The Predicted Break

For once, I feel like I’ve got so much to say in so many ways and all the time in the world to do it…but it’s difficult trying to balance everything.  I’ve been blogging about so many different topics lately, it’s hard to figure out which direction I should go in any given day. In fact, I couldn’t even concentrate enough to focus on one topic for a post yesterday. Crazy, right?

Well…something shot straight to the top of my list last night. I decided to give my dad a call to see how he was doing. I didn’t have any real reason to call him, just wanted to say “hi”.

He immediately joked that he thought I had forgotten about him.  I mean, it had been a week since I talked to him last…I didn’t think he had missed me very much in seven days, especially with his fiance at his side.

This is when he proceeded to ask me if I had seen his updates on Facebook.  I rolled my eyes because I had been complaining to Sunshine about his renewed interest in the social media site. I rolled my eyes even more knowing that he accidentally set up two Facebook accounts and had been re-adding people to his “new” account.  I mean…the guy is 65  years old. Shouldn’t he be playing bingo in a hall somewhere?

Sigh…

Anyway…it turns out that he and his fiance had some issues recently and have decided to “take a break from living together” while she stays at her sister’s house down the street.

He gave me his reason behind the split. I’m not sure if it’s temporary or not (neither does he), but I felt it wasn’t the time or place to truly let him know what I thought of the situation. Instead, I told him that I was sure things would work out one way or the other and that I was there for him for whatever he needed.

What was I really thinking? Well…Sunshine and I had noticed a bit of distance between the two of them over the Christmas holiday. He gave us his reason for why she wasn’t around very much, but whether or not that was the actual case you could tell his wasn’t impressed. 

The bottom line…I actually saw what I thought I was seeing: they simply weren’t compatible together.

At least that’s my take on it. It has been since the beginning.  If I really saw a connection between the two of them, maybe I wouldn’t be so hesitant to accept her into my heart.  I was nice to her, I was kind to her, and I never said anything negative towards her. She’s a nice lady and she may very well be a family member down the road if they work things out.  But from the very beginning I just didn’t see it…I just didn’t believe that these two people were in love and ready to get married.

Sure, it’s crazy to try to judge two 65 year olds and what love is supposed to look like…but that’s just what I noticed.  So with the anniversary of my mother’s death just over a month away, my dad is now alone again.  NOT good.

Sunshine and I are going to do whatever we can to support him over the next little while. Whether he admits to it or not, he’s going to need that support from us. We’re his family.  We love him unconditionally.  We’re the ones who are going to be here for him going forward.  He needs to know that.  I’m sure he already does, but it doesn’t hurt to have a friendly little reminder.

But as much as I’m not upset about this split and how I saw it coming from a million miles away (though I thought they’d get married before realizing it was a mistake), it saddens me to know that dad is hurt and alone once again. It’s not a good feeling for anyone to go through.

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7 thoughts on “The Predicted Break

  1. Like we discussed last night, all we can do is keep loving and supporting him as best we can, whether we agree with his choices or not.

    If they’re finding out that things aren’t going to work between the two of them, it’s better for them to discover it now, than after the wedding. As much as it’s difficult for him, getting out of (or worse, staying in) an unhappy marriage would be far worse in the end.

    You’re a good son.

    1. I’m actually relieved that this happened now instead of later. I’m also concerned because of the close proximity to the anniversary of mom’s passing.

      And thank you. I’ve had my ups and downs over the years, but I’m trying to be a good son now.

  2. Wow. I do feel badly for your dad, but also, realistically, if they aren’t comptabile, better to know now, not later. You are doing the right thing, you are supportive and there for your dad. I commend that.

  3. Yes, have to agree here. It’s better they realize this NOW. And as one who has BTDT, I promise you, this is the right thing, even though it hurts. Being there for him is what does in fact, make you a good son, son.

    XO.

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