It’s All On Me

I decided to take a moment to weigh myself this morning. I wasn’t really happy with what I saw…

My Weight - 02-25-16 - 235.4lbsNow I’m not stressing out over it…it is what it is. I’m not looking in the mirror and hating myself, which is something I would have done a year or two ago (or, really, the majority of my life). No, instead I’m looking at it and thinking that it’s a challenge I need to overcome as opposed to a hindrance or a reason to hate myself.

Y’see, this was my weight on April 6, 2015:

My Weight - 04-06-16 - 239.2lbs

This was me and my lowest emotionally (and highest physically). Thought when I was let go from my job last summer, I tackled the sidewalks and ended up losing a bit of weight. This was October and my lowest weight in about a decade…

My Weight - 10-14-15 - 215lbs

Yes, I realize it’s a different scale but I weighed myself at home on that day, too. I had lost over 20 pounds and was feeling like a million damn dollars. But the problem was that I was focusing all of my happiness into whether or not I looked a certain way. It’s taken me 43 years to figure it out, but I believe I’m at a place where I know what will truly make me happy…and it’s not the scale.

As I wrote last week, I need to find inner happiness in order to be happy. My job…my family…my weight…none of that will matter if I’m not a happy person on the inside. I feel like I’m getting there…slowly, but surely.

logo-maritime-race-weekendI am running (crawling?) a half marathon later this year and the countdown is on! I fully realize that I will never be able to do it if I continue to sit on my ass…nor will I be able to run any of it if I’m almost 240lbs. So this is my motivation for the remainder of 2016 to get off my ass as often as I can. 

I’m not going to set any goals or targets other than to finish the half marathon regardless of how long it takes me. I also want to lose weight, but I don’t want to put pressure on myself. I want to do it on my own because I want to, not because I feel miserable or my clothes don’t fit or I’m unhappy with what I see in the mirror. 

I’m at a much better place emotionally right now, so it’s a matter of getting the rest of my life in order. I’m the one in charge and I’m in the one who can either make this work or not. It’s all on me…so I guess it’s time to grow up and get ‘er done!!

Hey…I’ve got a FitBit and would LOVE to be consistently challenged throughout the remainder of 2016. If you would like to join me (or invite me to whatever YOU’RE doing), let me know!! Hit me up on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or Email and let me know who I should search for. I would love to connect with as many FitBit friends as I can.



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