The Zombie Plan

This is a re-post from last year, but with the debut of The Walking Dead coming up this weekend, I thought it made sense to post this again.  Hey…it’s for YOUR protection.

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Do you have a plan for when the zombies attack?

Please, people…don’t tell me that Halloween is the only time of the year that you think about zombies and the undead. C’mon now…surely you must realize that zombies could bring havoc to the land of the living at any time of the year. What will you do when it happens? Where will you go if you’re being chased by flesh-eating beings? How will you survive the impending apocalypse?

Well…I’ve got a plan. It’s not perfect, it’s not absolute, but it’s a plan. In fact, Sunshine was a little taken aback at knowing that I actually had a plan in place. Well…she’s gonna be in a world of hurt if she doesn’t at least have an escape route in the back of her mind.

So because you never know if somebody who will eventually be a zombie on my trail will read this (and use it to catch me later….duh!!), I’m not going to provide my detailed plan here.  Instead I’m going to help all of you by providing some very important tips on how to stay alive during a zombie apocalypse:

  • Find water. I don’t know about you, but I have yet to see a movie where zombies could do ANYTHING involving water. So find a boat…a life raft, even…and seriously consider going to the nearest island to wait out the storm (so to speak). Of course, if this island has only trees and bugs then you might be in a bit of a jam when it comes to staying alive, so you might need more than just a boat in order to stay alive. Of course, if you don’t live anywhere close to water then you’re probably screwed if this plan is followed.
  • Find weapons. Lots of ‘em. Guns…explosives…machetes…anything that can blow something up or cut something off. You’ll need it. Just remember there are only two places you can focus your attack on: the head and the knees. Everybody knows that zombies eat brains. The flip side of that is the fact that zombies will actually “die” if you destroy their brain. So always try to aim for the head each and every time. Of course, if the head isn’t an option then go for the knees. Why? You can out-run a zombie with only one leg. Trust me.
  • Find a mall. Not only are there a LOT of resources there that are available for you in order to survive (food…water…those shoes you saw on Sex & the City), but there are normally a LOT of places to hide from the undead hordes that might be coming after you. Obviously, there may be some drawbacks like the distinct possibility that more and more zombies might surround the mall because it’s where they used to congregate when they were alive…but for the most part you’re probably in a pretty safe spot. BONUS: Pick a mall with a Wal-Mart or some outdoor specialty store for easier access to zombie-destroying weapons.
  • Find old people. This may sound crass and horrific, but let’s face it: you don’t want to die, AMIRITE?? Do you really think a zombie cares if they’re chewing on flesh from somebody who’s 20 years old or 80 years old? Nah. If you’re being chased by some flesh-eaters, your best bet is planning an escape route that runs past a senior citizen’s home. You may frown upon that idea now, but you’ll thank me later.
  • Find a remote area. Listen…most of the zombie hordes will spend weeks (possibly months) eating on the yummy flesh within the urban areas and cities. So if you live on a farm or in a suburban area, you’re probably in better shape than you think. Is it free of zombies? Well of course not…but it’s still better than being in a city where the undead will breed faster than Octomom in a sperm-donor clinic.
  • Find a way to stay alive for 5 years. The suggestion is that bacteria will have eaten away at the zombies to the point that they cannot actually “survive” after 4-6 years. So if there has been a “zombie war” and you have found a way to self-sustain, then you’ve got a great chance at long-term survival.

Hey…I’m no expert. I’m sure there are ‘official’ websites and books out there that can tell you, in detail, what you need to know in order to completely survive the zombie apocalypse.

But don’t let the Halloween talk make you think this is the only time of the year that you need to think of a plan. Any good parent should have a solid zombie plan.

It’s just a given, isn’t it?

Guess who’s going to Orlando?

I know…it’s a pretty pompous blog post title.  I can’t help it…I’m just so damn excited.

I had been told about a month ago that the national sales meetings were going to take place in Orlando, Florida this year. The only problem was that I was also told that it wasn’t a guarantee that I would go.

Thankfully, that fear was squashed on Monday morning.

It was confirmed that I’m heading to Orlando next month on a 4-day business trip.  Now on previous trips, I’d blog about what things I could do on my down time.  I did it for my trip to Chicago and my two trips to St. Louis and I’ve even asked readers to help me on what to do on a trip (like my trip to Fairfax/Washington for last year’s national sales meetings).

Portofino Bay Hotel - Orlando, FL

This time it’s a LOT easier.  Not only am I a theme park junkie, but (get this) I’m actually staying at the Portofino Bay Hotel at Universal Studios.

