The losing of Jim “Depot Dad” Everson is still weighing on me. It’s weighing on me not just because he was a “blogger friend”, but because of a couple of other reasons. First is my mom. She’s going through radiation and chemotherapy right now to battle the tumors that are tearing her body apart…and that’s a really tough thing to deal with. Cancer sucks…without question. And as one grows older, I doubt there is anybody out there that hasn’t had their family or friends affected by cancer at some point. I’ve lost friends…I’ve lost family members…and now this thing with my mom and Jim is just giving me a sinking feeling in my stomach. But the really big weight I’m feeling is guilt.
Well…awhile back Jim’s friend Rachel “Single Mom Seeking” Sarah asked some of her and Jim’s mutual friends via Facebook to send something to Jim to pick up his spirits a little bit. I made a home-made cd of Canadian music and bought a KISS card that played “Rock’n'roll all nite” when you opened it up. I got a message from Jim shortly after he received it:
I want to especially thank you for your card and letter. I know this is a sucky time for you too. Cancer is the king of suck. There is no other way to put it.
Please feel free to call me any time.
I copied your cd to my iTunes but haven’t listened to it yet. So are you telling me all of those musicians are from Canada?
Best wishes to you and your mother,
No…I didn’t call him. And that, more than anything else, is REALLY bothering me. It’s been tough to go through this cancer thing with my mom for the third time. Sunshine’s been great and I feel like she’s my confidant, but outside of her I just don’t feel overly comfortable talking about it.
So that’s the excuse I gave myself for not calling Jim and just talking….shooting the breeze, as it were. Why didn’t I call him? Why didn’t I take him up on a very generous and friendly offer when I had the opportunity? Now…I’ll never get that chance.
I’m sorry, Jim.