Category Archives: relationships

November 5, 2012

Sleepless Weekends

By Canadian Bald Guy

Y’know, I was part of a long-distance relationship for three-and-a-half years. I’ve been sleeping alone for the majority of that time plus two-and-a-half years prior to that once I separated from my wife. It kinda sucked, but it was simply something I had gotten used to over the course of the last six years.

When I moved to live with Sunshine two months ago (it’s still hard to believe that I actually did that), I found that sleeping next to somebody on a nightly basis was the most comforting thing possible. I mean, it wasn’t just “comfortable”, it was “comforting”. It was like every night was the best sleep I’d ever had.

Now my long-distance relationship is with my son. We talk twice a week via video-chat (which seems to be working out extremely well, actually) and I’m visiting him every other weekend. It’s during these times, though, that I’m having the worst sleeps I can remember having.

I can’t fall asleep until midnight or later. I toss and I turn. I wake up repeatedly over the course of the night. I get up in the morning tired, sore, and achy. From top to bottom, it’s one horrible, sleepless weekend after another.

I certainly don’t want to sound like I’m complaining too much, though…I’d take sleepless nights in return for hanging with my son any day of the week. It’s just that I want to emphasize just how much I’ve adapted to living (and sleeping) in Sunshine’s city.

I was talking with my dad this weekend and we discussed how things were going with me so far. He asked me how I liked living in Sunshine’s city. I told him, point blank, that moving to be with her was the greatest decision I’ve ever made in my life.

Sleepless weekends be damned. This was the right move to make.

2 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in relationships

November 1, 2012

I Spent Halloween With My Fiance’s Ex-Husband

By Canadian Bald Guy

How’s THAT for an attention-grabbing headline?

It started a few weeks ago when the suggestion came up that I go trick-or-treating with Sunshine, the girls, AND their dad. I wasn’t too keen on the suggestion, primarily because I think the guy is a douche to Sunshine and it bothers me to no end. Hence, the whole thing would be extremely awkward and I wasn’t a big fan of the idea. 

Sunshine suggested that we ask the girls to see if they wanted me to go with them or not, which would then help confirm what I would end up doing. They wanted me to join them, so I couldn’t say “no” at that point and the decision was made to join in the trick-or-treating fun.

I was not really a happy camper. 

So last night came about and it hit me: I was going to be not only spending time with the douche but also spending time IN HIS HOUSE as Sunshine worked on the girls’ Halloween make-up. 

Sigh.

I thought about not going. I thought about waiting out in the car. I thought about finding any reason to NOT spend time in the guy’s house.

But I went.

I can’t really put a finger on what made me ultimately change my mind, but I think it was simply the fact that the girls didn’t know how I felt about their dad so why should I make them think something was up? This wasn’t about me, this was about THEM enjoying Halloween.

So once I got inside the house and on through the rest of the evening, I went about being the most charming and funny step-dad I could possibly be. The girls didn’t get the full CBG-charm, though…their dad did.

Yes, I was the best “bosom-buddy” that I could be. I made him laugh, I talked about tv series with him, and I even made an inappropriate anal sex joke to get a reaction out of him. All in all, it can be considered a major success.

In fact, when I was tucking the oldest into bed, she mentioned just how well we were getting along. She thought that maybe we could be friends.

Obviously, I didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth. But at the end of the day, I think I did a pretty darn good job of being a great “other dad” last night. It was awkward, but it could have been a LOT worse.

Now if only he could act that friendly and normal the rest of the time he deals with Sunshine…

4 comments   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Life, parenting, relationships

October 9, 2012

The Weekend That Wasn’t

By Canadian Bald Guy

I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to this past weekend…

Okay, let’s start with the fact that it was the Canadian Thanksgiving. A nice, three-day weekend for all of us to enjoy. In fact, I got off of work early on Friday and picked up the girls from school (a pretty cool step-dad thing to do). We then picked up Sunshine from work and head to Moncton to enjoy some time with Ankle Biter. 

We arrived in Moncton a bit early and were able to pick him up before supper. We all went to the grocery store and things started to go a bit…ummm…”off”. I immediately wanted to get in and out and quickly as possible. I was hungry, we had three hungry kids, and I know that sometimes grocery shopping with Sunshine can take a bit longer than I’d like.

I actually got frustrated at the checkout, which ended up being a sign of things to come for the rest of the weekend for both Sunshine and myself.

I don’t know why we find it so difficult to handle three kids. Heck, we actually had less issues with four children running around during the summer. For whatever reason, we both get stressed out when it comes to us and three kids at the same time.

Anyway, so we were set to go apple picking on Saturday morning. We ate our breakfast and head out for the 30-minute drive to the orchard. The weather forecasted it as being fairly nice for a fall day (15 degrees Celcius/59 degrees Fahrenheit), but with the wind blowing and the sun hiding behind some dark clouds, it ended up cold…REALLY cold.

