Ask CBG

I recently went on Twitter and asked my peeps to ask me whatever they wanted to. Needless to say, the result was quite entertaining. So, without further adu, here is something that might turn into a monthly feature: Ask CBG!

Wow…quite the way to kick things off. Alright, I was an only child until I was five when my parents adopted my younger sister. We’ve never really gotten along and she’s got a ton of problems all her own. In addition, when my sister had her first child at 16 years old, she was rebellious and threatening to run away from home and blah blah blah. So my parents took legal custody of her son until she was prepared to be a REAL mother. Well, 15 years have passed and she never tried to get custody of him…so my nephew is legally my little brother. So short story long, I’ve got two younger siblings.

EXCELLENT question, shamrox. It’s one I’ve put a TON of thought into. I mean, you need your Yukon to start, right? So here’s your answer:

I have no frickin’ clue.

Thanks for asking!

Please…this one’s SIMPLE.  I’d totally last a LONG time.  Why?  Because I, my dear, have a plan!!!

Well… we own hockey, not to mention we have Tim Hortons, the Trailer Park Boys, Michael J Fox, Mantracker, Will Arnett, the Tragically Hip, Jim Carrey, Michael Bublé, Alexander Graham Bell (y’know…that whole “invent the telephone” thing), Leonard Cohen, Bret Hart, Neil Young, Rachel McAdams, Barenaked Ladies, GOOD beer, and an extremely low crime rate (Canadians are 300% less likely to be murdered than Americans).

Yes it’s true that we also have Nickelback and Celine Dion, but we’ve already apologized for them.

So…Mr. Greedy decided he needed two questions in the same @ reply, eh?  Fine.

Babies come from my ex’s.  Child support comes from me.  It’s that whole “symbiotic relationship” thing.

A woodchuck couldn’t chuck ANY wood because Chuck Norris can’t be chucked by a woodchuck.  Jeez…

I’m a very fussy eater, as Sunshine is all too eager to agree with. But here’s the thing: I just don’t like fruits & vegetables. There…the end. It’s really quite simple. I enjoy some veggies like carrots and potatoes and mushrooms, but I dislike 95% of all fruits & veggies. Having said that, the ones I truly hate are tomatoes and green peppers. HATE ’em.

Back in 1981, my parents took me to Hong Kong (long story). I was only 9 at the time and couldn’t really appreciate what I was eating, but I ended up having chicken feet. I remember liking it and I think I’d give it a try again (why not?). But really…that has been about as unusual as I’ve ever eaten.

Fair question. I’d totally take the false teeth. I mean, I could still see with my one good eye but I wouldn’t be able to chew my damn food without any teeth. AMIRIGHT??

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Rachel Ray started using it on Oprah a couple of years ago and it just took off from there. She’s big on feline…got a ton of pretty sweet recipes in her book, “Rachel Ray’s 30-Minute Pussy“.

Heh…wouldn’t YOU like to know? Wait…that’s why you asked, right? Umm…I’m only average in size, but I make up for it in width.

SHOES, of course.

Well…any position involving you, of course!

~~~~~~~~~~

Well, that’s it for this episode of Ask CBG.  I would LOVE to make this a regular post, so if you’ve got any questions please fire away!!

Until next time…

12 thoughts on “Ask CBG

  1. Excellent answers! Very interesting. I know so much more about you now. I will not be sending you the fruit and vegetable club of the month for your birthday.:)

  2. Great post! Your parents clearly love and value children, thanks for sharing that with your readers! As for “skinning a cat”, it is an old phrase that can be traced back to Mark Twain and earlier.

  3. I love the Q & A too CaNook. I sort of love it so much I may have to steal it. And not give you credit. Maybe. We’ll see.
    😉

  4. Pippi — Probably a good idea.

    Mindy — I’m definitely going to be doing this again.

    batticus — “Skinning a cat” is from Mark Twain? Meh…I like my answer better.

    QTMama — Heh…I’ll keep that in mind when reviewing your blog going forward.

    jolene — You can tweet me a question ANY time you want.

    bubblewench — I won’t hold my breath, but I’d love for you to ask a question.:-)

    Sunshine — Heh…only YOU know the truth, baby.

  5. I am just plain Twitter-Tarded. Plus I’m not near a computer all day long so I don’t bother with it. No cell service where I work either…ya… damn that’s the boonies.

    Can we just post a question here?

  6. Wow. This is funny! Now I’ll eat anything (yeah, I said it) but chicken feet?? Hmmmm…

    And Rachel Ray’s 30 minute Pussy made me spit out on my computer screen. Ya gotta give a girl a warning, ya know?

    Great stuff, CBG.

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