Tag Archives: co-parenting

My First Parent Teacher

There are a lot of “firsts” over the course of a child’s lifetime that parents get to enjoy.  With my daughter living so far away from me, I missed out on many of those firsts. I’m sure as time goes on, some of these events won’t seem like such a big deal…but for right now, it was pretty special.

Last night I got to attend my first parent-teacher for my son, Ankle Biter.  I had spoken with his mom a couple of weeks ago and she seemed surprised that I wanted to go. She had initially thought to schedule a time where I had him for supper so she could go. I expressed my feelings on going, too, and she re-arranged the meeting.

I met up with her and Ankle Biter last night five minutes before our scheduled time with his teacher. Other than the first day, I hadn’t met his teacher before…but she seemed very nice.

She first wanted to let us know that AB’s personality is second-to-none. He’s very independent, without having the need to constantly ask questions or be around an adult in order to feel safe. When it’s recess, he’s not asking when is it time to come back inside. If there are other kids around, he’ll talk to them. If there are adults in the room, he’ll talk to them. He’s not shy (I wonder where he gets THAT from?). In addition, he’s also quite independent…so if he’s working at a table by himself, he’s perfectly fine.  The teacher explained that it was a really good blend of personality traits.

When he first was “tested” in the class, he could only recognize one capital letter out of the alphabet. She thought that he knew more, but he only came out and said one letter. Now he’s up to 18 and is retaining new information like a sponge. So she has been really impressed with his progression.

At this point, we explained to her that AB had to get tubes put into his ears a couple of years ago and that he has been in speech therapy for almost three years now.  The teacher lit up…her daughter had experienced the same thing and Ankle Biter’s progression and current communication ability made perfect sense to her now. She seemed to immediately see him in a different light and almost appeared to be MORE impressed with how far he has come.

She then explained that with this information, she’ll better know how to interact with Ankle Biter and maybe help him along just that much more. She gave us some websites to visit and said that they’re informational AND fun. Now we can both continue to help in his learning process and be interactive parents, which is something I’ve never done before and am really looking forward to.

The one real concern for the teacher was AB’s inability to hold a pen or pencil correctly…his fingers just had a difficult time grasping objects that small. We were asked to start making sure his markers and crayons at home were the “normal” sized ones and gave us a couple of exercises for him to do that should help eliminate the problem.

Finally, the kid just LOVES his Star Wars…and at this point, I actually became MORE proud of him (lol).  In the things he builds with blocks and lego to the pictures he draws of things that he’s thankful for (seriously), he’s all about stormtroopers and good guys vs bad guys. I quickly explained that it was my fault for introducing him to Star Wars at a pretty early age.  But then I looked over at Ankle Biter (sitting quietly on a chair waiting for us to finish our meeting) and gave him a thumbs-up and a big smile. He gave the same thing back to me, and that was icing on the cake of a great experience. 

Now I just need him to do this for the next 10 years or so until he graduates and it’ll all be good.


So much to talk about…so little time.

Normally I find myself having a difficult time trying to find topics to blog about. Today, though, I’ve got three separate topics that could each be a post…but I think I’ll combine them into one just because I need to get these ramblings out of my head!

1. My fantasy football team blew chunks this past weekend. Okay…that’s a bit harsh, but I was really disappointed in the stats from some of my players.  I mean, the Eagles have had no defense all year long but all of a sudden they shut down a potent Dallas offense??  Miles Austin (again) got horrible numbers.  Not only that, but all of my running backs totally under-performed this weekend.

Darren Sproles has been a great sleeper pick for me, but he had a rough time against the pitiful Rams (as did the entire Saints team, apparently). Ahmad Bradshaw had a difficult time against the woeful Dolphins.  And honestly…Bernard Scott performed as well as I expected for a one-week fill-in for Cedric Benson against a tough-against-the-run Seattle team.

Tom Brady…well, I don’t know what to say about Brady. It seems that ever since he cut his hair, his performance has gone downhill fast. He needs to pick it up and deliver like he did at the beginning of the season.

Thank goodness for my Detroit pick-up.  They did exactly what I hoped they would do while my Jets were on a bye. In fact, if it wasn’t for them this weekend wouldn’t have at least been as respectable as it ended up being.

4-4…yeesh.

2. I got to take my son out for Halloween. I wanted The Ex to bring Ankle Biter over my place so I could see him dressed-up for Halloween. Turns out that she wasn’t going to be able to get off work early enough to make it happen.  So she asked me if I wanted to come with them trick-or-treating.