We went to Belliveau Orchard and arrived around 10:30am. We went to grab a couple of bags from inside and the kids were pretty excited. The lady told us that they had wagon rides to another part of the orchard starting at 11am along with a corn field maze to enjoy. The kids thought that sounded like fun so we agreed to stand in line for the wagon ride.

Turns out that wasn’t a very good idea. It was freezing cold. Sunshine was miserable, the kids weren’t having fun, and the 30-minute wait felt like three hours. So we agreed that we’d just try the smaller orchard by the entrance just to pick SOMETHING and get out of there. But not before getting a picture of the kids first…

We were inside before 11am and explained that we were too cold to go on a wagon ride and not know when we could come back. The lady said that, unfortunately, the smaller orchard couldn’t be picked from when the wagons were going and that we HAD to go on them. 

We then left. Apple-less. Angry. Pissed off. We vowed never to go back there again. If the lady had told us about this option BEFORE we stood in line, we wouldn’t have stood in line. Turns out there ended up being a 2-hour wait for apples as the afternoon went on as they were only allowing certain numbers of people to pick at any given time…so I can only imagine how upset other people were.

Sunshine and I then got into an argument on the drive back to Moncton. We went to the Moncton Farmer’s Market and things started to look up a bit. The kids got some snacks and we then surprised them by taking them to see Hotel Transylvania. We all laughed and good times were had by all.

For supper, because we simply didn’t have the time to cook a turkey, we decided to have a Thanksgiving pizza instead. So I went out for pizza and didn’t get back for almost an hour because it was so bloody busy there. It was over-priced and I was grumpy and hungry when I finally got back home. Then the girls said that they weren’t overly impressed with the pizza, even though they were eating it.

Sigh.

At least we got a family photo op out of the meal…

We settled in to watch The Muppets as a family. It was two hours of laughter and singing and all seemed better. Then somehow Sunshine and I got our signals crossed again and were immediately back to “not getting along” mode. She went to bed alone and I stayed up watching television until 11pm before quietly making my way to bed.

NOT the way I wanted our day to end.

Sunday morning brought along the hugs and Sunshine and I should have given to each other the night before and all seemed right with the world. Ankle Biter was picked up by his mom at noon and the girls and I started our way back home to Halifax. We wanted to stop for McDonald’s milkshakes along the way but when we stopped in the town that had a McDonald’s, it wasn’t there anymore. Turns out they were re-building a new one from scratch. No problem, I thought…there is a McDonald’s in the Walmart.

No…they don’t serve milkshakes there.

We finally got milkshakes at Dairy Queen and, two hours later, were home after a very long weekend. The girls went back to their dad’s yesterday at noon and then Sunshine and I went about finally (!!) painting our new apartment. I was to build the large bookcase we purchased from JYSK a couple of weeks ago and she was going to start putting the paint to the walls.

Turns out that of the three boxes that made up the bookcase, one of them had a color that was completely different from the other two. That almost sent Sunshine over the top because the bookcase is a major focal-point of our living room. Thanks for nothin’, JYSK…

Upset but realizing there was nothing else we could do on a holiday Monday, she then began painting and I went outside to mow one last time for the season.

At this point the room is only half done. The bookcase remains unfinished. No apples were picked. The weekend REALLY didn’t go as we planned at all.

Thankfully, we were able to look at each other and laugh about things over supper. I mean, when absolutely nothing goes the way you want it to, what else can you do?

At least we have each other…and that’s all we really need.

3 comments   |  tags: , , , | posted in relationships

September 25, 2012

“I’m not gonna like your new girlfriend.”

By Canadian Bald Guy

I got an awesome “out of the blue” phone call from my daughter last night. It wasn’t anything more than a quick “Hi, how are you doing?” type of phone call. The type of phone call that I never would have had just three short years ago…when this post was originally written.

Y’see, my life has obviously changed dramatically over the past three years. Along with the relationship change is the improved relationship I’ve developed with my daughter, which makes me one happy father. In fact, she and I have even discussed her staying with this new blended family the entire summer in 2013!  So here is a glimpse of just how incredibly far my relationship with my daughter (and, in turn, Sunshine’s relationship with my daughter) has come.

It’s one more reason why I know I’ve made the right decision to move here with her…

**********

Rugrat & IMy daughter called me a couple of times yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. The conversations had been jovial and fun-spirited. In fact, her mom called me to say that The Rugrat had just gotten her first zit…on her nose…as a way to kinda embarass Rugrat a bit (in a fun way). So with the pleasantries going on, I thought it would be safe to discuss my relationship with Sunshine.

Y’see, I’ve never introduced anyone other than The Ex to Rugrat…I’ve always told myself that I didn’t want my kids to see adult relationships come and go as they got older. So the girlfriends I had before The Ex were never introduced to Rugrat.

Sunshine, obviously, is different.

Rugrat is expected to spend Christmas with me, so I thought telling her now would help prepare her for the meeting. I mean, Sunshine is going to be a staple in my life for a very long time so I thought it only made sense that Rugrat found out about her.

