As of May 20th, it has been one year since I started blogging.
Obviously, the blog you’re reading only started in January ’09…but I had a smaller blog elsewhere that I started a year ago. I switched for a variety of reasons…but the biggest was just wanting a fresh anonymous start.
No more real names…no more hiding emotions from friends…no more fear or holding back.
That first post was written when I was sick…both physically (bad cold) and mentally (although I didn’t know it at the time).
I’ve grown a tremendous amount since that day…and I guess I just wanted to re-post to show myself how I started and where I’ve come since.
And I’m also reminded of the fact that it’s soon going to be the one-year anniversary of my “experience”…the one that changed my life for the better and helped me to become the CBG that you know and read (but more on that another day).
So anyway, without further adu…
May 20th, 2008
Right or wrong…this begins my online blogging life.
It’s one of those things…I’m in a place in my life where I feel like I want to just talk, but here I am looking for something to say….searching for the right words.
I guess the point of this thing isn’t really to be cute or funny or unique or original, but to JUST BE. That’s what I plan on doing. I’ve got friends and acquaintances and all…but I feel like I’ve got very few good friends, especially since my separation. Might as well expose my feelings to the world, right?
I’ll be the first to say that I wasn’t the most excited guy in the world when I found out I would be a father again. It’s a horrible thing to say, but I was so used to being selfish and enjoying “my time” that I really didn’t think about anybody else.
Thank GOD for Ankle Biter.
One of the many good things to come out of the separation is my maturity when it comes to being a father. I realize I wasn’t the greatest dad in the world to The Rugrat…but I am thankful on a daily basis that she loves me unconditionally and really wants to see me. Whenever she visits from Ontario I do whatever I can to make-up for not really being there enough when she was a baby.
I know of situations where the kids travel to see their dad, but don’t REALLY want to see him. That’s what could have happened with The Rugrat if I hadn’t smartened up as she grew older.
And thankfully, that’s never going to happen with Ankle Biter. I’m totally fortunate to have the situation I have when it comes to visitation with my son. I see him almost every single day and I honestly couldn’t be any happier. He makes me smile every time I see him…and I cannot wait for him to grow older and, like his sister, actually want to hang out with the old man.
So there it is. Nothing too fancy, just honest.
I’m looking forward to another year of blogging. It’s been an incredibly freeing experience and it’s more, to me at least, than just putting words on the page and telling people what I did today.