Pass Me The Spinach…

Okay…I give up. You’ve got me. You win.

Healthy living…I just can’t fight you anymore.

I woke up this morning and found out that I’m the heaviest I’ve been in years: 236 pounds. And that’s AFTER a week of running. I mean…I can’t fight it at this point. Pounds simply aren’t going to “fall away” on their own. I’ve absolutely GOT to do something to go along with my exercise.


I’ve been dreading this and fighting this for years now. Sure, I’ve gone on diets before and I’ve tried eating salads two or three times a week…but I always fell off the wagon whenever I lost a few pounds, thinking the rest would just disappear.

Unfortunately, that’s not how life works.

My body hates me right now on numerous levels. It hates that I’m older. It hates that I’ve got some kind of sugar addiction. It hates it when I move. It hates it when I sit still for too long.


So Sunshine wins. I will eat what she gives me (including salad but excluding tomatoes!) and I will not complain.  If she ends up sounding like Claire Huxtable, I will thank her for keeping me in line because, for whatever reason, I can’t seem to do it on my own.

Similar to Random Esquire training the Couch-to-5K with me, I’m hoping Sunshine can be my motivation to stop hating myself and start loving myself by eating better and eating less. She loves me…now I need to do that, too. This all has to be done simultaneously with the exercise because, quite frankly, I might stumble and fall off the wagon again…and that’s something I just can’t afford to do at this stage in my life.

I’m 41. I’m overweight. I’m unhealthy.

I’m working on one facet of my life and trying to improve it. Why wouldn’t I go all-out? Why shouldn’t I? I’m worth it, aren’t I?

Damn right I am. It’s time I stop whining and stop short-changing myself and stop hating the way I look on a daily basis and just DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. There is no way that I’m going to fail this time…too many stars are aligning and it’s just time to make a change. So you know what this means…

Pass me the spinach.spinach_popeye


20 thoughts on “Pass Me The Spinach…

  1. You know that when I was younger I had plenty of my own struggles with food and weight. A turning point for me was when I realized that healthy food wasn’t a punishment of some kind…eating healthy food is actually doing something kind and loving for yourself. By eating healthy food (and exercising!) you will attain and maintain a healthy weight…your body will thank you for it, and your heart and soul will thank you for it, too.

    I’m flattered that you’re looking to me as inspiration for this. If you look closely you’ll see that while yes, I do eat healthy, I also leave plenty of room to enjoy less healthy things from time to time as well. I’m not deprived, I’m not pining away to dive into a family sized bag of Cheetos at every turn. It took time to get here, but yes, I enjoy healthy food…and if you allow yourself, you will reach that point too, I promise.

    I’m proud of you, sweetie. xo

    1. I’m going to need you through this. You know how I’ve felt in previous years when I’ve gone on a diet…it ain’t pretty. But this is a choice that I’m making because I want to. I’m going to do my best to NOT look at this as a punishment, but rather as a new beginning.

  2. Keep in mind that any time you begin a new work out regime, it’s possible to maintain or gain as your muscles begin to build. After your muscles begin to build, then you will burn more calories. 🙂 I maintained for 3 weeks after I started running before I started losing.

    Make changes you can live with. Work in “treats”. Find out what your triggers are and learn to work through them. I had a tendency to binge eat when I felt deprived. I’m proud to say I’m now 8 days binge free. 🙂

    I’m also on Weight Watchers, which I love, but I know it’s not for everyone. Keep it up – the end goal will be worth it!

    1. I binge eat a LOT…then I feel horrible afterwards…then I eat again because I’m depressed. It’s a vicious circle.

      VERY proud of you for going 8 days. I’ve got a weekend with my son coming up and I’m hoping to be able to get through THAT without binging on food at least once.

      I appreciate the comments, Alicia. I’m gonna keep trying!

  3. Good for you! If you want a little motivation, watch “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead” (you can watch the entire film on the website) and/or “Hungry for a Change”. Both excellent documentaries that will help keep that fire lit for a change 🙂

  4. You talk about your body as another person. I understand that and I’m glad you have realized it is your own and that your decisions reflect on it. I’ve been doing research into attitudes towards food including binge eating. I know it sounds weird but I swear it can make a massive difference to your behaviour if you pay attention to your thoughts when you eat. Be mindful, when you choose a meal think of what will benefit you more nutritionally and know that it will do your body good. When you do want something sweet, have it when you actually want it but pay attention to those ‘I’m going to feel fat after this’ instead change it to ‘I’m going to enjoy this and carry on making healthier choices after it.’
    Sorry for the essay but your thoughts control your habits and your habits contribute towards your body. Good luck 🙂
    P.s. Id recommend ditching the scales, your body weight always fluctuates 🙂

    1. I appreciate the advice. I’m going to try doing that over the next few days and see how I feel. “Thoughts control habits”. It’s one of those things that makes so much sense but you just kind of ignore it.

      I don’t know if I’ll ditch the scale, though I know I probably should.

      Thanks again for commenting!

  5. I absolutely agree with Sunshine, this isn’t a diet, it’ll be a lifestyle, but it takes time, sometimes a lot of time, to adjust mentally and physically to that. you have HUGE support in Sunshine already, which is awesome and will really make a big difference too. Love to see the motivation and you two supporting each other!! game on CBG 🙂

  6. Wow! This sounds like I could have written it. I am the heaviest I’v been in a while. I’m miserable in my work clothes (scrubs) because they are too tight. I’m addicted to food. Addicted to sugar. I can’t seem to get physically or mentally motivated. Yadda, yadda, yadda! We should form a club. Anyway, I say these things not because I’m narcasistic, but so you’ll realize you’re not alone. We all know what we need to do, its changing our mind to impliment those changes. And if I could find the full on answer to that, we’d be in healthy eating heaven. We have so many reasons to want to be healthy. I took the 1st (new) step yesterday. I’m using an app on my phone (LOSE IT) that is helping me track my food & calories. I’m hoping this will be eye opening as to the crap I’m putting in my body. (I already know it, but seeing it may help me.) You are sooooo fortunate to have your own personal dietician (& cook)! Best of luck on your new lifestyle. I’ll be cheering you on! I can’t wait to read about it. I have no doubt it will be motivating to me!

    1. Tammy, it’s good that you’re counting your calories…it’s a very effective way to lose weight, and it’s how I keep my own weight in check. It’s very eye-opening, but another important thing is does is allow me to have “treats” without feeling guilty. I can eat light during the day, for example, allowing myself enough calories to have a bit of dessert at dinner now and again, or for a special occasion, without feeling bad about it. We’re taught that we should feel guilty for eating dessert, when dessert can be a part of overall healthy eating, if we do it consciously. Hopefully that makes sense. 🙂

      I hope that you find the motivation that you’re looking for. You deserve to be healthy and happy. xo

    2. I appreciate the comments, Tammy. One of the things that you do when you write a blog is you put yourself out there for the world to see. Sometimes you don’t hear back, sometimes you do. It’s nice knowing that there are other people out there going through the same struggles that I am. It’s always nice to know that you’re never alone.

      Thanks for commenting. If I can do this, ANYBODY can do this!

  7. SO many great comments here that I have nothing to add… except that, again, I am PROUD of you. You so got this… and you have great support around you. And ya know what? Doing this for yourself keeps you around longer for those who love, need and want you around. Plus, think of how much MORE enjoyable life will be!

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