Yeah…I’m a lucky bastard.

So there are four of us going on this trip and I’m the only one who has been to Universal Studios before.  And because of our schedule, we’ll only have a Tuesday afternoon to check it out…so they’re relying on me to be their tour guide.  And what’s better is that one of my sales reps (who lived in Orlando for ten years) is also going to be there at the same time we arrive and can’t wait to hit-up Universal Studios with us.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando

The plan is to tackle Islands of Adventure first-thing and check out The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, which is supposed to be an amazing experience even if you’re not the biggest fan of the franchise.  I also need to check out the Jurassic Park River Adventure as I never got to enjoy it the last time I was there.  After that my sales rep wants to hit the roller-coasters.  I’m not a HUGE roller-coaster fan and I’ve got a massive fear of heights, but I told him that I wouldn’t “pussy-out” and disappoint him.

We’re also going to try to hit a couple of rides over at Universal Studios, too…with The Revenge of The Mummy ride at the top of my list.

But here’s the thing…the parks close at 6pm at this time of year so we won’t have a lot of time to see everything we want to see.  But the great thing about Universal Studios is that they’ve got a thriving night life with their CityWalk area.

CityWalk's Rising Star - Orlando, FL

And I couldn’t be more excited about the possibility of crossing off one of the items on my Bucket List: to sing in front of a crowd being backed by a live band.  How is that possible?  One of the night clubs at the CityWalk is called Rising Star and is a karaoke bar…but it’s not a normal karaoke bar with cd’s playing music in the background, but rather you’re backed by a FULL BAND (including back-up singers!).  I think I’ve already got a few song possibilities picked out but I’ll wait until I get there before throwing my name in the ring.  If all things go well I’ll be able to videotape it and throw it onto YouTube along with the ton of others already available.

The only other thing on our schedule outside of business meetings for the week is an Orlando Magic basketball game against the Phoenix Suns.  I’ve never been to an NBA game before so that should be a LOT of fun (even though, as a Canadian and a Toronto Raptor fan, I have a massive “hate-on” for Vince Carter).

So needless to say, I’m just SLIGHTLY excited about this trip and I’m sure I’ll be writing more about it in the next couple of weeks.

There are days where I just LOVE my job.

The Weekend in Pictures

I took Friday off from work so I could spend an extra day with my son and make it a 3-day weekend.  Sunshine and I had also decided to have a second weekend in a row together and make it a full-on family weekend with my son and her two girls.

So Ankle Biter and I arrived by mid-afternoon and immediately head to the Discovery Center.  They had a new space exhibit so I just had to take advantage of it…

There were a few different space outfits that Ankle Biter tried on. This one just happened to turn out the best. Thank goodness those Russians are on our side now. They are, right?
Okay...you need to suspend your disbelief and pretend that this "optical illusion" is actually an optical illusion. Well...I tried to take the picture at the right level. It kinda worked.
I can't tell you just how awesome it was to see all of the kids getting along. I just loved seeing them play and do things together. Thankfully, when they weren't running around and screaming they were calm and quiet and drawing. Seriously...I loved moments like this.
There's just something about having breakfast with all of the kids together that brings a smile to my face. And, apparently, it brings one to them as well.
We decided to take the ferry from Halifax to Dartmouth. It was Ankle Biter's first time on a boat so he was pretty excited. And Sunshine thought that the kids deserved a treat so she bought them a small pack of Timbits. Of course, the donuts were completely gone before we were even halfway across the harbour.
What...you didn't think we'd go too long in the day without the obligatory self-portrait, did you??
This picture brings a smile to my face because I dream of what our future will eventually be like. I really, really believe that we'll be a family under one roof some day. Until then, I'll always cherish moments like these.
After enjoying a stop-over at the Dartmouth Alderney Gate Library, we made our way back on the ferry to catch some lunch. Ankle Biter was just mesmorized by the ferry and being on a boat. I'm looking forward to bringing him back in the spring when it's warmer so he can enjoy the roofless upper deck and TRULY take in the experience.
One of the awesome things that I noticed this weekend was that Emm was beginning to take on a "big sister" role by reading to her sister and to Ankle Biter. For a few minutes on a Saturday afternoon, Emm was the queen of her castle.
As we were visiting some friends on Saturday night, Ankle Biter whipped out a Mouse Trap game. I'd like to say that this game is the most frustrating board game I've ever participated in. Any slight bump just ruins the entire thing. It's ridiculous. I hate it. Ankle Biter loved it, though...so I guess I can't complain too much.
I absolutely love this photo of Sunshine (taken at a playground that we all went to on Sunday morning). I don't know if it's just me...but I just think she's especially beautiful in this shot.
Sunshine took this picture of Ankle Biter at the playground. She is such an amazing mother, it's just extremely difficult for children to NOT love this woman and want to respond to her. She's just amazing, and my son is learning that.
Sunshine took this picture of me at the playground. No...that's not my purse on the table next to me (y'know...for those of you wondering).
Ankle Biter loves the swings, and he's slowly graduating from the "baby/toddler seat" to the "big boy seat". I didn't want to push him too hard, but he certainly enjoyed being a big boy.
The most fun the three kids had at the playground was to take turns going down the slide. Sometimes, though, there were 3-kid pile-ups taking place. They didn't seem to mind too much.
I know it looks like Mo wasn't having any fun, but I'd like to think that it was the sun shining in her eyes. That's what I'll use as her excuse, anyway.
What can I say? This picture turned out much better than I had initially anticipated. I'm just in love with this.
And of course we had to end our weekend with a self-portrait. Y'know, this weekend may not have been something that we're used to but it turned out to be a LOT of fun. It was a family weekend...and I couldn't ask for much more than that.

