So I went on a lunch meeting with my boss on Wednesday. It was basically going to be a get-together to discuss plans for 2013. Even though I just started back in September, my roles and responsibilities have changed dramatically since then.
Tag Archives: work
When last you visited the blog, I was practically beaming with excitement about something I couldn’t really discuss on the off-chance that things fell through.
Well…things fell through.
I didn’t get the job that I wanted, even after a second interview. The hunt continues.
I took it pretty hard, though. It’s been tough…living in an economy where jobs are scarce and the workforce is filled with people equally or more qualified than you. I haven’t received very many requests for interviews at this point, which is why I was all over this other job because it really seemed like something I would thrive doing. It’s not only a blow to the ego to not get called for interviews, but it’s scary because you wonder what is going to happen over the next couple of months when so much is going on.
The good thing is that this past weekend was spent with Sunshine and our kids (minus Rugrat, who we’re hoping to fly down next month). My dad drove two hours on Friday to pick up the girls and bring them back to his place, and I brought my son down after finishing work. The kids had a great weekend and I was pretty much smiling from ear to ear the entire time. Why? I’ve finally become “that dad”…the guy who not only loves watching his kids and future step-kids getting along, but also loves being a father to them. I just smiled repeatedly because I could step back and see just how awesome our blended family has become.
And what’s better is that this work week has flown by and I’m getting set to see Sunshine again tomorrow night for the weekend (I’m 90% sure it’s going to happen, anyway). I’ve seen her a lot over the past couple of weeks and it has only gone to make me want to move in with her even more. I’m actually getting a bit anxious over it all.
So with multiple drives back and forth to Sunshine’s city, work, family, and all that other stuff that people get caught up in…I’ve been lacking on my blog posts lately. I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things soon, though. Writing is pretty much the only thing that keeps me sane!
Well…that and my AWESOME blended family!!
I went through a pretty tough period late last year. I went through a depression that I really wasn’t sure I’d get out of, but with some perseverance and some hard work I did. In fact, the past two months have been two of the greatest months I can remember ever having.
Yesterday, though, was a pretty bad day. Not just a “bad day”, though…but a day where I felt as though I took a major step backwards when it came to my mental state.
It’s a combination of two different things: money and work.
The money issue isn’t anything new. I’ve never been that great with money and I’ve never made much…so that’s a pretty bad combination. Every time I’m about to catch-up on things, things happen and I end up floundering and behind on bills and such. I hate living paycheck-to-paycheck. The only time I haven’t lived like that in the past ten years was when I was living with my ex-wife. In fact, my bills were all caught up when we split…and it’s been an uphill battle ever since.
I’m barely scratching by right now, and that’s tough enough. The thing that set me off was the realization that I wouldn’t be able to do what I wanted to for Sunshine on her birthday in a couple of weeks. She’s already so giving and carries a lot of the financial weight in our long-distance relationship, I just wanted to do something great for her on a special day. As it turns out, it’s not looking like that’s going to happen.
Sunshine, being as amazing as she is, offered to “postpone” the birthday celebration. How amazing is that? Unfortunately, that made me feel even worse about the situation. I mean…how pathetic am I?
Then Sunshine sent me a copy of my resume after it had been looked over (thoroughly) by an HR friend of hers. The only thing her friend didn’t critique on the resume was my name. And I’m all about constructive criticism…I mean, I’m all about self-improvement.
The issue was that I looked at my resume and realized just how pathetic it looked. I’ve been working “meh” jobs over the past ten years or so, and it’s almost embarrassing for an almost 40-year-old to have a resume like that. And here was Sunshine’s friend wanting me to give an idea of what I wanted to do for a career and how much I expected to be paid. Hell…I don’t think I’m worth getting paid what I’m getting paid now, and I’m barely surviving on what I’m paid now.
So now I feel completely inadequate and insecure on a number of levels. I’m not sure what to do…I feel a bit helpless; like I’m in a canoe without a paddle or a direction.
