Sad To See Her Go

I’m sad.

002On Friday, I drove 5-hours round trip to pick up my son and bring him to Halifax to spend the night. It was his birthday on Thursday and I wanted to have him join everybody for a birthday dinner on Friday night. He chose the meal (tacos!) and he chose the dessert (Moon Mist ice cream!). What I did was ensure that the entire family was together.

The other reason I brought him to Halifax was because Rugrat was flying back home to Ontario on Saturday morning, so I knew this would be the last chance to get all the kids together again for at least a year (it’s her mom’s turn to have her for Christmas). I even invited Pebbles to come over after she got off of work so EVERYBODY could be together one last time in 2015.

001We had a blast at supper. When the kids all grow up, the thing I hope they remember the most is the fun we always had at the dinner table as a family. When we get together as a group, we have even MORE fun. It’s just one of those things that I never got to experience when I was younger…family fun at the dinner table.

I took some photos and we watched some television and called it a night.

On Saturday morning, I was a little anxious (Sunshine could totally tell, too). Ankle Biter and I were going to pack-up and take Rugrat to the airport, drop her off, then drive to my dad’s to spend the rest of the weekend together. I wanted to ensure we got to the airport on time, but I also didn’t want to have her leave at all…so I was a little “off”.

On the drive to the airport, I did my best to tell Rugrat just how proud I am of her for the woman she is turning into. I told her how much we loved having her here; how we truly felt as though she was a permanent part of our blended family. I told her how much I loved her. I probably ranted a bit too much, but I wanted to make sure I told her all of the things my dad never told me when I was her age.

016We took a few more “goodbye” pics in the airport and I got her ready to go through security. Just before she was out of view, we saw each other and locked eyes. I did a “sad face” tear motion with my hand…to show her I was sad that she was leaving. She did the same thing back to me before she disappeared from eyesight.

I nearly lost it right there. Thankfully, Ankle Biter was with me and was able to shake me back to reality pretty quick.

In past years, Rugrat was part of the family but always a little distant. She never felt as though she was a part of the family. She didn’t feel comfortable because she never had the “fun family atmosphere” with her mom and stepdad. We had a great conversation last Christmas where she explained that she didn’t know what it was like to feel completely comfortable with a family…so this time around, she left her laptop in Ontario and spent almost all of her time with us. She tried really hard to be part of the family and SHE WAS.

To have her leave is bad enough. To have her truly integrate herself into our family in such a short period of time is something else entirely. She’s been gone for a couple of days and I miss her already. It’s just not the same without her here.

At all.

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