 

Sign of the Gypsy Queen


I arrived at the front door and was told to use my key to get in. As I entered, I was given explicit instructions to hand Sunshine the Crystal Ball Gypsy costume through the bedroom door without looking.

She wanted everything to be a surprise.

The door opened up and out walked Sunshine the gypsy. My jaw dropped to the floor.

Does the costume actually look like this when it was being worn by a real-life person? Yes. Did the costume deliver the desired effect?

Oh hell yes.

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I can’t tell you just how happy I was to see this awesome costume from the Lingerie.com Halloween page. I’ve got a few pictures of Sunshine in this outfit, but she would KILL me if I ever published them. Trust me when I tell you that she looked absolutely incredible in this costume.

After being offered the opportunity by Lingerie.com to pick out a Halloween costume to write a blog about, I actually found it difficult to choose just one from their new 2010 costumes page. It took awhile but I ended up giving Sunshine a few different choices and we finally decided on one.

Now while Halloween is just over a week away, trust me when I say that these costumes can be used for more than just Halloween…so you’ll be happy to know that there is a “Sexy Halloween Sale” going on right now (with discounts of 25% or more!).

No BS…the quality of the costume that we chose was good enough that it is something that Sunshine would wear out to a costume party at any point in the year.

So thanks for letting us try this out, Drew. From a guy’s point of view, I was a VERY happy camper and this was a LOT of fun. Check them out on Facebook, too.

Oh…and as an FYI to anybody interested…the costume stayed on that night until it was time for sleeping.

Heh…

You can check out Sunshine’s take on the outfit by going here.

It’s a no-brainer

As I previously mentioned, I’m not really the best at making financial decisions.  I live (barely) from paycheck to paycheck and I never have anything in my bank account once bills are paid.  Y’know…WHEN they’re paid.

So the inevitable question comes up: Can I even afford to be in a long-distance relationship? Quite frankly, the answer is “no”.

But here’s the thing…I haven’t been able to afford being in a long-distance relationship since I started dating Sunshine almost two years ago.  ** insert laughter here **

So what has changed?

On my end…nothing.  And maybe that’s why I’ve fallen behind on bills on more than one occasion within the last year. Because of “the state of the economy”, there were no raises this past January for the first time since I started at the company 3 1/2 years ago…and that really hurt.  I’m still paying my share every month for Ankle Biter’s babysitting expenses that wont’ be done until he starts kindergarten next September, at which point I’ll then be paying for his after-school program).  I’m still paying on a car and a home that I can’t really afford, and that won’t change until I sell my home.  To assume that it’s smart to be in a relationship that involves travel every few weeks wouldn’t be accurate. It’s simply not a smart decision.

So why am I still doing this?

I’m involved in the greatest relationship I’ve ever had.  So regardless of whether I’m broke or not doesn’t matter…I simply don’t want to lose what I’ve got.  Sure, things would be infinitely better if we lived in the same city or if one of us won the lottery.  Unfortunately, neither one of those things will be happening any time soon.

Does that leave us at a crossroads?  Not for me…at least not on my end. I mean, what’s was more important to me: my relationship or finances?  It may not be smart, but it’s a no-brainer.

I absolutely adore Sunshine.  I’ve searched my entire life to find somebody that I want to spend the rest of my life with.  If I need to go through another year…even another few years…going through the same financial situation in order to be with the woman I love, then that’s what I’m going to do.

It’s difficult.

It’s scary.

There’s no end in sight.

But I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way.