Tag Archives: relationships

Hurry Up And Wait

This past weekend was a 4-day holiday for me (gotta love working for American companies). Where Sunshine had to work, I spent lunch on both Friday and Monday with her. Each day we actually didn’t sit down for a meal, but instead we went outside for hour-long walks together.

On Monday’s walk, we had a discussion about my current job search and how it was going. The discussion was more me complaining and beginning to get frustrated with the whole process and her listening to me and trying to knock some sense into me.

Y’see, I only really started looking for a job about 2 1/2 weeks ago. I’ve sent my resume out to placement agencies and I have applied for about one or two jobs a day online. I’ve got five or six different websites that I visit on a daily basis while I scour my way through the junk in order to find something decent.  Here is what I’m finding, though…

There are obviously going to be jobs that I have zero qualifications for. Nurses, IT, teachers…all solid positions if that is the background and education that you have.

Most of the jobs that I’m qualified for are minimum wage positions or slightly better paying call center jobs. With my education and background, I’m not sure I need to be stocking shelves at the local grocery store just yet (but I would if I had to…I’m not “above” any job). I worked in a call center environment for over five years and, while thankful for the experience, couldn’t be happier to be at a point in my life where I don’t have to do that type of work anymore.

The other type of jobs that I’m seeing are all above my experience level: “Senior” business analysts, “senior” project managers, “senior” account managers…companies seem to be looking for others to simply walk into a role and immediately begin banging out results. Well, it’s frustrating to me because I know I could do a lot of those roles with a bit more experience…but how to you get that experience when nobody is looking for a “junior” business analyst or “intermediate” account manager?

So it seems like the job prospects are “all or nothing” positions…either lower end or higher end of the pay scale. And that is extremely frustrating because I don’t see anything that is really at the level that I’m at. I suppose it’s because those people are happy to be working those jobs…as I am now, actually…so they don’t become available. I also suppose it’s because intermediate-level positions are normally hired and promoted from within a company to people who have been there for awhile and have worked their way up.

Sunshine reminded me, though, that it’s only been 2 1/2 weeks. She reminded me that job searches don’t normally end up with results in a day or two. I need to be patient and not get frustrated because I actually have a job of my own at the moment…there isn’t any real rush.

But the thing is that I believe there is a rush.

I want to be living with Sunshine and her girls. I want to try to start my new life in a new city. Knowing that we have a 90% shot at getting a place that looks like a fantastic beginner-apartment for the two of us as of August 1st makes me anxious and antsy to move.

So I told Sunshine last night that if we get the apartment, then I would take just about any job and sell my home in order to be with her. I figure I could continue my job search while I’m in her city…maybe it would be easier if I was actually there. But at least I’d be working and we’d be together and my nights could stop being so damn lonely.

I’m trying to be patient, but it’s totally a “hurry-up-and-wait” situation right now…and I’m not usually good with those.

Wish me luck, kids.


30 Days of Truth – Something You Have To Forgive Someone For

This one is actually going to be quite easy: I forgive my dad.

And it’s not even a thing, necessarily, that I need to forgive him for. I mean, he hasn’t technically done anything wrong…it’s just that I was mad at him and it was on me, not on him.

Here’s the deal…as you may know, dad didn’t waste a lot of time last year moving on with his life after mom died. I initially tried telling the world that I was okay with everything as long as my dad was happy, but I think I was trying to convince myself more than anything else.

After going through my depression, I realized that yes…in fact, I was upset with dad. I wasn’t just upset, I was downright angry.  I mean, how dare he move on with his life? How dare he not grieve longer or in a different way? And how in the world could he not only date someone, but rush her into living with him and then getting engaged all in a matter of months?

Well…I know now that my anger was not only justified, it was to be expected. Just as he is allowed to move on with his life in any way he sees fit, I’m allowed to react to that life in any way that I see fit.

I never got mad at him or let him know how I felt, because I’m still under the thought process that these feelings are mine to deal with. He hasn’t done anything specifically towards me to make me feel a certain way, rather this is just my gut reaction to the speed in which he was moving forward.

So dad, I forgive you. I honestly don’t know if I could ever move forward so quickly after such a life-changing experience, but I know that you didn’t do anything to intentionally hurt anyone or even to desecrate mom’s memory.

I also know that it’s probably more about me forgiving myself for getting mad to begin with, but I feel it’s important to write this down so it’s out there. 


5 Reasons Why Valentine’s Day Can Suck It

Hey gang! My latest post for Parent Society is up, so please feel free to click your way over to the site and leave a comment with your own thoughts on the subject!

5 Reasons Why Valentine’s Day Can Suck It

Parent Society  -  Suck It Valentines Day


Why Chris Brown Still Sucks

The Twitter-sphere was alive and well last night during the Grammys. I don’t normally watch award shows but I felt compelled last night to see what the music world’s reaction to Whitney Houston’s death would be.

Instead, I was treated to a Chris Brown performance within the first hour. Then again in the third.

The hatred then started and didn’t really stop all night. Tweet after tweet about how much people hated Chris Brown…about how a woman beater was performing at the Grammys…about the nerve of the people who actually gave his Q-Bert inspired performance a standing ovation.

I didn’t sit idly by. I was fairly vocal about my disdain for Brown performing at such a prestigious event.

So the question really is: Why can’t we just let it go? Hasn’t Brown already apologized? Hasn’t he completed rehab? Why all the hate? My answer to that is simple:

He’s a douchebag.

The guy’s apology was half-hearted and absolutely appeared to be nothing more than a PR move. He didn’t sound sincere in the slightest and appeared more upset that he had to “keep doing it” when repeatedly asked about it.

If he had only come right out sooner afterwards and said, point blank, I totally fucked up and I’m so very sorry…then publicly donated money to battered women’s charities…then did some public service where he spoke to high schools speaking out against men who abuse women…then, perhaps, this wouldn’t be haunting him around years later and get to the point where he won’t even walk do interviews on the red carpet at the Grammys for fear of “more Rihanna questions”.

But he didn’t. Instead, he threw fits on the set of the Today show and constantly complained about being asked about the incident over and over…openly wishing it would “just go away”.

Why stay mad at the guy?  Here’s one more reason…

A simple brush-off apology for the above abuse isn’t good enough to the general population. It may be good enough to sell a few albums and even win a Grammy last night, but the hatred and the incident will follow him around for the rest of his life…simply because he couldn’t provide a heartfelt apology that the world could hear.

Want to see something that’s just plain SCARY??  Check out these insane reactions to Brown’s performances last night. Seriously…these comments take women’s rights back about 100+ years.

So while Brown sits back and thinks he’s finally made it back to the mainstream, I would rather provide you with some abuse statistics to read through instead.  Y’know…it just seems more important:

  • Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
  • Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  • Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
  • Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
  • Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
  • Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
  • Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
  • The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
  • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

I Was Drunk On My Wedding Day

Hey gang! My latest post for Parent Society is up, so please feel free to click your way over to the site and leave a comment with your own thoughts on the subject!

I Was Drunk on My Wedding Day


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