I never really had much of a taste for Christmas after my marriage turned sour. It just didn’t seem like much fun. Sure, there was seeing my kids get gifts and smile and laugh on Christmas morning, but it just wasn’t the same for me. I felt a bit empty inside knowing that it was only a partial family Christmas.
Then when my mom got sick with cancer, the holidays were more of a reason to celebrate her life than actually celebrating the season.
Once Sunshine entered my life, things changed a bit but I still felt a bit empty. I knew that I was living in my home and that she was living in hers and that whatever we were doing for Christmas was just a temporary situation; a brief sense of happiness and celebration before going back to a mundane life of staring at the walls alone every night.
This year, though…things are different.
Living with Sunshine has changed my entire life in a myriad of ways, the biggest of which has been my feeling part of a family unit again. Having people around you constantly that love you and want to be part of your life is something that I think most people take for granted. Where I’m living that life right now after going so long without it, I’m never taking that for granted again.
We recently had our weekly “computers off/family night”. We listened to Christmas music while enjoying supper and then began decorating our new apartment as a family. Even though the decorating didn’t quite finish (due to the decorations we could find in storage not filling up the place), it was all I could do to not burst into song and exclaim my happiness from the rooftop (or from garage doors in Markham…highly recommended). I was smiling the entire time…just happy to be able to enjoy something as simple as decorating for the holidays with a family: MY family.
I can’t wait to have all four kids here with us on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. It’ll be the first time that all four have been with us on Christmas morning since we began dating just over four years ago. We’ll be together as a family, and that’s the best gift I can imagine receiving.