When It’s Over

I read some disturbing news last night over at Ms Single Mama’s website.  Apparently her and ‘John Bear’ broke up their engagement…on Christmas Eve, no less.

It’s disturbing because a picture had been painted of their relationship through her words; a picture of blissful happiness and finding “the one”.  He proposed…she said ‘yes’…they bought a house together…her son called him “dad”.  Everything seemed perfect. She inspired a lot of people to help believe in love again.

Apparently there were issues, though…and because I’m just a reader (as we all are) I didn’t know all of the details of what was going on behind the scenes of her blog in her “real life”.

Sunshine and I discussed the break-up last night and we talked how our relationship also inspires people.  We wondered if our blogs portrayed a “peachy keen” version of our relationship…if perhaps we weren’t being 100% honest in how we described things.  I mean seriously…we do appear to be happy A LOT OF THE TIME.

But then we sat back and realized that while we do have the occasional argument, 90% of our relationship is, in fact, “peachy keen”.  We still have that “butterfly” feeling of being in love.  We still laugh together.  We still love to talk with each other.  We truly believe that we’re as happy as our multiple photos show we are.

If it ever becomes close to being over, we’ll know well in advance.  Heck…I think you’ll know, too.  Our relationship is real enough and strong enough that we’ll be able to recognize it and do our best to work through it before it becomes an issue too big to handle.  And we blog…maybe not about 100% of our lives, but a lot of it…so you’ll probably be able to recognize the signs when we do.

IF that ever happens.

But going back to “the news”, I’m very sorry to hear about the break-up of Alaina and John.  Hopefully they can both find happiness in 2011…whatever form happiness may take.


6 thoughts on “When It’s Over

  1. AMEN to that. her post was the first I’d ever read (after seeing a bevy of twitter comments to her, since I do follow her on twitter) and my heart breaks for her, in part because of that rosy view that wasn’t really true. I fell into that trap with my ex, I think, and I never want to again. I still struggle with it, the whole honesty and open communication aspect but I am learning. And that’s all that matters, right?

    And yes, you and Sunshine DO inspire. You inspire me every single day!

  2. There is a fine line, I suppose, in writing about issues because they can also aggravate or make things worse. Writing about them, I mean.

    However, I really did try to be as transparent as possible and had no idea, at all, that John had reached a boiling point like this. I really didn’t.

    This was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before in a relationship. We were engaged, we had just bought a house. We were happy – or so I thought.

    Clearly, I have a lot left to learn. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective on this and so happy for you and Sunshine.

  3. That is very sad 😦 I think it’s easy for people to view an outside relationship as perfect. Also, some people choose to only show the good stuff – and that’s fine, because it’s their choice to share or not. My heart goes out to her and her little one.

  4. I am sorry to hear about the end of any relationship.

    Maybe I am jaded, but the way I see it, there’s no such thing as perfect. There’s really good, there certainly can be really great. But perfection? Just doesn’t exist. Not in any relationship, no matter how rosy that picture is painted.

    Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing since we need bumps and roadblocks to teach us how to cope together and make for stronger couples. And going into any relationship knowing that saves a lot of potential heartache down the road.

    1. Robin, I’m with you…there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. We’ve all got issues and problems and roadblocks and obstacles. Having a great relationship is about finding a person that you can work out your problems and issues with. 🙂

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