I talked to my dad last night to shoot the breeze a little bit, as we’re doing now on a regular basis. In fact, our relationship has never been better since mom passed away…and that’s something that has left the both of us extremely happy.
As we’re talking, dad casually mentioned that he has been on a few “coffee dates” with a woman that he went to high school with.
My immediate reaction? “Oh…okay.”
I think he was expecting something different, but that was all I had at the time. He went on to tell me the story of how they reconnected within the last couple of weeks and who she is as a person. He seemed to think she was a very nice lady…independent, attractive, and easy to talk with.
He hadn’t told my little brother yet, but knew he could feel safe telling me. I told him that I support his happiness 100% and will continue to do so.
Truth is, my gut is telling me that I’m really hurt by this. Mom passed away in February…it just seems “wrong” to already be dating somebody.
My head, however, is quite clear on the issue. Mom and dad were married over 40 years. When she died, a massive hole entered dad’s life. He’s been so lonely…to the point that I’ve considered moving back to my home town just to be closer to him…that all he was looking for was companionship to fill that hole in his life.
And unless I’ve been in that situation myself, there is no way in the world that I could ever judge him for that.
I can’t even begin to put myself in that position and try to understand what he’s been going through over the past few months. I know what I’ve been going through, and it’s been hard enough for me to get through things…I can’t begin to understand what losing your soulmate of 40+ years would feel like.
And knowing mom, I think she would be okay with this. I mean, dad is 65 now…life is short enough without throwing health issues into the mix. If he wants to find someone to be his “special friend” and spend his final years with so that he’s not alone, who am I to say otherwise?
I’m not happy about the situation, but I’m alright with dad being happy because his happiness is what’s important to me. He has already said that no woman could ever “replace” mom…but I know that already. I don’t have ANY doubts on how dad felt about mom, so that’s not even entering my mind right now.
He just doesn’t want to be alone…and I’m fine with that.