Seven years ago, before I met my incredible wife, I was in a pretty bad state. I was fresh off of a separation from my (now ex) wife and hitting the bottom of the barrel in terms of depression. I was alone and desperate for attention of any kind.
I had gained a lot of weight during my wedding in a relatively short amount of time. At the time, I attributed it all to no longer smoking but I can look back now and realize that I turned to food as a way to deal with my depression.
I worked for a good company with a lot of good people. I decided to do something different for Halloween because I didn’t usually dress up. I went down to a local “party supply/costume rental” company and picked up a pirate costume. I wore it to the office and people seemed to get a kick out of it. I look back at it now and am horrified by how I look.
One pic has me in the whole wigged-out outfit minus the eye patch. Another pic has me sans-wig but WITH the eye patch. The bottom pic has my son coming to visit me at the office on his 2nd Halloween, just over a year old. It’s probably the only time you’ll see a pic of me and my son both dressed-up for Halloween.
I look at these pictures and am mortified by how I look. The weight is bad enough, but I can see the pain behind the mask. I can see the desperate attempt at getting others to like me. I can see the hurt behind the smile (especially as my ex-wife took the last photo of me and the Ankle Biter).
But this blog is about sorting through my feelings and confronting them head on. So today’s Throwback Thursday pic is a collage from 2007.