I had this whole blog post idea planned out in my head. The idea changed after yesterday’s family gathering.
Y’see, the family gets together every Sunday afternoon at my aunt and uncle’s house. Extended family, friends of the family, and whomever else decides to drop by show up to talk, laugh, gossip, and just enjoy each other’s company.
Two weeks ago dad brought his girlfriend to the house. It was awkward for everybody, but things went along as normal as they could be. Yesterday dad brought her over again…only this time proceeded to tell everybody (casually, mind you) that they two of them were “getting serious” and were discussing moving in together.
Now I don’t know if dad even noticed the looks and glances at that point, but I did. I noticed, primarily, because most of the looks and glances came my way.
Listen…I love my dad. I really, really do. I also think his girlfriend is a nice woman and that’s not just a line of bullshit. Will this last? Who knows? I can’t see it, but dad’s in such a mental state right now that it could go on for quite some time.
I want to be angry at this, I really do. The awkwardness and tension in that room for the rest of the time I was there was brutal. It just wasn’t comfortable for anybody. But what can I do? Dad’s so desperate to replace what he lost that he’s just going head-first into this relationship and fuck everybody else if they don’t like it.
And the fact that he’s forcing her and the relationship onto everybody is NOT cool…but I guess I understand it. I mean, he’s making himself to be really into this woman (who he constantly calls “dear” now) and he wants confirmation from everybody around him that it’s okay. At least that’s my interpretation.
It’d be different if I didn’t know just how much dad loved mom. I’d be pissed if I really thought dad was just jumping into a bed because he could. I saw what he went through…I felt his pain. I can’t be angry at him for doing whatever he can to not feel so empty every single day.
It doesn’t mean that what he’s doing is right, though.