Is Sex Better After 35?

I’ve had my fair share of sexual experiences in my life. 

And really, that’s not me attempting to brag.  Quite frankly, there are a good number of experiences that I wish I could take back.  I sometimes joke about how the 90’s were a blur, but the reality of the situation is that I acted in such a way that I wish I could turn back time and change a LOT of things.

But that’s really a different post for a different day.

No, I’m here to wonder if I’m the only one who is experiencing the absolute greatest sex of his life as he enters his late 30’s.  And no, I’m not just suckin’ up to Sunshine (no pun intended…heh). 

I mean, I’ve heard of people who have said that “with age comes experience” but I always thought that was just a line of bullshit that old people said.  But here’s the thing: I’m now one of those “old people” that I used to joke about.

Okay…I’m not OLD, but you get what I mean, right?  I turn 38 later this year, so it’s certainly not like I’m in my “prime” anymore.

So why does it feel like I am?

Listen…I could go on and on about Sunshine’s mad skillz in the bedroom.  And to be honest, she is definitely the most amazing woman I’ve ever been with…in all areas.  But I guess the question that I’m wondering about is whether or not I’m having the absolute BEST SEX of my entire life because I’m perfectly compatible with the woman of my dreams?  Or is it simply a case of the both of us having just enough experience that we know exactly what we need to do in order to please the other person?

Sure, I have the “experience factor” working for me…but I wonder sometimes if that really makes that much of a difference.  I mean, when I was 25 I thought I had the world by the ass and I was “the man” in the bedroom.  Looking back now, though, I realize that I didn’t know diddly squat about the intricacies of the female anatomy and how to truly please a woman.  So I guess that’s certainly a big factor as to why sex is so much better now than it was then…and it was GOOD then!

So tell me, kids…is sex better after 35? If that’s the case, then why do older men go after younger women?  Why do cougars go after younger men?  Are they all just trying to chase after that intangible physical connection that exists between two people truly in love regardless of their age?

What say you? Is your sex life the absolute best it could be? Is your sex after 35 better than it was at 25?


15 thoughts on “Is Sex Better After 35?

  1. At 39 3/4 – yes, it is much better. I think with age comes a comfort with what you like vs. what you don’t and the ability to communicate that. When you are younger, I don’t think that you realize that ab is better then just a… until it happens, by mistake perhaps. THEN you realize that ab rocks and you grow up a little and you’re not afraid to ask for it.

    I’ve had my share of good sex and bad sex. The best sex is with my hubs cause I can ask him for things and he can ask me and there are no judgements, no EWWWW or anything, two adults discussing how they like to be pleased physically. It works fantastically.

    As for older men going for younger women, I think that’s just an ego thing. For cougars, I think it’s more a self esteem thing. But that’s my opinion.

  2. I think sex after 40 is the best so far! I know for a fact after 35, I opened up and was more comfortable with what I wanted in the bedroom (and out, for that matter). I’m married to someone younger but only a few years. I actually dated someone 12 years younger at one point but it was too much. You’re right, he didn’t know his way around and I didn’t feel like teaching.

  3. I am 30 now…and I feel like I am confident enough to ask for what I want. When I actually feel like it…I’ve been known to run to the bedroom and pull the covers over my head and pray he waits until I’m sleeping to come to bed…Hahaha..I don’t do that EVERY night…Hey we have 2 young kids 1 preteen and 2 teenagers…I need my rest just to keep up some days! But we always make sure we make a conscious effort to spend time just the 2 of us as often as we can..

  4. I definitely positive that I’m having the best sex of my life. And, as I said on Sunshine’s post, I agree that I think a lot of it is the feeling of safety and non-judgment from our partners. It also helps to be with someone who isn’t ashamed of their sexuality. Shame just shouldn’t be allowed in the bedroom. Unfortunately, many of us have to go through things in order to see the ridiculousness of shame. Once we open up, and someone accepts us, we open up more (heh. pun intended.). And the more willing you are to really be yourself, really let go, then of course, you will blossom and your sex life will be life-altering.

    Good for you! Good for BOTH of you. You definitely are teaching each other acceptance and love.

  5. 44 years old here and definitely having the greatest sex of my life with my 10 year younger husband. I believe that it has a LOT to do with compatibility and the fact that he has a damn good teacher. Heh. Sex was always amazing for me because I am not docile in the bedroom. I am very demanding and usually get what I want. It wasn’t always picture perfect with my husband but through the years, our sex life has really evolved into something mind blowing. I think a lot of it also has to do with the intimacy between us. Being able to be so simpatico with someone lifts the sexual experience to a whole other level.

    So, while my 30’s were pretty damn good, my 40’s have been rockin’ my socks off. I love this getting old shit. LOL

  6. At 35 I have found, for the first time, someone I’m truly comfortable with. Someone who I am 100 percent honest with and I trust more than anyone else in my life.

    The sex is bone numbing, mind blowingly fantastic. For the first time in my life I feel like a sexual creature, I feel desired and I can’t get enough of him!

    I think it’s more about finding that person, having that open communication and trust and a little less about age.

    With age comes experience, openness, and a sense of bravery that might be lacking in younger years…but without the right person to share that with, you’re still not having the total experience that sex can be when the chemistry is just right.

  7. At 17, I was very worried that sex wouldn’t get better until I read this!!! 😦 I know exactly how to please myself (amazingly) and I am so proud of that!!!! 😉 and I have had enough experience to think that I know how to please a guy.. and I am pretty sure I have succeeded in the pleasing a man area. But so far, a man hasn’t pleased me 100%!!!!! that is what I am so disappointed by.. and what I CANNOT wait to do when I’m older… finding a soulmate! I’m putting off sex until I do find my soulmate 🙂 this made me happy to read and gave me more to look forward to as I begin to age 🙂 A BIG thank you to you.

  8. Mixed emotions for me on the comments.

    Elated that there is a 19 year old virgin in the world. Good for you girl. Good for you.

    Saddened that there is a 17 year old who has had “enough experience” to please a man at her age. Trust me, dollbaby…at 17, you have NO CLUE what you’re doing just yet. There is so much more to your body than you can ever realize at that age. And, until you have been deeply in love…and I am talking “soulmate” in love…you don’t know what good sex is. Please hold out for that person. The gift of you is too precious to just give away at your tender age.

  9. BRAVO CP… can I be you when I grow up?!

    Seriously, nicely put. I think, personally, whenever you are intimate with someone you give a little bit of your soul to that person. And it leaves a mark, good or bad, and changes you.

    One should be very careful what kinds of marks they are leaving on themselves. Why give something like that to just anyone?

    At 35, after the life experiences I’ve had, the mistakes I’ve made, I know now what kind of man I want to be with and what I need from the experience.

    At 17, or 20, or even 25… I was clueless. What I thought I knew could fit in a thimble. I had no idea the depth I could feel for another person or what kind of sexual creature I was deep down.

    It takes experience, maturity and just the right person to help you find out I think.

  10. Im 40 and my husband is 28.Yes im a cougar and no it has NOTHING to do with self esteem.We met… fell in love and married.Age was and never is a factor for us.Sex with him is the absolute best ive had so far.We are so in tune with one another that if i get a headache he is sure to have one later or the next day.

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