I really wanted to see Ankle Biter and the thought of being with him on Halloween night seemed like fun. So I showed up just as he was dressed and ready to hit some houses. The Ex and I get along pretty decently 99% of the time, and this was a fun experience…watching him go from house to house and getting excited about the candy. Mind you, he was done after about 10 houses…but that was fine. I got to experience trick-or-treating with him and he really enjoyed having the both of us there.

I think this may become a tradition for the next few years…both parents taking him out for Halloween.  As long as we can continue to get along, this should be a regular event.

Oh…and Ankle Biter was Bumblebee for the night. He couldn’t have been more excited.

3. I’m participating in Movember this year.  I had thought about doing it in previous years, but didn’t know the reasons or rationale behind it all. After reading up on it (and after a suggestion by Sunshine), I decided to do it this year.

But I’m not just about growing a moustache, but also about the message behind it. I have joined “the movement” and will be donating my upper lip to the cause for 30 days. My Mo will spark conversations, and no doubt generate some laughs; all in the name of raising vital awareness and funds the battle against prostate cancer.

So why am I now so passionate about men’s health?

  • On average men live 4-5 years less than women
  • 1 in 7 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime
  • 25,500 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year in Canada

I invite you to support me by donating to me http://mobro.co/toddiscanadian

You can even go old school and write a cheque payable to “Movember Canada”, reference my name and Registration Number 1912536 and send it to: Movember Canada, 119 Spadina Avenue, PO Box 65, Toronto, ON M5T 2T2

All donations are tax deductible.

We only have a month to grow Mos and raise awareness and fund, so please come along for the ride. Funds raised will help make a tangible difference to the lives of others. Through the Movember Foundation and their men’s health partner, the Prostate Cancer Canada, Movember is funding world class awareness, research, educational and support programs which would otherwise not be possible.

For more details on how the funds raised from previous campaigns have been used and the impact Movember is having please click on the links below:

About Movember
Prostate Cancer Foundation research
Global Action Plan

Please donate here – http://mobro.co/toddiscanadian

Thank you in advance for helping me change the face of men’s health. Go the Mo!

Moustache Season. Now Open.
Obviously, I’ll update throughout the month with new pictures and I’d love to have you join me in my journey!


Who should take time off for a sick child?

I’ve got a new post up over at Hot Dads. I took an afternoon off from work to look after the Ankle Biter earlier this week and reactions from co-workers and some of you had me wondering…

Who should take time off for a sick child?

Hot Dads


H1N1 follow-up: YES or NO to vaccinations?

I’ve received a LOT of views and quite a few replies to my H1N1 post and I felt the need to follow-up, not just with replies but with some more information that I’ve found. I’m certainly no expert and I’m 100% open to all opinions on both sides of the “should I or shouldn’t I” coin…so please don’t take my opinions for anything other than what they are: just opinions.

If you want to take a look at the initial comments that I’m replying to, just go here.

Ashley — I don’t know if it’s accurate to compare the death totals of H1N1 vs. the normal flu because H1N1 has only recently been considered a “pandemic”, the strain that was discovered was only done so back in April, and we’re only now entering the flu season in North America.  All the studies are showing that the death rates for H1N1 are climbing on a month-by-month basis…so I don’t think we can compare until we’ve gone through a full-blown flu season. I could be off in that opinion, though.

Based upon the data out there, though, here are some numbers that I have found:

“Death rate extrapolations for USA for Flu: 63,729 per year, 5,310 per month, 1,225 per week, 174 per day, 7 per hour, 0 per minute, 0 per second. Note: this automatic extrapolation calculation uses the deaths statistic: 63,730 annual deaths for influenza and pneumonia (NVSR Sep 2001); estimated 20,000 deaths from flu (NIAID)”  – source

These numbers, though, are newer. And when they narrow it down, the numbers vary dramatically between “influenza” and “pneumonia”:

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Here are the latest H1N1 statistics that I could find:

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When people compare H1N1 death statistics to influenza death statistics, they’re normally accounting for all deaths which include pneumonia. As you can see from the statistics, it would appear as though the death rate from H1N1 is higher than the death rate from just the flu. I haven’t been able to find “100% accurate” numbers, though…and this probably accounts for much of the debate over death rates.

But really, if the initial numbers from 2001 of 20,000 deaths per year attributed to just flu vs. only 1,538 deaths in 2009 attributed to just H1N1 are accurate I can certainly understand the rationale. I’d wait, however, to make that comparison until at least a year has passed…and maybe even two…before you can accurately compare those types of numbers.

