Coming Along

The last couple of weeks have been, to me at least, a bit of a turn-around from the previous couple of weeks. The biggest reason for that, I believe, has been my update in medication.

It’s weird to suddenly be relying on anti-depressants to feel “normal”, but I’ve felt better over the past couple of weeks. I feel like I’m making progress and that I’m making small strides.

I look in the mirror and don’t hate what I see. I’m still overweight, but I’m down four pounds since going off the other medication and I am becoming more comfortable with the weight that I’m carrying…which is something I never normally feel like. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still unhappy with being overweight, but I don’t feel as antsy or update about the whole thing.

I don’t feel like I’m so quick-to-snap, which is a defensive reaction I normally have. I find myself being able to control things a bit better in that respect. Obviously, I won’t know for sure until a few months go by, but one of the issues I have with my depression is that I’m always quick to be defensive about even the most miniscule topic. Considering I had a big blowout fight with Sunshine just over a week ago, I know that it’s something I’m still working on…but I feel like some revelations came out of that argument; revelations about me and my expectations of myself and those around me.

There are still some side effects that I wish weren’t there, but overall I feel a lot better. I don’t feel like I’m relying on Sunshine to keep me “up” all of the time. I feel like I’m the only one making those decisions on a daily basis.

I see the doctor tomorrow for a follow-up. My hope is that we’re good to move forward with reaching a final, permanent dosage and then I can look into getting some one-on-one psycho-therapy.

But at this point, I feel as though I’m coming along. It’s one step at a time, and I feel like I’m moving forward.

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5 thoughts on “Coming Along

  1. Glad things are looking up! When I was on antidepressants, I hated that it affected my sex life. I was just…numb. Hopefully, things are better with the newer medications!

    Thinking of you.

    xxoo

    1. Well…the new medication is the original medication, so things aren’t quite what they used to be in relation to sex. I’m going to do whatever I can to not let that affect us too much, though.

  2. It’s good to hear that you are feeling better. I like that you are actively trying to get better. To me, that’s the biggest step. Keep up the good work!

    1. I’m doing what I can. It’s a continual thing, y’know? It’s not just sit back and let the drugs do all the work…there’s a lot of continual work from my end of things. I’ll get there.

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