I Failed

All I had to do was be there for her. All I needed to do was make sure I was there when she needed me.  Instead, in my attempt to come off as the “glorious perfect always-there boyfriend”, I ended up missing the most important part of the entire weekend.

In my attempt to support the woman I love, I completely failed her.

I could come up with excuses, but I won’t. I could go into the details of exactly what prevented me from being at the finish line when she crossed it, but there’s no point now.

I’m going to lay low for a few days and try to wrap my head around why I’m not being the man that she needs right now.  I need to figure out what I have to do to be a better person…why I find myself not only letting her down but letting those close to me down, too…not to mention myself.

What was supposed to be an amazing weekend with a fantastic story about Sunshine’s triumph over her own fears has turned into an extremely unfortunate series of let-downs that took away from her happiness.

I need to take a step back and analyze the situation.

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10 thoughts on “I Failed

  1. 3 tips/antecdotes:
    1) Train for and complete a 5k. Do it. You will then get a glimpse of the way it feels to do something you never thought you would be able to do! Do it!!! There is a great program, couch to 5k. Do it!!
    2) Don’t be so down! Things happen; you go with the flow, obviously apologizing profusely if you can, and be light-hearted if you can. Life is short. The details don’t matter, but we all make mistakes, and the quicker you realize that you can’t be everything all the time, the better you’ll feel about the great ways that you are there.
    3) I do understand the stress you must be going through, thinking you let someone down. I once missed the only basket my child ever made in a basketball game becasue I left the stands to talk to a friend. She didn’t notice, nor did she care. Other than to say, I’ll get another one next game for you to see. And she did. She wasn’t playing for my happiness, but for herself and her team, and that was all that mattered. I was quite proud of her, while feeling like a complete heel, myself. And I have NEVER taken my eye off another game!
    4) Having been a triathlete, I know how long it takes to complete these events, and wonder what do the support people do for fun while they wait? I wouldn’t be able to do it! May as well join them! See number 1.

    🙂

  2. I think admitting that you have made a mistake or let someone down
    is really important and to admit it publicly in front of us all is a good start in thinking a situation through.It’s always frustrating when someone denies they slipped up ,so you’re on the right path I think!

    I don’t deny that perhaps you made poor choices but I do often question
    how runners expect their partner/spouse to sit around for 2 (or 4 if marathon!) hours ,and perhaps dash around to various points to cheer them on. The reason I feel this ?Because I think these long runs are a
    PERSONAL goal and achievement that one does for themselves.I personally would be happy if someone met up with me later for a celebratory lunch and told them to go wander and explore the area while the run took place.I question why it all has to be about the runner-be there to celebrate after, but to me the finish line is just one moment and
    there will be tons more finish lines for runners-must a partner be at every one? I think it’s the runner’s goal and hobby for them-and as long as one
    is supportive and proud that is what truly matters….ok, off my soapbox!

    Were you looking after the 3 kids while the run took place?
    That shows huge support already!Good job on that!

    PS Since I don;t know the situation, I have no idea if you deliberately tried to sabotage her big moment or whether you were there for her in your heart- only you can know that most important question of all….

  3. As I was considering what to say, I read appleomyeye’s comment and all I could say was, “Yes, exactly.” 🙂

    Completely agree with everything there!

    I appreciate you wanting to take a step back and observe what happened but be careful that you don’t take away from the sense of pride and happiness that Sunshine feels now by needing more attention from her. Shake it off, apologize if need be, and then cheer for how she feels now.

    Love you both.

  4. ((hugs)) I KNOW you wanted to be there at the finish line, but you WERE there at the start, at various points during the race etc. And that’s all that matters. And you were there for her all along the way too. I know it’s hard not to beat yourself up, but I hope you can sit back and maybe see that it will be okay, that it happened accidentally, and that Sunshine is still feeling your support, no matter what.

  5. That sounds sucky – but you not being at the finish line doesn’t take away from her accomplishment – she’s still awesome! And just missing this one moment doesn’t make you a horrible boyfriend – we all make mistakes, and clearly you’re doing all you can to make up for it.

  6. I don’t know what happened, but I’ve run enough races to think, whoa! Sometimes the finish line is crammed with people and it’s hard to get to. And popping up along the race route is hard too. Sometimes you have more success than others. I think it’s great that you were there at all!

  7. Your problem is you are just too damn hard on yourself…you are human…relax breathe and quit beating yourself up!!
    Sunnie in NC

  8. i think this is just part of a relationship that you can’t avoid. there are really times that things won’t work the way you want to be. the important thing is how can you put things right on track again.

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