The Big Secret – part two

As I said on Monday (and you really should read this first before continuing on), I had a huge secret that I never told anybody over the years. In fact, other than a few people in my home town, nobody ever knew. I was young, dumb, and selfish…never realizing the pure joy that being a parent can bring.

Fast forward to two years ago when my mother passed away. I received a Facebook message again from her, this time offering me condolences on the loss of my mom. It was unexpected, even though we did share a couple of mutual friends. I just thought her hatred and disdain for me would prevent her from reaching out like that. She did, however, and it was a very welcome gesture. I thanked her for the kind words and felt I needed to tell her a few things.

First, I wanted to let her know that I wasn’t the same man I was 10+ years before. At this point, I had been dating Sunshine for a couple of years. I felt as though I was a MUCH better man than I was prior to being with her, as being with Sunshine has simply made me a better man all around.

Second, and the reason for the first point, was that I let the mother to know that I was ready to have a relationship with our daughter, should she ever want to meet me. I took 100% of the blame for the relationship not working out and that I realized just how much I had lost as a result of not being in our daughter’s life. I was a father to two more children now, and I now knew what being a man was all about.

However, she never responded to my message and that was the last that I would hear from her for quite some time.

Fast forward to last September. I received a Facebook friend request from the mother that said the following:

“Hey just a little note to let you know she knows you are her biological father.”

I was shocked to say the least. I asked why this came up and how it all happened, but again there was no response.

I decided to not push the issue. I mean, it was now fifteen years later and if my daughter knew about me, she probably hated me for abandoning her…and I couldn’t blame her for having those thoughts. In my mind, there was resentment and anger and all of it would be justified.

I tried to prepare myself for a follow-up, but how does one do that? I just tried to continue on as best I could with my new life, living with Sunshine and her girls.

Fast forward to about a month ago. I received the following Facebook message:

“Just wanted to let you both know that she would like to meet you both you and Sunshine.”



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