Y’know, one of the biggest changes that I’ve gone through over the past year has been my attitude. At 36 years old I’ve finally realized that positivity breeds positivity.
After reaching the depths of personal dispair and feeling as though I was at rock bottom (something I’ll finally blog about as the one-year “anniversary” of the incident approaches), my outlook on life has helped to change the life that I lead.
How many times have you heard people complain or grumble about Mondays? Personally, as much as I love weekends, I never have a problem going back in to work on a Monday.
There is something about getting up at 6am, having a long shower, and going outside to a cool crisp 10 degrees (50 degrees fahrenheit). Breathing in the morning air…cranking up a tune in the car on the drive into work…I just can’t complain about anything in my life right now.
And I realize that it’s not normal for a blogger. I mean, most of us turned to blogging as a way to deal with our every day issues…let the world know of our turmoil and anger and pain and stress when the “real world” wouldn’t listen to us. I still feel it’s certainly a form of online therapy and a valid one at that…especially if you’re lucky enough to build-up a network of people that you can share things with.
My life is FAR from perfect. But for me…right now in this moment…I just see too many positives in life to be upset or depressed or angry or sad.
I’ve got a woman who loves me.
Honestly…how can one be depressed when you truly feel like you’re in a mutual loving relationship? Sunshine means the world to me. And at the risk of sounding like a broken record, what she has brought into my life is something I don’t know if I can fully quantify or put into the words that I’d love to be able to write down.
Simply put, she is happiness defined.
I’ve got two amazing kids.
No, I don’t get to see them nearly as often as I’d like (especially the Rugrat)…but my kids love me and both are amazing children in their own unique ways.
Ankle Biter surprises me on a daily basis. Just today I was told by The Ex that she heard him humming a song this morning as they got ready to go to the babysitter’s. She was thinking, “Aww…how nice. He’s singing.” As she got in the car and started to drive, she became mortified (I think…lol) to realize that he was humming the theme song from Star Wars!!! I cannot even begin to pretend that my smile wasn’t a mile wide when she told me that story tonight.
And my daughter? She’s still going through a tough time (adolescence ain’t easy) but she’s got an incredibly unique imagination that I love and she recently told me that she wants to try track-n-field. This is from a girl who is already 5 feet tall at age 10 and didn’t want to do ANY sports. I’m hoping that she feels comfortable enough in her own skin to have fun doing it…whether she wins or not in whatever she does.
I’ve got a pretty okay job.
It’s not a $50,000/year swanky position or anything, but it’s a job I really enjoy. And for the first time since my DJ years, I’m doing a job that I don’t really want to run away from. I would love to be promoted, but it’s not the end-all-to-be-all right now. I’m just happy to be able to enjoy going to work every day. And because I know that doesn’t happen to many people on a daily basis, I embrace it.
I’ve made some pretty good online friends.
Sometimes, it’s so much easier to speak to somebody online than in person. And the great thing about blogging is that you’re immediately accepted into the “blogosphere”…and as long as your participate and join in the festivities, then you can readily create relationships that can spill out into the “real world”. I’ve got my own “Blogger Bingo” card, where you list all of the bloggers that you’d like to meet in person somebody and (hopefully) you can begin marking them off. At a time in my life where connections mean the world to me, the ones I’ve made online mean a LOT.
I’m a good person.
This is something I probably couldn’t have said with any degree of certainly just one year ago. And honestly, it’s taken a LOT of work to be able to look in the mirror and like myself.
But y’know what? I’m different now. My personality is shining through. There aren’t any dark clouds hovering over me. I’m kind…I’m fun…I’m loving. I’m all the things The Ex thought I could be but never allowed me to be. I’m all the things I’ve ever wanted to be but was afraid to become.
I’m me…and every day lately seems to be a good day because of it.
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So do me a favor…take just a minute today to look at yourself and the immediate world around you. Just 60 seconds. It doesn’t matter if you’re having the best day or the worst. Just take those 60 seconds and try to think of ONLY POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR LIFE.
Trust me…you’ll feel a lot better for doing it.
