Not again…

I’m home at 3:30pm on a Monday afternoon because I couldn’t concentrate at work.  As soon as I got the phone call, my mind just couldn’t focus on invoices or purchase order numbers or whatever else I actually do in my little cubicle.

Brain cancer ribbonMom is back in the hospital.

My little brother called me first, telling me that my dad took mom to the hospital and that she’d be there for a couple of days.  When I tried probing him further for information, he said he didn’t know anything else (he’s 15…it’s not like he really wants to know).

So I immediately called dad, hoping that he was outside of the hospital long enough to accept a cellphone call.

It turns out he was.

He was grabbing a quick bite to eat and basically told me the story.  My brother had called him this morning and asked him to come home and look at mom because she was throwing up and not doing well at all. He tried sitting her up but she threw up then, too.

It was at that moment that my dad immediately knew she had to go to the hospital.

Back on New Year’s Eve 2007, we almost lost my mom because we didn’t recognize the signs of her brain tumor swelling against her brain. This time, dad knew exactly what was happening.

So right now, at this very moment, mom is sleeping on a gurney in the hallway of the Cumberland Regional Health Care Centre because there are no more rooms left.  She’s sleeping because the drugs she was given have pretty much knocked her out…not to mention prevented her from throwing up any more today.

I’m writing this while waiting for the CATscan results to come back. I’m not looking for sympathy or an “I’m so sorry” comment from anybody.  I’m just needing to write and express what’s going on inside my head, y’know?  The main reason I went into an emotional downward spiral last year was because I didn’t have anyone to talk to and tried to keep it all inside.

I’m not doing that again.

I’ll write more when I find out what’s going on.  My hope is that the swelling just came out of nowhere for some reason and, with some steroids, she’ll be back to herself in no time.  She’s a fighter.

The only problem with that scenario, however, is that she was given (practically) a clean bill of health back in April when the doctors saw her MRI and said that both the swelling and the tumor had shrunk significantly.

Just think happy thoughts for me, gang.  That’s all I ask.

My angel with a halo, 10-11-08

14 thoughts on “Not again…

  1. i’ll be spending my day thinking happy thoughts for you and your family.

    totally thinking happy thoughts like RIGHT NOW!!!

  2. My thoughts and prayers are with you, mom and entire family. It’s never easy having family ill, especially cancer related. Try to keep your head up.

  3. Sending you LOTS of good energy, love, healing vibes and positive thoughts, sweetie!!

    I can feel your fear from here.

    It will be ok.

    (((GIANT HUGS)))


  4. I’ve been in a very similar predicament, more than once. So, simply, if you need someone who can relate, I will listen. Sending you and your beautiful mom all the positive vibes I have in me.


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