I started writing this blog at a time when I really needed to express myself. I had ended a marriage and fallen into a deep depression full of unhappiness and turmoil. I even had some very dark thoughts at one point…self-harming thoughts…and sought some professional help through a program at work.
It was suggested to me that I somehow release these inside thoughts and feelings in the form of a journal. My counter-argument was that I didn’t see the point in a journal as I wouldn’t be held accountable for anything I said or felt or thought. The conversation turned to having an “open journal” of some sort, shared with either people I knew very well or people I didn’t know at all…just to keep myself accountable for the things that I said; hoping to hear feedback of some sort in an effort to converse about these thoughts and feelings of mine.
Thus my blog was born.
I’ve shared a lot over the past few years. From intimate thoughts to really sad times to extremely joyous occasions, this blog has served me very well and has done the trick. I’m not perfect by any stretch, but I’m not nearly the angry guy that I was six or seven years ago. My life is full of various forms of happiness, and for that I attribute a LOT to my blog.
So why do I keep writing? If the purpose of my blog is no longer required, why bother doing it?
I think, for me, the passion for writing has overtaken the need to write…if that makes any sense. Where I initially felt I needed to put my feelings down on paper (theoretically speaking, of couse), I now feel like expressing my feelings, instead.
I simply want to talk about things, whether it be directly related to me or not. Whether it’s a post about my family or about my health or about my favourite tv show, I feel the urge to write about stuff. I think that I’m a good writer, too…that my “write as I would speak” style is easy to read and that I normally have good flow to my posts.
I’ve seen a lot of bloggers come and go since I started my blog. The two or three bloggers that I used to follow don’t even write full-time anymore…or if they do I’ve stopped reading them completely.
When I started, there was a very large single-parent community of bloggers that all shared similar thoughts and stories. We were lonely, but didn’t feel alone when it came to our online community…thus we shared in stories and comments and likes on each other’s blogs, always helping to be there to help support each other.
I’ve made a couple of really good friends from this blog, and for that I’m extremely thankful. I’ve helped cultivate an incredible relationship…from the first date to the wedding day…with my wife through this blog, and I don’t know if I could have managed to go through some of the down times at the beginning if it weren’t for writing here.
I now have four blogs that I update on a semi-regular basis. These blogs reflect different areas of interest for me and I write when I am inspired to write. I went through a “down time” in inspiration but, thankfully, I’m back on track with the “writing bug” firmly implanted within me.
My site stats aren’t what they used to be. My comments are fewer and farther between than in previous years. I hardly get any new Twitter followers anymore. But y’know what? It’s all good because I’m writing due to my love of writing and this blog will continue to survive because, for better or for worse, it’s all me.
I appreciate you reading…for however long it’s been. I hope you continue to stick around.