How much time between marriages is appropriate?

I’ve been separated from my wife for over three years now. We officially split up in March 2007. We’re still legally married even though we haven’t lived under the same roof since April 2007.

So what’s the hold-up??

Procrastination, I suppose. She and I get along better now that we’re not together than we ever did as a couple…so divorce has never been high on the agenda. It’s funny, because I’ve discussed this issue before and just never followed-through on it.

Well…no more.

The forms are filled out. All that’s required is a signature, sending it in to be filed by the provincial government, and then filling out the final “that’s that” documentation. I’m hoping to officially be single by November.

Here’s my question, though…is there an appropriate time limit between one’s divorce and one’s next marriage?

I think it’s safe to say that I’ve found “the one” with Sunshine. At 38 years old, I’ve finally found the one who I can call my “soul mate” and who is simply everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman on every single level. Without going into much detail, we’ve discussed the possibilities of marriage and we both know it’s something on the horizon.

Oh…did I forget to mention that she’s legally still married, too? She’s also hoping to be officially divorced before year-end, as well.

For any of you out there who may be in your second marriage (or at least considering it), should there be an appropriate time frame between when one marriage ends and another marriage begins? Does it really depend on the separation? I mean, some people are separated for over a year and end up getting back together…so I guess it also depends on a person’s definition of “separation”.

For me (and for Sunshine), “separation” meant “the end”. My ex and I never had ANY incling to reconcile or get back together and the marriage was over long before we even decided to separate. I guess it all depends on the individual, though.

And no…I’m not proposing to Sunshine as soon as the divorce papers are filed (for those of your curious). But in the interests of being pro-active, I’m just wondering if there is any kind of “buffer time” that I should keep in mind?

Hmmmm…

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10 thoughts on “How much time between marriages is appropriate?

  1. Personally I think it depends on the separation. I’ve been separated from my ex for two and a half years now. For me, I feel like divorce papers are just that…papers. They don’t hold some kind of magical significance for me…it’s more about the sentiment and intention behind them.

    And y’know…just because two people get engaged doesn’t mean that the marriage is going to happen right away anyhow.

    heh.

  2. I think the only thing we can be sure of is that Henry VIII may have rushed it, marrying Jane Seymour on the day that he had Anne Boleyn’s head cut off ….otherwise, play it by ear (as long as you’ve still got them)

  3. Well, the divorce was final for us on June 4 2009 after just over a year of separation. He remarried on June 13, 2009. Seems quick for me. I’m getting remarried on Oct. 16, 2010…doesn’t seem too soon there. I think it depends on the length of the relationship with the next person, too. I’ve been with mine over a year and half…so it doesn’t feel too soon. I don’t think there’s a hard-and-fast rule to this at all.

  4. My husband and I are second marriages, both of us, and we got married about a year after our divorces finalized. We had been dating for about 6 months prior.

  5. For me divorce helped with closure, even though my divorce was mostly amicable. If I were still separated and not legally divorced two years later, (as it’s been two years for me) I think that would be hard for me – even though it’s “just” a piece of paper. As for a buffer, I don’t really think there needs to be one, per se, as at this point, it IS just a piece of paper. my two cents πŸ™‚

  6. Sunshine — Very true…heh.

    Dulwich Divorcee — Yeah…that Henry was quite the playa. I don’t think I’ll follow that route.

    Lucy — Best of luck!!

    Julia Smith — Very true. I suppose only you can decide what the best time truly is.

    Soccer Mom — He got married after only a year separated? That DOES seem a bit quick to me. I didn’t even start dating until almost two years after the initial split.

    Kate — That sounds reasonable. I think you probably have a much better idea of who you truly want to be with on your second time around. At least that’s how I’m feeling right now.

    Michelle — That’s probably the best idea.

    jolene1079 — Very true. It IS just a piece of paper…but because my ex and I have been getting along so well it just hasn’t been something either of us have actively gone after.

    I gave her the documentation yesterday to go over and return to me on Wednesday (when I see her next). Hopefully, the next step is filing!

  7. Divorce can be a tumultuous time and if not managed properly, can be one of the most financially devastating life events. The process can be emotional and intense and the financial decisions you make during this time might be some of the most important economic decisions of your life. It is imperative to understand your complete financial situation. Knowledge and preparation will be crucial to your creating a sound financial agreement.

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