So when it comes to my final decision, the death rate is scary enough the way it is without having to compare it against previous annual influenza death rates.

Allison — I’ve never really been a flu-shot-taker, either…but like you I’ve struggled with this decision. I don’t have a problem with Ankle Biter getting the shot primarily because of explanations like this from WebMD senior medical writer Daniel DeNoon:

But flu itself causes serious problems, including GBS, in far more than two in a million cases. And since a large proportion of the population will get swine flu, the vaccine risk is far smaller than the disease risk.

In clinical trials, 10,000 to 15,000 children and adults have received various manufacturers’ brands of H1N1 swine flu vaccine. Nothing serious happened to any of them:

No vaccine is 100% safe for everyone. Approved vaccines — including the 2009 H1N1 swine flu vaccine — are calculated to be much, much less risky than the diseases they prevent. For example, out of every million people who get a flu shot, one or two will get a serious neurological reaction called Guillain-Barre syndrome (GBS).

But flu itself causes serious problems, including GBS, in far more than two in a million cases. And since a large proportion of the population will get swine flu, the vaccine risk is far smaller than the disease risk.

In clinical trials, 10,000 to 15,000 children and adults have received various manufacturers’ brands of H1N1 swine flu vaccine. Nothing serious happened to any of them”

T & Bobbi, I can understand those flat-out saying “no”.  That type of decision makes sense especially after reading something like this:

“The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has officially stated that there will be as many as 30,000 serious, potentially lethal adverse reactions to the novel H1N1 vaccine, while the FDA guidelines for the novel H1N1 vaccine only require that it work in 3 out of every 10 recipients.

The most disturbing assumption we were asked to accept dealt with the safety of the novel H1N1 vaccine. (The) CDC spokesperson explained that during the 1976 mass vaccination campaign, 1 in every 100,000 recipients of the vaccine developed Guillain Barre syndrome (GBS), a disorder in which the body’s immune system attacks the peripheral nervous system often leading to paralysis and death. There is no known cure for GBS.

In 1976, roughly 40 million Americans received the vaccine and some 4,000 developed GBS.”

Now if you look at other statistics, though, the numbers differ tremendously:

“GBS may be a rare side-effect of influenza vaccines, with an incidence of about one case per million vaccinations. There were indeed reports of GBS affecting about 500 people who had received swine flu immunizations in the 1976 U.S. outbreak of swine flu — 25 of which resulted in death from severe pulmonary complications, leading the government to end that immunization campaign. However, the role of the vaccine in these cases has remained unclear, partly because GBS had an unknown but very low incidence rate in the general population making it difficult to assess whether the vaccine was really increasing the risk for GBS. Later research have concluded to the absence of or to very small increase in the GBS risk due to the 1976 swine flu vaccine. Besides the GBS may not have been directly due to the vaccine but to a bacterial contamination of the vaccine that triggered GBS.”

So what do you believe? Where do you turn? These two references show pretty big differences in statistics. On top of that, the 60 Minutes segment I watched last Sunday brought up GBS and they said that an influenza vaccination had not brought on a case of GBS in the 30+ years since the initial 400 instances of 1976.

BAH!!  Too much information!!

Danielle — That’s my thought process, too. A co-worker just came back into the office yesterday after being out all week to take care of her two girls who caught H1N1 from school (they’re teenagers). She had just gotten over a nasty “normal” flu previously and her doctor told her that if she made it through the past week without developing more flu-like symptoms, then she wouldn’t need a shot and would seem to have developed an immune to it. Glad that you and your daughter are alright.

Martini Mom — And that’s the thought process Rugrat’s mom is taking with her, and it’s one I agree with. She doesn’t want to give our daughter the H1N1 shot and I back her decision, but we both reserve the right to change our minds. I wouldn’t have a problem with her decision either way…although with Rugrat turning 11 in January, she’s nearing the “high risk” category. Right decision or not, it’s what we’re doing.

Aaron — I’ve heard that this flu, even if it doesn’t kill you, will knock you flat on your ass. For that reason alone it might be worth taking the shot. I mean, that’s why people normally get flu shots to begin with, right?

Nicole — All of the information in the world cannot replace the “gut feeling” of a parent. I understand that feeling, although with every report that has a child dying really knaws at me and tells me it’s just the right thing to do. And not that I’m wanting to promote it one way or another, I found a Canadian article that did give reasons behind why this vaccine is safe. Here’s an exerpt:

“Because the vaccine contains 10 doses per vial, thimerosal is added to protect it. Thimerosal is ethyl mercury, not methyl mercury, and is excreted quickly from the body. It does not accumulate and is not considereda brain toxin, like methyl mercury.