Disappointment and self-confidence issues…thy name is CBG.
From the moment I woke up I had a feeling that it would be a good day. I woke up tired and listless…wanting to go back to sleep for just another 30 minutes (or 3 hours) even though I had gotten a good night’s sleep. Well…I slept. It’s hard to say whether or not it was actually “good” sleep, though. I usually have a few bad evenings after a great weekend with Sunshine, so maybe my sleep isn’t as sound as I think it is.
Then I got to work and immediately was hit with emails and instant messages. I mean, I barely sat down when I got a phone call asking me to immediately recollect an issue that was sent to me via email one week ago. C’mon people…I have 10-20 items on my agenda every single day from all parts of the organization I work for…you really think I’m going to remember an email from a week ago just because you called me?
It was one issue after another…non-stop. People who would normally get a pleasant “I’ll get that done later today” response were getting “it’ll be tomorrow or Friday” instead. And what made it worse was that my answer wasn’t good enough. Their insignificant issues (in my world, anyway) somehow needed to take preference over MUCH more important situations taking place.
Then…near the end of the day…to top it all off…a conference call with multiple influential managers from around the U.S. somehow didn’t have the correct passcode. The worst part was that I was the one who set-up the conference call!
I was scrambling to find out if I had entered the wrong information. Then I couldn’t find the email confirming the conference call had been created. Then I started getting emails. Then I started getting instant messages. Then my phone started to ring. I began to have a panic attack.
Ten minutes after the call was to have begun, I got a message from one of the managers saying that I could use her passcode and to re-send the meeting info to everybody. I did. NOT THIRTY SECONDS LATER, she told me to not send out the invite because somebody else had set-up a new call and the managers were using it.
I felt like the biggest f*ck-up on the planet.
So I just stopped. I shut down. I almost walked out of the building just to clear my head. Instead, I just sat there and stared at my computer screen for a few minutes. The culmination of everything on this particular day had finally caught up to me.
Then I got a phone call at 5:20pm…ten minutes before I was to head out to pick up my son for the night. Sure enough, the call lasted 25 minutes and I was late to pick him up.
I tried to be positive…I really did. I tried to not let the day get to me and to instead seize the day. It just wasn’t mean to be, I guess.
Today will be different, though. Today will see me not only conquer obstacles but succeed in having a great day from beginning to end. I refuse to let the incidents of yesterday dictate how my life will go today.
I had a bad day again. We all do. It’s what we do the next day that helps to define us.
I’ve been in my new job now for about two months. The job itself is 50% boring and 50% really challenging. It’s a job where a lot of other people rely on me for accuracy so there’s a fair amount of pressure involved.
It’s a job that’s in a completely different part of the building that I’ve been working in for over three years now, so that’s been a major obstacle for me to overcome.
In my previous position, I was seen as a leader. I’m an extrovert by nature (shocking, I know) who knew what I was doing…a combination that got me noticed (although not always in a good way). But after being on the company’s United Way committee as a volunteer (my employer raised over $200,000 last year), being voted into the company’s Employee Forum (i.e. representing the concerns of over 1,100 employees to management) not once but twice, and also being asked to emcee two employee recognition events…I was well known within the building and (at the risk of sounding arrogant) pretty well-liked.
The people who I now work with don’t know me very well, so now I’m not only starting over from a job duty perspective, but I’m also starting over from a co-worker relationship standpoint…and that has been pretty tough so far.
I’ll get into more details on Monday, but I think I’ve finally gone from feeling like an outsider to feeling more welcomed by my new peers. I guess thus far I can say that the transition has been successful…and that’s a major relief.
I’m sure you’ve all been through this type of transition, either with a new position within a company or with a new employer all together. I normally feel a bit uncomfortable at first but try to let my personality win people over. While it’s been pretty uncomfortable at times, I’m just glad to be able to settle in a bit.