Okay…I give up. You’ve got me. You win.
Healthy living…I just can’t fight you anymore.
I woke up this morning and found out that I’m the heaviest I’ve been in years: 236 pounds. And that’s AFTER a week of running. I mean…I can’t fight it at this point. Pounds simply aren’t going to “fall away” on their own. I’ve absolutely GOT to do something to go along with my exercise.
I’ve been dreading this and fighting this for years now. Sure, I’ve gone on diets before and I’ve tried eating salads two or three times a week…but I always fell off the wagon whenever I lost a few pounds, thinking the rest would just disappear.
Unfortunately, that’s not how life works.
My body hates me right now on numerous levels. It hates that I’m older. It hates that I’ve got some kind of sugar addiction. It hates it when I move. It hates it when I sit still for too long.
So Sunshine wins. I will eat what she gives me (including salad but excluding tomatoes!) and I will not complain. If she ends up sounding like Claire Huxtable, I will thank her for keeping me in line because, for whatever reason, I can’t seem to do it on my own.
Similar to Random Esquire training the Couch-to-5K with me, I’m hoping Sunshine can be my motivation to stop hating myself and start loving myself by eating better and eating less. She loves me…now I need to do that, too. This all has to be done simultaneously with the exercise because, quite frankly, I might stumble and fall off the wagon again…and that’s something I just can’t afford to do at this stage in my life.
I’m 41. I’m overweight. I’m unhealthy.
I’m working on one facet of my life and trying to improve it. Why wouldn’t I go all-out? Why shouldn’t I? I’m worth it, aren’t I?
Damn right I am. It’s time I stop whining and stop short-changing myself and stop hating the way I look on a daily basis and just DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. There is no way that I’m going to fail this time…too many stars are aligning and it’s just time to make a change. So you know what this means…