My son actually told me on the phone last night that he didn’t want to come to my house for supper. Crazy, right? Talk about a slap to the face.
Here’s the story…
The Ex called me and told me that my son had something to tell me. I asked him if he wanted to come over tonight and he said “yes”, so we’ll see what happens. The Ex got on the phone and explained that she didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want it to come from her and have me take it the wrong way. She also said that he’s been out of sorts the past few weeks…tired/cranky when she picks him up, he’s getting into trouble with the babysitter, and throwing the occasional temper tantrum with her.
He doesn’t do that when he’s with me. I’m just assuming it’s because I’ve got a different parenting style: not better, just different. The Ex isn’t sure what, exactly, is going on with him but wanted to stress that she didn’t think it had anything to do with me. He had a similar night last week where she had to buy him a toy at a discount store to get him to want to come with me. On the way to my house, he fell asleep and got a 10-minute power snooze. Upon waking up, he was the normal excited 4-year-old son that I love so much. It was like he wanted to be with me all along.
So I didn’t take it personally that he didn’t initially want to be with me. I didn’t take it personally last night, either. We’re not sure what’s going on but he’s either not getting enough sleep at night or is at a point where we need to think about giving him another nap during the day…even if it’s for 30 minutes or so.
Still…at the end of the day I hurt at hearing my son say those words to me. I’m pretty sure ANY parent would hate to hear those words, especially if that parent wasn’t the one with full custody. I know he loves me (he even said that to me on the phone) so it’s not like I’m questioning that.
I guess it goes back to me feeling like I’m a bad parent even though I’m being told it has nothing to do with me. I dunno…I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I just can’t help it.
It hurts to hear.