When I made the decision to propose to Sunshine, I had already told myself that I would be moving to her city. I had a plan all worked out with my ex-wife and my son and they were both on board. Sure, a lot of things still need to be taken care of on my end of things (primarily the selling of the house), but all of that was going to wait until one thing was done first.
Finding a new job.
I’ve been gainfully employed for the past five years with the same company. It has never been the best-paying job, but the benefits are awesome and it is a very large global company, so the ability to continue working there until I wanted to retire was a very valid option. The decision to leave the job wasn’t an easy one, but it was one that absolutely needed to be made in order for me and Sunshine to be together.
I pretty much had to make my resume from scratch as I lost my saved one on my previous computer (which died a few years ago). I honestly never thought about keeping it updated, which is something I plan on doing as I go forward because you just never know what is going to happen.
Sunshine has a friend who is a Human Resources Director, and she was kind enough to offer to go over my resume and provide some constructive criticism. Let me tell you…she went through that resume with a fine tooth comb. When I first got it back, I thought she had tore it to shreds…and immediately I began wondering what in the world I was going to do. What the heck was I thinking? I’m not good enough to find a decent job in another city; I can’t even write a decent resume!
So after a day of feeling sorry for myself, I took a couple of days to really go over her suggestions and do my best to update things the way they should be. Sure enough, once it was finished and she went over it again, she was really happy with the results. And I have to admit…I’m pretty happy, too. I turned a morale killer into a confidence booster!
At this point I’ve only been actively looking online for jobs since last Friday, but so far I’m pretty happy with how it has gone. I have applied for ten jobs (even a couple that seem to be a bit out of my reach, just in case others feel I’m worth taking a chance on) and I have sent my information in to about a half dozen placement agencies, of which I’ve heard back from two already to let me know they were going to look a bit further into my resume and see what they can do.
I’m still scared to death right now, but it’s not at the prospect of moving or living with Sunshine or even finding a new job. My fear is that once I do start working in a new place, I’m going to fail. The fear of failure is a constant with me and I just don’t want to find myself in a position where I’m overwhelmed or simply mess up.
I spoke with my friend T from Life As A Classroom yesterday afternoon because she’s currently in a similar position of looking for another job while still gainfully employed (i.e. which means there’s no rush, but there’s still pressure to not mess up and take the first things available). She told me that she has the exact same fears of failure but believes that we can find what it is that we’re looking for. She firmly believes that we will both find better jobs that will make us happy. Her rationale is that we’ve each found true love at this stage in our lives, so why should it be out of the question to find a great job, as well?
How right she is.
I turn 40 in September. I never thought that I would be making such huge life changes at this stage in my life…but I am. And while I’m nervous and anxious and scared and excited, the bottom line is that this is simply another chapter in my life. I need to embrace it and make the most out of the experience.
I’ll be working someplace new soon enough. My life has earned this new opportunity to be happy.