Last Friday Night

Sunshine and I went into this past weekend with the hopes of reconnecting on a number of levels. I’m pretty sure I can say that the mission was accomplished. All in all, it was a great weekend where we, indeed, reconnected on a number of different levels.

We went out to enjoy the Halifax Seaport Farmer’s Market as we always do. And y’know what? It rarely gets old doing that with her. I just love walking through the artisans hand-in-hand…taking in the atmosphere…going up on the roof on a beautiful sunny day. It’s a non-verbal connection that we both feel.

Sunshine on the roof of the Halifax Seaport Farmer's Market: 06-11-11

I love experiencing new things with Sunshine. Something new experienced together was the “World Naked Bike Ride“, which is something we tried to see last summer but missed. We thought we may have missed it this year but we happened to catch a glimpse of the ride taking place and then did our best to get ahead of it just so we could take pictures. I mean, how often do you see 50+ naked people on bicycles all at once riding around?

Something else I got to do was stand next to a guy dressed as a stormtrooper…which, quite honestly, would have been fun enough for the geek inside of me to enjoy but I was more concerned with how my son would react.

I really think he’ll freak out (in a good way) at the sight of his father hangin’ with a “real life stormtrooper”. I’m hoping that his opinion of me elevates just a little bit.  I mean, c’mon…look at these!!

Gotta love the dude giving the stormtrooper some "bunny ears" behind him.
This is my "I'm getting attacked" pose. maybe this was more for me than for my son.
The dudes from Maritime Heavy Armour

Actually, there were four guys there dressed up in different outfits from Maritime Heavy Armour who were there to help raise money to fight the battle against prostate cancer. Obviously, after just completing a very emotional Relay for Life just a couple of weeks ago, I’m all about giving these guys as much publicity as my little blog can muster. So if you’re interested in checking them out, please do so…you’ll find out info not only about them but about their fund-raising (they raised $300 the afternoon we saw them). You guys are doing a good job out there…making people smile and trying to raise funds for a good cause. Keep doing what you’re doing.

Hey…speaking of my son…he starts soccer tonight!  It’s the first organized sporting activity that he’s ever been signed-up for, so needless to say I can’t wait to go watch him every single time he’s out there.  I want to be “that dad”, y’know?  The guy who shows up for every game because he puts his son first. And right now, at a time where I could be working a TON of overtime, watching my son play soccer just seems so much more important than anything I’ve got going on at work.  I just can’t wait to be a “soccer dad”.

And now for the “depressing/not really that happy” part of today’s post…I gotta be honest and say that not everything going on in my life right now is all wine and roses. I realized over the weekend that my quest to finally accept myself as the good person that I am isn’t going the way I want it to.  I mean, I’m almost 39 years old and I still have moments where I feel like that 15-year-old kid who got picked on for wearing bad clothes, having bad hair, and suffering from really bad acne.

I have to admit it…I look in the mirror and absolutely hate what I see.  And what’s worse? I allow this reflection of myself to affect how I act around others.

I’m trying, though…I just need to figure out how to break down these walls I’ve built-up around myself over the years.  And I don’t think they’re walls that prevent others from getting in because I usually tell Sunshine more than I want to (I just don’t like holding things in when I’m with her).  No, the walls I’ve built are preventing ME from getting through to ME.

Sunshine has tried so very hard to help me see the man that she sees, and I feel like I constantly let her down because I just can’t see what she sees.

But I’m trying.

On the positive side of things, I tried chocolate soda over the weekend and didn’t hate it.  Seriously.

Oh…and Sunshine had some DQ, which is kinda eventful because it’ll be the last time all summer she’ll be having any. I’ll let her tell you why, though.

And finally, I have to admit that I absolutely love this new Katy Perry song/video. It’s catchy…it’s pop…it’s fun…it’s everything a guy my age SHOULDN’T enjoy, but I do.  Immensely.



5 thoughts on “Last Friday Night

  1. I am really glad you two reconnected this weekend. And I love the pictures you take of Sunshine, gorgeous shots! 🙂 And now I REALLY want Dairy Queen, that looks so good. As for loving you…it is really difficult to do it, no matter how many people tell you they love you for you, you need to love you for you, and that’s just the plain truth. It’s what I have realized with my self-image issues lately, that no matter how much reassurance I get, I need to do it for me and fix what’s wrong with me in my head, nobody else can do it for me. You’ll get there, I have faith. (and yay for soccer! That’s awesome, I’m sure he’ll be great!)

  2. Love the pics, as usual.

    As far as the rest, *sigh*

    Wish I could just fix you, me, Sunshine and Gentleman Jack all up! Get us all together in the same towns and have our children all get along with each other and each of us and finances be perfect and the families would blend together without a hitch.

    Unfortunately, relationships and especially LDR’s and especially after failed other relationships and fucked up belief systems from our childhood make everything really REALLY hard. There is no magic solution except pure love of self. Period. Sounds easy, huh?

    Baby steps, right? That’s what I keep telling myself. And I am NOT a patient person.

    Much love to you.

    1. I’m not normally a patient person, either…but when it comes to the long term relationship possibilities, I’ll be as patient as I have to be.

      It’s trying to find that same passion…that same caring…that same patience with myself that’s the problem. I’m certainly trying, though.

  3. Dear “Bald Guy”:

    I am the guy in the Halo Master Chief costume from Maritime Heavy Armour. Many thanks for spreading the word on our efforts to support the fight against prostate cancer. We started this spring and to date have raised just over $1000!
    Meeting folks like you is part of the fun, hope to see you next time we “troop” the boardwalk.

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