The Tattoo

I’ve wanted a tattoo my entire life. For whatever reason, I could never really wrap my head around what to get or taking the time/money to sit down in a chair and actually get one done. 

When I was in my 20’s, I really didn’t care about tattoo that much. As I entered my 30’s, I thought that I had the perfect design in mind. It would be a blend of my over-the-top personality while still telling the story that I had finally gotten what I had wanted for so long in my life. It was something in my mind that was very close to this…

A little silly, I know. But to me it showed that after years and years of trying, Wile E. Coyote FINALLY captured the Road Runner…and screw anybody that was every going to doubt him again. Of course, using the cartoon approach would be my way of still being myself.

As time went on and I separated from my wife, I realized that I hadn’t, in fact, captured the Road Runner. I was still the coyote, but I was still using ACME products in an continuing losing effort to get what I wanted out of life. It took me a long time to straighten myself out and focus on all of the good that life has to offer.

Today, as I approach my 45th birthday in a couple of months (ugh), I’ve decided that now is the time for getting a tattoo. My wife is getting her first one this weekend and she has inspired me to finally do what I always wanted to do but was too afraid to actually do it.

 No, I have zero plans to get the Wile E. Coyote cartoon tattoo that I wanted years ago. Instead, I have something in mind that has been with me for a very long time, but only now seems appropriate: 

To me, at this point in my life, I honestly feel as though I have broken the chains that have prevented me from finding true happiness…both internally and externally. Let me explain…

I have a good job with a bright future. Without going into much detail, I’ve finally found a job that is everything I’ve ever really wanted. It blends a combination of sales, account management, personal and professional growth, spreadsheets, reports, helping others, and the freedom to not be micro-managed on a daily basis. Add to that a decent pay structure and I’m one happy, nerdy camper! 

In addition, I have a blended family with five amazing children, three of which I’m having a fantastic time helping to raise. Long time readers already know that I wasn’t around in the beginning to help raise Rugrat (who just graduated from high school and is 18 years old now!). We have a good relationship, but I feel as though I missed out on a lot with her. My oldest daughter (Pebbles, who I only met for the first time four years ago) is almost 21 and is definitely her mother’s daughter. Thankfully, I’m having a hand in raising the three youngest kids — my 10 year old son (Ankle Biter, who is almost 11) and my two awesome stepdaughters (Lil’ Mo – age 12 – and Kiddo – age 14). I never wanted to have children when I was in my 20’s, but now I couldn’t imagine my life without them in it every single day.

Of course, I have an incredible wife who is everything I could have ever asked for in a partner. She is beautiful and, quite frankly, way out of my league. Because we initially met online, we’ve been able to focus our relationship on personalities and really getting to know each other. As we approach our fourth wedding anniversary (WOW!!), I realize that we’ve been together for almost nine years and I don’t ever want to be away from her. She’s my best friend, my soulmate, and the most incredible woman I’ve ever met in my life.

SIDE STORY: I never had a girlfriend in high school. Well, I dated a girl for a week once…but that was about it. Seriously. From eighth grade thru twelfth grade, I never had a girlfriend. I had a ton of girl friends, but was always the guy that was in the “friend zone”. I didn’t hate it, but it certainly made my high school years tough at times. I remember a conversation that I had with a female friend of mine while at a party close to graduation time. She told me that one day I’d find a beautiful woman who would love me for who I was. Little did I realize just how true those words were. 

Finally, I feel as though I’ve made some personal breakthroughs recently that have helped me grow as a person. Without getting into too much detail, I have gotten out from under a thumb that has been on top of me my entire life…even when I didn’t realize it was there. I have finally come to realize why I have certain shortcomings and am trying to work my way through them. This new “freedom” has helped me realize that I’m entering the second half of my life with renewed purpose. It’s like I’m getting the chance to live life all over again, only this time I just happen to be a bit older than the first time I lived. 

So the chains mean a lot to me. I firmly believe that I’ve broken the chains that have held me back for so long so I can now move forward in life without anything holding me down. 

