, but with the exception of a few bit parts she’s not….at all.

Don’t believe me?

  • I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
  • 4 episodes of Ugly Betty (2008)
  • Labor Pains (2009)
  • Machete (2009)

Ummm…that’s it.


And here is Lohan’s quote to the judge today that explains her reason for not attending her COURT-ORDERED classes:

“I wasn’t expecting any special treatment aside from the understanding that I have to provide for myself, I have to work. My schedule is, unfortunately, very different. Having said that, I did do everything I was told to do and did the best I could to balance jobs and showing up.  I’m not taking this as a joke. It’s my life, it’s my career.” – Lindsay Lohan, 07-06-10

Are you f*cking kidding me??  Do you remember just a few months ago when Lohan didn’t appear for a MANDATORY COURT APPEARANCE because she was too busy partying it up over at the Cannes Film Festival?  A warrant was actually issued for her arrest because of it!!

Listen…I don’t want to sound like I’m just a hater here.  I’m just sick and tired of seeing this bimbo constantly flaunt her celebrity in the face of the legal system and think that she’s untouchable simply because she’s famous. And before you begin getting upset at me and telling me that she’s a person, too…just click here and take a look at what she had written on her middle fingernail all day long while in court.

Yes…this arrogant b*tch had the nerve to have “f*ck u” written on her fingernail.

A lot of other celebrities could learn something by the example laid down today.

Anyway…I’m just glad this judge finally dropped the hammer down on Lohan.  Hopefully this finally teaches her a lesson.  If nothing else, hopefully she’ll FINALLY admit that she has a problem and legitimately seek the help that she absolutely needs.

Hey Lindsay…Dr. Drew is probably still waiting to help you.

Confessions from a Cubicle

Confessions from a CubicleSometimes I drift off at work a bit. It’s not like I actually fall asleep or anything…I just let my mind wander. But sometimes on a break or during lunch I’ll hear or read something online that sticks with me.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had enough downtime during the day at work to actually write down some random comments, but today is the day.

What I usually do is just jot something down and then finish these thoughts once I’m home. And for whatever reason, people seem to enjoy my random take on the world…

Corey Haim
  • Corey Haim passed away yesterday.  I won’t lie…I wasn’t the biggest fan in the world of Haim.  I never really cared for his movies (other than the awesomeness that was The Lost Boys) and never watched more than one episodes of The Two Coreys.  But his story is one that is all too commonplace in Hollywood, and it’s just a shame.  I’ve got no stories to tell and I’ve got no moral to provide…but it really needs to go without saying, doesn’t it? Drugs kill.  When will Hollywood finally get that through their heads?
  • Weather permitting, the Ankle Biter and I are heading to the local zoo on Sunday.  It’s a smaller zoo and isn’t open year ’round, but they open every Sunday in March and they only ask for a small donation instead of their normal fee.  I guess I’m wondering how many zoos charge guests?  I’ve been to Houston and I’m looking at visiting Chicago (hopefully) in the next few months on business, and their zoos don’t charge.  I thought it might be a big-city thing but then I remembered paying for a ticket at the Toronto Zoo a few years ago.  So what’s the deal?  Why do some zoos charge and others don’t?
  • Let this be a lesson to everybody: trying to blackmail a superstar celebrity for $2 million because you happen to know that they slept with somebody other than their wife is probably NOT a good idea.  Let’s face it…he should have just gone straight to the tabloids and sold the story to the highest bidder.  Oh well.  Better luck next time.
  • Gabourey Sidibe

    Is it wrong to point out that Gabourey Sidibe, the star of Precious, is morbidly obese?  Is it wrong to call her fat?  After the Oscars, Sidibe said that she couldn’t wait to chow-down on Chick-Fil-A.  Is that not sad??  Should everybody just laugh this off as a jolly woman crackin’ jokes?  Listen…this woman got a part in a movie primarily because of her look, and if she gets more acting roles down the road it’ll be roles that focus on her being an extremely large woman. I guess what I’m saying is that while nobody needs to be toothpicks (I’m certainly no toothpick myself), sometimes  people need to just be honest and say “You need to lose weight for your own health“.  This woman could very well be dead in 10 years if she continues down this path, and people shouldn’t be vilified for pointing this out.

  • Sunshine wrote me a random email yesterday and asked me my thoughts on prenuptial agreements.  She didn’t really have a reason for asking, it was just something that popped into her head.  She asked if I would be offended by the notion of a prenup.  For me?  Nah…I’m not offended at all.  This is my take on them: the majority of prenups are signed because people are getting married too soon and they know it.  My thought is that if you have some assets that you want to truly call “your own” as you enter a marriage (family heirlooms, for example), then a prenup makes perfect sense.  I told Sunshine that if she was left a ton of money and/or assets from somebody in her family before we got married, I would totally sign a prenup because I’d have no problem doing whatever I could to prove my love was for her, not for her assets.  Surely, I’m not alone here in this thought process…am I?
  • Lindsay "I'm a drunk whore" Lohan

    Lindsay Lohan is a drunken slutty dumb-ass whore.  I have no problems giving my opinion on her because the facts speak for themselves.  If you haven’t heard already, Lohan is suing e-Trade for $100 million (yes…one-hundred-million-dollars) because a commercial referenced a “milkaholic” baby named “Lindsay” and she (and her mom, apparently) both thought it was a personal attack on her and she wasn’t going to take it anymore.  Her lawyer had the audacity to say that she is so well known that her one name “Lindsay” is as recognizable as being her as is “Madonna”.  How absolutely frickin’ insane is that???  She’s pissed away whatever she had of her career left and is a walking joke.  This lawsuit is about as hilarious as it gets.  Want to see the commercial in question?  I mean…seriously, people.