In fact, Rugrat’s mom had known about my relationship for months now (we’re casual friends on Facebook), but didn’t want to tell her because it wasn’t her place to do so. I respect that decision and I’m glad that I could be the one to tell her.

Well…I was glad, anyway.

I told Rugrat that I had a new girlfriend. She immediately got quiet. She then began to cry. I didn’t immediately understand why she was so upset.

“What about The Ex?”

“Honey, we’ve been apart for two and a half years.”

“But why? I didn’t know it was two and a half years.”

“Rugrat, we told you when it happened. You’ve flown down to visit me at least four times since and you’ve known all along that The Ex and I weren’t together anymore.”

“Is she still my stepmom?”

“Yes, baby. She’ll always be your stepmom and she’ll always love you. But I can’t be alone forever.”

“I don’t care. I’m only going to like The Ex. I’m not gonna like your new girlfriend.“

“Rugrat…what if The Ex is dating someone, too?”

“Then I won’t like her boyfriend, either.”

“Sweetie…you’re allowed to like everybody. You don’t have to choose. You can like both people.”

“No. I only like The Ex. I never even get to see her anymore. The last time I came to visit I only got to see her once and spent the rest of my time with you.”

“That’s because I’m your father, honey.”

The phone was then passed along to her mom, who inquired as to why Rugrat was so upset. I explained the conversation to her and then realized that maybe I didn’t approach things in the most tactful way.

“No…I don’t think she’s mad at you or the girlfriend. Two of her friends are moving away and she’s all upset and worried about this pimple. That might be what’s really bothering her.”

“I just don’t understand why she’s so upset now about The Ex. It’s not like she calls her or ever asks about her (she doesn’t). And we told her when it happened what was going on.”

“CBG, after you told her on the phone about the separation I ended up talking to her about things with her stepdad. Everything appeared to be fine and she said that she understood. I really think she’s upset about something else. Let me talk to her and I’ll get back to you.”

“Thanks. I really appreciate that.”

And that was last night. I was immediately shaken-up about the whole conversation. I really didn’t expect that reaction. I guess I understand it…she was pretty close to The Ex and does visit with her every time she visits. But I really just thought 2 1/2 years was enough time to pass by before introducing someone new in my life. I really didn’t think she’d be so closed to the thought of either myself or The Ex dating somebody new. It’s just something that never came up in our conversations.

So now I’m in an awkward state. I’m not sure what to say next to her. I’m not sure how to approach things…especially over the phone.

I’m just not sure what to do.

14 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , | posted in dating, love, parenting, relationships

August 8, 2012

Oh So Close…

By Canadian Bald Guy

There is just so much going on in my life right now. It has gotten to the point where I wake up dizzy at everything that’s going on. I’m on a rollercoaster ride that’s supposed to end soon, yet it just keeps going and going.

I helped Sunshine move into our new home last Tuesday. It was a scorching hot day, we had some friends help out, and we ended up with an apartment full of boxes and bags and no time for me to stick around to unpack. I got up at 5am the next morning and took off for my 2 1/2 hour drive back to my current residence (no longer my “home”). I felt terrible leaving her behind with the mess, but knew I’d be back in a few days for a long  3-day weekend.

On the work front, I haven’t received a phone call for an interview in over two weeks. I have gotten down to a final interview for a potentially great job but I haven’t heard from them on when they want to set it up (they contacted my references last week but I haven’t heard anything since). It’s becoming increasingly difficult to NOT be frustrated at the whole thing. I realize it’s a terrible time of the year to go out looking for work, but I’m not even hearing back on the jobs that I’m applying for (except for that one “Thanks but no thanks” email I got over the weekend).

My supervisor talked to me last week and asked me about when I was moving. I initially said that I couldn’t see myself being there after September 30th, but at this point I’m absolutely petrified that I won’t have a job by then…so I had to say December 31st just to cover myself.

Vacation starts on Friday at 5:30pm. I’m picking up my son and driving 2 1/2 hours to my new home with Sunshine. My daughter flies in on Saturday at 1pm. We’ll have four children (including Sunshine’s two awesome girls) and my Kia Forte for the entire week, which means that we’ll be looking at public transportation for most of our fun. It also means that we’ll probably be relegated to staying in the city for the entire week, which isn’t such a bad thing but it’d be nice to be able to visit my dad or go somewhere that we can all enjoy. Mini-vans are $100+ one-day rentals and practically non-existent at this time of the year, so needless to say we’re pretty much stuck with my small vehicle.

I’m so close to having everything fall into place…sooooo close…yet things seem just out of my grasp at this point. I feel like I’m treading water, and that feeling sucks.

I need to recognize the positivity of my situation, though. My daughter is flying in for a month. My home with Sunshine has a TON of potential. I’m GOING to get a job because I’m too much of an asset to NOT get a job. I’ve got four kids who think the world of me and a fiance who loves me like no other ever has or ever will. I’ve got a lot of goodness going on in my life.

I’m oh so close…but unfortunately, patience is just not one of my virtues.

2 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in relationships

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