I’m not looking for a massive tattoo or anything; I just want the chains to be on my upper left shoulder on my bicep area. The only question I’m having, though, is what chain photo I should actually get. This is where I need YOUR help.

I’ve got my top 5 choices for a chain tattoo. Which one should I get??

 

1. 

2.

3.

4.

5.

 

Our Groovy Kinda Love

Well…it’s now official. Our video blog is now up and running. The first video is now up and the hope is that we have at least one video up every other day. 

picThanks for the ideas, but we’re going to go with Our Groovy Kinda Love. Since our first few choices were already out in the social networking universe, we found one that was close to us because it’s named after a Phil Collins song…OUR song…that was played at our wedding ceremony.

The name just made sense.

So please join us on our journey as we try to show you what our fun life is like. In a world of Millennials, hipsters, and gamers on YouTube, won’t it be nice to have a married couple in their early 40’s simply being real, honest, AND entertaining?

You can find us at the following links:

  • Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/OurGroovyKindaLove/ 
  • Twitter – https://twitter.com/OurGroovyLove
  • Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/ourgroovykindalove/
  • Email – OurGroovyKindaLove@gmail.com

And of course, everything will feed into our new YouTube channel…

Why I Still Blog

To blog or not to blogI started writing this blog at a time when I really needed to express myself. I had ended a marriage and fallen into a deep depression full of unhappiness and turmoil. I even had some very dark thoughts at one point…self-harming thoughts…and sought some professional help through a program at work.

It was suggested to me that I somehow release these inside thoughts and feelings in the form of a journal. My counter-argument was that I didn’t see the point in a journal as I wouldn’t be held accountable for anything I said or felt or thought. The conversation turned to having an “open journal” of some sort, shared with either people I knew very well or people I didn’t know at all…just to keep myself accountable for the things that I said; hoping to hear feedback of some sort in an effort to converse about these thoughts and feelings of mine.

Thus my blog was born.

I think therefore I blogI’ve shared a lot over the past few years. From intimate thoughts to really sad times to extremely joyous occasions, this blog has served me very well and has done the trick. I’m not perfect by any stretch, but I’m not nearly the angry guy that I was six or seven years ago. My life is full of various forms of happiness, and for that I attribute a LOT to my blog.

So why do I keep writing? If the purpose of my blog is no longer required, why bother doing it?

I think, for me, the passion for writing has overtaken the need to write…if that makes any sense. Where I initially felt I needed to put my feelings down on paper (theoretically speaking, of couse), I now feel like expressing my feelings, instead.

I simply want to talk about things, whether it be directly related to me or not. Whether it’s a post about my family or about my health or about my favourite tv show, I feel the urge to write about stuff. I think that I’m a good writer, too…that my “write as I would speak” style is easy to read and that I normally have good flow to my posts.

I’ve seen a lot of bloggers come and go since I started my blog. The two or three bloggers that I used to follow don’t even write full-time anymore…or if they do I’ve stopped reading them completely.

When I started, there was a very large single-parent community of bloggers that all shared similar thoughts and stories. We were lonely, but didn’t feel alone when it came to our online community…thus we shared in stories and comments and likes on each other’s blogs, always helping to be there to help support each other.

I’ve made a couple of really good friends from this blog, and for that I’m extremely thankful. I’ve helped cultivate an incredible relationship…from the first date to the wedding day…with my wife through this blog, and I don’t know if I could have managed to go through some of the down times at the beginning if it weren’t for writing here.

Why Blog

I now have four blogs that I update on a semi-regular basis. These blogs reflect different areas of interest for me and I write when I am inspired to write. I went through a “down time” in inspiration but, thankfully, I’m back on track with the “writing bug” firmly implanted within me.

My site stats aren’t what they used to be. My comments are fewer and farther between than in previous years. I hardly get any new Twitter followers anymore. But y’know what? It’s all good because I’m writing due to my love of writing and this blog will continue to survive because, for better or for worse, it’s all me.

I appreciate you reading…for however long it’s been. I hope you continue to stick around.