Dear Universe

Dear Universe…

Y’know, most of the time this whole long-distance relationship really sucks. I mean, I’m absolutely head-over-heels in love with the woman I’ve been searching for all of my life and, for the time being, we’re unable to be together in the way that we want.

She can’t move any time soon (3-4 years at least) because she shares 50/50 custody with her ex-husband and he’s actually NOT a deadbeat dad (though he’s a HUGE douchebag but that’s another story).  He has said that when the girls are older, things may change and they may want to live with one parent more than the other…but there’s no exact timetable right now.

I can’t move any time soon because I’m not yet ready to be an “every other weekend” dad, especially where my son is only four.  As he grows older, things may change…but I just don’t know how long that will be.

So Universe, all I’m asking is that you take care of Sunshine during this period and help her go through day-to-day life.

Me? I’m doing okay.  I’ve been through a lot recently and I feel as though I’m strong enough to deal with whatever you want to throw at me. And to be honest, the way I see it is I’ve been waiting my entire life to find this woman so if I have to wait a few more years before we’re able to live under the same roof, then I’m 100% willing to do it because I never want to lose her.

She wants this change made sooner rather than later.  For the record, I feel the same way but I just don’t see it happening unless one of us wins the lottery.

Listen, my intentions are to marry Sunshine…period. That’s the plan.  I don’t know when it’s going to happen but I certainly don’t want it to wait until we’re finally living together.  It’s quite possible to live in a long-distance marriage (info can be found here, here, & here) and I know that we’re both going to have to work very hard if that ends up being the case.  So Universe…please help both of us manage and cope with this ridiculous “every two weekend” relationship until the stars align and we’re finally together.

I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want her to suffer because of the distance. I want our lives to be as one. I want us to live under the same roof as one, big, happy family.

Is that too much to ask?

Thanks.

CBG

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6 thoughts on “Dear Universe

  1. Dear CBG:

    I don’t normally directly answer messages like these, but I figured what the hell? It’s Friday. This can be my good deed for today. Carpe diem and all that bullshit.

    Listen, your woman is hurting. She’s scared of the future and all that it may or may not hold. She got burned pretty badly with this whole “happily-ever-after” thing once already, so it’s tough for her to trust in it again. She needs love and reassurance – some days — hell, some weeks — more than others.

    She also needs to know that being in this LDR is tough for you, too. Sometimes she doesn’t necessarily want you to put on a brave face. Be vulnerable. Let her know when you’re sad and lonely and frustrated about being alone. It shows her that you care. Yeah, she knows it anyhow, but sometimes it’s those demonstrations of love and caring that count for a lot.

    What she also needs is to feel like the two of you are moving toward something together RIGHT NOW, even if it’s not the ultimate goal of living under the same roof 365 days a year. It is tough knowing that so much is out of her control — particularly things that she REALLY wants to be able to change. With so many things up in the air and depending on other things and other people, and a million other factors, she needs to have things that she CAN count on.

    And you know what? As much as I can do my best to take care of her and to help her help herself, she also needs this from YOU. She hates admitting that, Little Miss “I-Wanna-Be-Strong-and-Independent-All-The-Time”, but it’s true. Underneath all of that she’s still more vulnerable than she’d like to admit. Be patient with her, she’s trying.

    And just remember that all of this — the sadness she sometimes feels and the fear that overwhelms her by times — is only because of how much she loves you. She’s never had this before, and she still often feels like it’s going to be taken away from her.

    So dude, hang in there. Your woman loves you enough put up with this LDR crap on the hope that I’m finally going pull through and make shit happen for you two. You’re a pretty lucky bastard in my books.

    You both are.

    Sincerely,

    The Universe

    P.S. Oh – and just one small request. Please don’t go giving my email address out, okay? My inbox is overloaded as it is. 😉

  2. What a beautiful plea…and I really really really hope you either win the lottery (wink) or the Universe listens, in some way. You both have extremely valid reasons not to be able to move right now, and I respect those reasons. But it has to be hard not to want to just say ‘eff it’ and move (either of you) to be together. That speaks volumes for both of you and your character.

  3. Man, that’s tough and I get it. I co-parent my 6 year old and I think about a lot of the same things excluding the being in love and in an LDR part. Dating and finding the right girl can be trying enough as it is, but throw in having the responsibilities of fatherhood and being tied to a location and it’s even harder. Now that you’ve found somebody it is completely understand not wanting to lose her. The good thing is that you both understand what it’s like to be in the other person’s shoes. I think that will give you both the wisdom to make it through the distance obstacles. Best of luck to you.

  4. In the meantime, ask yourself what would you have to do if you are ready to get married tomorrow. What needs to get done? Are your divorces finalized? Can your career move to another city? Blah Blah?

    If anything still needs to be done, get it done and voila, you have progress towards a goal. Luck favours the prepared.

  5. But how could you ever ask the other to leave their child or children behind (or ask the child/children to have their parent either leave them or mske them leave one of the parents?)

    This is the ultimate question.

    I personally could never leave a child.End of sentence.

    I think you two seem like a beautiful , made for each
    other couple. I am pulling for you and believe you can stay together for eternity.

    But, please reconsider making one leave a child behind.
    I hope that neither of you will ever have to do that, because it just seems so wrong for everyone involved.

    Blessinga and the very best of karma to you all!!!

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