Yesterday was horrible.
I had to bury my mother’s ashes, which was extremely difficult. It wasn’t just difficult to finally say “goodbye”, but to see the pain my dad was going through was really tough for me. Tears were shed, words were spoken, and then we jumped in dad’s truck and went off to the local coffee shop for some java.
It was a bit surreal; just sitting there drinking coffee and trying to have a normal conversation after burying mom. But at the end of it all, we just wanted to move forward with our lives as best we could.
Then I got home and decided to not go in to work. I just wasn’t in the best frame of mind. So I mowed my lawn (it’s been raining for a month straight now, so even with the sun I had a foot of wet grass to mow….NOT fun) and came back inside to an email from Sunshine.
What started off as a conversation about this weekend quickly escalated into an entire afternoon of arguing. Things were said that hurt both of us and, if I can be completely honest, I almost reached my breaking point and ended the relationship…that’s how sad and angry and upset I was feeling.
Thankfully, a very good online friend reached out and helped me to calm down a bit before making any rash decisions. She helped me immediately recognize that I was a LOT more sensitive than I normally would be considering the morning I had. Once I realized that I wasn’t thinking clearly, I then took a step back and tried to communicate with Sunshine in a way that (hopefully) didn’t sound confrontational.
Needless to say, our email miscommunication (and honestly, that’s how it all started) was addressed and issues were worked out. Obviously, one of the major road blocks to a long distance relationship is the inability to diffuse a situation in person before it escalates. You don’t always get what you’re looking for from an email…not all feelings can be expressed, not all inflections can be interpreted.
My take on yesterday is that couples fight…us being in an LDR doesn’t make us that different from anybody else, we’re just not in the same city when it happens. Once the fight has ended you can either keep going on like nothing ever happened (which will probably lead to more fighting and resentful feelings) or you can learn from the argument, grow as a couple, and become even closer once everything is said and done.
I’m hoping that not only can we move forward with a weekend together (a family weekend with our kids, at that!), but we can move forward and grow closer as a couple after learning from the experience.
Moving forward. They’re not just words; they are actions that need to be taken in order for life to truly continue. I’m going to do my best to not only move forward, but to do so in a positive way that helps myself and my family.
I hope you all have a great weekend. And as for us? I truly believe that when Monday rolls around that we’ll be smiling from experiencing a fun, love-filled family weekend together.