Methyl mercury can accumulate in the environment and in fish, which represents the most common source of human exposure. The amount of thimerosal used in the influenza vaccine is very small and has not been shown to cause any harm.

Canada’s National Advisory Committee on Immunization (which includes recognized experts in the fields of paediatrics, infectious diseases, immunology, medical microbiology, internal medicine and public health) has reviewed the latest science and concluded, “there is no legitimate safety reason to avoid the use of thimerosal-containing products for children or older individuals.” The vaccines that Canadian children and adults receive are safe.”

Rose DesRochers — And that, my friend, is what scares me the most. NOT getting it and having my child come down with H1N1. I hope she’s feeling better very soon.

Brandi Faulkner — I guess your situation goes back to what Daniel Denoon said on WebMd with that quote above…the chance of getting complications from the vaccine are minimal in comparison to complications from actually contracting the disease. I’m glad your children are doing well.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is not enough solid evidence out there to help me make a decision explicitly one way or the other.

Let the debate continue…


H1N1 vaccination shot for the kids: Yes or No?

h1n1vaccineThat’s the question of the day, isn’t it?

It’s a question that’s becoming a water-cooler topic at work.  It’s been something that The Ex and I have discussed as it potentially affects our son.  It’s becoming more and more of a question mark every single day.  It’s something that’s affecting most parents and can be quite the stressful issue:

So should my kids get an H1N1 vaccination shot?

With my 10-year-old daughter, I haven’t had the opportunity to discuss the issue with her mom.  I think she’ll most likely get the shot because she’s considered ‘high risk’ and it just seems to be the right thing to do.  Either way, I trust the judgment of her mom and her stepfather in making the decision.

The issue for me is with my 3-year-old son.

Ankle Biter gets sick a lot.  My feeling is that he’ll get the flu at least once over the upcoming season.  My primary concern isn’t whether or not he’ll get sick this winter.  My primary concern is whether or not this vaccination is the right thing to do.

I haven’t heard a whole lot of information on the research that went into making this vaccine.  I haven’t heard a whole lot about the testing that has been done to ensure the safety of this vaccine.  I haven’t heard much on the possible side effects that could come from a toddler getting this vaccination shot.

I haven’t heard about these things because the H1N1 vaccination has been rushed to production and rushed to a rabid public so hell-bent on getting a cure that they’d take shots of wheat-grass juice mixed with my piss if the government and the media told them it was safe.

I’m not a conspiracy theorist.  I’d like to think I’m more of a cautionary pre-planner.  I would simply like to know more about this vaccine before sticking it into my 3-year-old’s bloodstream.  I would simply like to know more before blindly walking into a situation where a medical company could be producing placebos that the government is buying up by the millions in the hopes of placating the public fears.

The Ex told me on Sunday that she decided Ankle Biter was getting the shot.

When she told me about her decision, she told me the reasons behind the decision.  She spoke to three local physicians…she spoke with her sister (who is a nurse)…she went to the Canadian government website…she did some research and came to a conclusion.  After our discussion, I didn’t really have much issue with it (other than not being consulted beforehand).

I watched the 60 Minutes segment on the H1N1 vaccine on Sunday night.  After watching it, I concluded that it’s a safe vaccine for my son and daughter to take.  But then the question arose that wasn’t really answered in the segment: Is this vaccine a cure?  Will this prevent one from contracting H1N1?

I guess it depends on who you ask, but this answer was about as diplomatic as I’ve been able to find:

In general, seasonal flu vaccines are 70 to 90 percent effective, according to Dr. David Tayloe, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Swine flu vaccine is made using the same procedure as the seasonal flu vaccine and that vaccination is the best way to guard against contracting H1N1.

However, it is too early to determine the effectiveness of the H1N1 vaccine. “We have not had the vaccine long enough to know how many of those immunized will develop immunity or how long they will be immune,” said Tayloe.

He stressed, however, that the swine flu vaccine is made using the same procedure as the seasonal flu vaccine and that vaccination is the best way to guard against contracting H1N1.

Sigh…

It almost seems that for as much as I read about this vaccine being a must-have, I read about it being a should-have.  I’ll go with the decision of The Ex and will probably end up getting it myself in a month or so (whenever it’s readily available to the general public).  But I’ll still admit to having doubts about the whole thing.

What about you?  What about your kids?  Are you giving your children the H1N1 vaccination shot?  Are you getting it yourself?  Is this all over-hyped media fervor?


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