It’s one of those topics that comes up in conversation from time to time. Whether at work or when you’re out with friends, talk of movies are usually a sticking point and a great conversation piece.
So I throw this out to you all to think about: What is the worst movie of all time?
It’s a tough choice, primarily because there are so many little independent movies that are sheer and utter crap that it would be impossible to truly narrow things down.
So let’s narrow down our choices to just mainstream movies, shall we?
Moviefone.com’s readers voted on this very topic recently and this was their top three picks:
1. Battlefield Earth. I really want to tell you all about this movie and how horrible it is, but I remember when it came out the reviews were so terrible that I decided it wasn’t worth seeing. As the years have gone by, it appears that Battlefield Earth has kinda drifted off into the background. But judging by the comments left about this movie, it left quite the impression on those poor folks who DID see it.
But seriously…how can you not love the thought of John Travolta as a dreadlock’d-alien with a bad attitude? Y’know, I think I want to see this movie just to say that I saw the “worst of the worst”. Like a bad car accident on the side of the road…you know you shouldn’t look at it, but you can’t help yourself.
2. Batman & Robin. Oh yeah…I’ll definitely agree that this one is a top three choice. The cod-pieces weren’t bad enough, no no no. You also had Arnold Schwarzenegger doing one of the worst acting performances of his entire career (and that’s saying something), Alicia Silverstone in a completely unnecessary role (“Batgirl” would work in the comics, but really…can you imagine that character in a movie like The Dark Knight?), and the normally amazing Uma Thurman (I’ve got a small crush on her) in a role where the over-acting is only matched by the horrendous dialogue. Oh…and don’t forget that George Clooney was completely out of his element as Batman. The only bright spot, Chris O’Donnell as Robin, was mired down in cheesy dialogue and playing a role designed for somebody a LOT younger than him. Add to all of this the horrendous directing job by Joel Schumacher and you’ve definitely got one of the worst movies of all time. Without question.
3. Eyes Wide Shut. This was actually my number one worst movie for many years. I wish I could adequately describe just how horrific this piece of shit really is. Let me try: it’s a director’s masturbatory wet dream come to life in the worst way imaginable. I’m sure Kubrick thought that he was making a sexy masterpiece, but instead made garbage…period. And still to this day, that f*cking ONE PIANO NOTE haunts me. There was no real storyline, no real dialogue, and no real point to anything that happened in this movie. Pure drivel.
So that’s the top three as voted by readers. For me, though, there are definitely a couple others I’d like to throw into the mix…
The Love Guru. I don’t care what ANYBODY says. This was a horrible movie. Terrible. Atrocious. Ridiculous. Pathetic. It was everything a comedy shouldn’t be. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I didn’t laugh during this groan-fest. I’ve seen bad movies in my time, but I just don’t think I can adequately compare any of them with the physical nausea that this movie caused me. I threw up in my mouth a little bit just thinking about this movie right now.
Just plain f*cking bad.
Showgirls. I don’t understand how any list of “worst movies ever” couldn’t include this….thing. I mean, I’m all about seeing naked beautiful women…who isn’t? But for as beautiful as Elizabeth Berkley was in this movie, just the sex scene in the pool alone was more than enough to make this movie a laughingstock. Seriously, how could ANYBODY have sex when you’re flopping around in the water like a fish at the end of a hook? Of course, she did the same thing while flopping around doing a lap dance. And the acting?? Please…there’s a reason you’ve seen next to nothing of Elizabeth in the past ten years. She wasn’t that great on Saved By The Bell, anyway…
So what about you? What movies make you cringe? Any more to add to the list?
