“The Rut”

stuck-in-a-rutIf anybody has been in a relationship for more than just a couple of months (I’m assuming that covers just about all of you), then you probably know what it’s like to go through what’s called, “The Rut”.

As in…“We’re stuck in a rut.”

More than once over the past week or two, Sunshine has noted that she doesn’t want us to fall into that rut. We’ve both been going through some motions lately…a routine of sorts that doesn’t really let us be ourselves.

Y’see, if you’ve followed either my blog or hers over the past few years, you know just how much we love life. We love exploring the world around us and experiencing new and fun things together as a couple. Lately, we’ve been spending our “off nights” relaxing on the couch watching HGTV or the latest episode of Survivor. That’s not to say that there is anything wrong with that, because there isn’t. It’s also not to say that it’s not “us”, because it is…just not EVERY night that we don’t have the kids with us.

So how does a couple, four+ years into a relationship and scheduled to get married later in the year, get out of a possible “rut” or “boring routine”?

It’s going to take some work on our parts, for sure. We need to be spontaneous if we’re feeling like doing something new and different. We need to plan to take dates and then follow through when it’s actually date night. We need to make a conscious effort to be the couple that we WANT to be, not just the couple that we are (if that makes any sense).

Obviously, any other suggestions are welcome…so don’t be afraid to throw in your two cents.

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4 thoughts on ““The Rut”

  1. When my husband and I met, we were both single parents (I have one, he has 5) and weekends were spent running kids here and there etc, so Wednesday nights became our night. No matter what needed to be done during the week, who needed what or to go where, nothing was ever scheduled on Wednesdays, because that was our night.

    It took a while for everyone to get the message that we were not going to be available to anyone on that night, but once they did it was easy. Sometimes we went to dinner and a movie, other times it was nothing more than a walk in the park, but it was our night, and something we both looked forward to.

    Fast forward 20 years, and now our days are filled with 8 grandbabies, but Wednesdays are still our night. I think in 20 years we have probably missed our date night less than 20 times, primarily due to someone being sick, a death in the family, or traveling for work.

    You two should pick a regular day, one that you can plan on consistently week after week, but still be spontaneous. One week she can choose what to do, the next week you can, the third week can be a date at home, and the fourth week something you plan together….

  2. Ok, I’m all about date night myself. GJ and I so rarely get this! We almost always have children with us so if we get a chance to just sit on the couch and not move, it’s heaven! LOL!

    Love Lynn’s comment too! Put it on your calendars now!

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