Tag Archives: depression

May 11, 2011

Not Myself Lately

Sunshine noticed it first.

She sent me an email yesterday asking if anything was wrong. I hadn’t really been my normal self on the phone lately and I wasn’t blogging nearly as much as I normally did, so she was a little concerned.

I hadn’t really thought about it much until she mentioned it. But then, because I have an innate need to search within myself for answers, I then spent the rest of the day trying to come up with reasons why I wasn’t myself.

Admittedly, I’m not myself lately. I’m just completely unmotivated to do anything once I’m alone. I sit and stare at the computer or the television…completely oblivious to the world around me and unmotivated to do anything that could possibly make me feel better.

It’s weird…I couldn’t put a finger on one particular thing. I thought I’d be able to pin-point something…it’d be easier to fix that way. And while my mom’s death has been weighing on my mind lately (a lot, actually), I don’t think that’s the reason I’m feeling the way I’m feeling.

And even though I didn’t think I was doing too badly, Sunshine has recognized the beginnings of depression setting in with me and that makes her more concerned. Just the possibility that depression could sneak up on me without recognizing the symptoms myself is a bit unsettling.

I don’t know why I’m depressed, if that even is the situation. So at this point, I don’t know what I need to do in order to snap out of whatever it is that I’m in.

The first thing I’m doing, that I should have done YEARS ago, is mailing those divorce papers in to get finalized. It’s been over four years since my ex and I separated and it’s just ridiculous that neither one of us have pushed to get this done. It’s silly. So it’s getting done tomorrow. I don’t want to be married to anybody other than Sunshine…and thoughts of that can’t even enter my brain until we’re both officially divorced.

THEN we’ll see what happens next.

See? I’ve already got a smile on my face. Maybe I’ve found the solution to my problems, after all…

10 comments | tags: blogging, depression, divorce, long-distance relationship, love, marriage, relationships | posted in divorce, fears

February 11, 2011

A Day of Happiness (hopefully)

By Canadian Bald Guy

First, I’d like to really thank everybody for the kind well-wishes yesterday…via the blog, my Facebook account, and thru Twitter. I’ll always defend the importance and relevance of social media, but I’ll also always defend the personalization of social media…how absolute strangers from different parts of the world can bring one person such great joy and happiness during times of deep depression. I can’t tell you how much your messages meant to me and I’m going to try to respond to all of them individually over the weekend.

Which brings me to today.

Dad’s on his way to Halifax with his best friend (who also lost his wife some years ago to cancer) and they’re going to break the news to my mom. So instead of spending another day aimlessly staring at the walls and being depressed, I decided that I would do whatever I could to be as happy as possible. I fully believe that even in sad times, remaining happy is a very important thing…it’s therapeutic, in a way.

So I guess I need to explain the primary reason why I’m trying to be happy today: I’ve got a chance at winning a $1,000 diamond ring through a radio contest. In fact, I’m one of five finalists who will try to “propose” to a member of C103′s Breakfast Club…she will then pick her favorite and that person will win the ring.

The contest was basically to come up with most original and unique way of proposing to your significant other, with the final five being chosen to go on the air to “win” Mandy’s heart.

I came up with a social media proposal. It’s kinda complicated to explain but let me just say that it involves Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, a blog, and a password. I’ll try to explain things a bit better over the weekend in another post when (hopefully) I’ll have good news about the contest.

And if you’re actually up and awake early enough, I’ll be on sometime between 7:20am and 8:30am Atlantic time (6:20 EST, 5:20 CST). Just go to www.C103.com and click the “Listen Live” button in the upper right hand corner.

In the meantime, I found a couple of videos that put a smile on my face last night at a time when a smile was REALLY needed.

First, T sent me this via Facebook. I mean…I enjoy Howard Jones as much as the next guy but how could you NOT smile at this man’s hair in the video??

Second was a football video I saw. STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES! Listen…you don’t need to be a football fan to enjoy this video. I sat there stunned at some of the trick shots this guy made. Seriously…this is MUST SEE (and yes…I know it makes you go to YouTube directly. Trust me on this…it’s worth checking out).

Finally, this video…while probably very wrong in a lot of ways…made me laugh out loud. Here in Canada, our internet providers are fighting with the government over allowing people the chance to have unlimited internet service. There are download caps and usage caps all over the place.

On provider in particular, Rogers, has a screen that over-takes whatever website you’re at to let you know you’ve reached your maximum usage for the month and that you’ll be charged going forward.

Even though that’s the tip of the iceberg in terms of internet issues here in Canada…Hitler, apparently, has had similar issues: