Okay…let me first say a couple of things:
1. It’s the best birthday card ever from anybody other than Sunshine (love ya, baby!).
2. This is the first vlog I’ve done in well over a year, so forgive the crappy editing (i.e. NONE).
3. Forgive the lame ending. I’m an amateur at this.
4. I had nothing else to write today.
So after all that I give to you a quick little vlog about a birthday card that Ankle Biter picked out for me…
Thankfully, I’ve got a pretty decent relationship with my ex-wife…so when I told her that I really wanted to be there for Ankle Biter’s first day of kindergarten, she was more than accommodating.
I met up with her and AB at 8am, just as he was ready to head off to his first-ever day of school. To say that he was excited would be an understatement. He had been looking forward to this day since he was first given a tour of the school back in the spring and this day couldn’t come soon enough.
We had to take some photos (naturally!) of his first day of school outfit. The problem was that he wasn’t overly thrilled with the first outfit he had on, so he ended up getting changed with only 10 minutes to go before we had to leave. I think the decision was a good one, though…
Yeah...this was a good choice.
It was too funny as the ex and I were snapping away furiously with our cameras and Ankle Biter soaked it all in…smiling and posing for the both of us like he was a supermodel at a red carpet event.
He couldn’t wait to show off his new lunchbox to me. And I have to admit…I was pretty impressed with it. In fact, if I actually had one of these lunchboxes I would take it to work. Sadly, I’m quite serious. I mean, it’s a STAR WARS lunchbox…how cool is that??
I won't show you each one, but there were three pictures taken of Ankle Biter with his lunchbox, as there are different pictures on each side. This one, obviously, is the cool side. How awesome is it to be able to have lunch with Darth Vader? I'm totally jealous.
So we threw on his new hat and were finally ready to make our way to school.
I can't lie...I think the ex does a great job in picking out clothes for Ankle Biter. I'm lovin' that hat!!
The rain coming down outside may have dampened everything, but it certainly didn’t dampen Ankle Biter’s spirits on this morning. He almost ran up the hill to get to the school grounds.
"Yes...we're almost there, buddy."
We walked around to where the kindergarten area was (they have their own entrance). We were told to look for the big green door. We found it and both the ex and I were (still) snapping away furiously with our cameras…wanting to document each and every moment, no matter how small or insignificant.
"Guys...can I please go to class now??"
Finally inside, we found a spot for him to hang up his jacket before going into the classroom. We took pictures of him getting ready, but I really don’t think you need to see those. I mean, he was showing off his new white-soled sneakers and hanging up his jacket. We realized that we were starting to border on being pretty silly with the whole thing, but we didn’t care. We just wanted to document his first day in any way that we could.
We met his teacher and the few students that were there. Y’see, for kindergarten class they broke up the new students into smaller groups that returned on three separate days (Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday) with the thought process being that (1) the kids wouldn’t get overwhelmed and (2) the teachers could try to bond with the kids in a smaller setting before all of them appeared for an “official” first day on Friday.
Ankle Biter immediately went to a table with blocks and began to build. He seemed a bit shy with the other kids but I’m sure that will change over time. I was actually impressed with just how fast he was building things…
At this point, I'm sure he thought his parents were the strangest people in the world. I mean...they're just blocks!! What's with the pictures, people?
And so we left.
Because he wasn’t upset or sad, we didn’t get upset or sad. In fact, I don’t think he could wait for us (and our cameras) to go away so he could enjoy school for the first time (lol).
I was a proud papa yesterday. I’ve got one heckuva great kid and I was able to participate in an experience that I didn’t get to enjoy with my daughter…and I certainly didn’t want to take the moment for granted. This, to me, was a big deal…and I’m happy to say that I was able to enjoy it 100%.
Father & Son...first day of school: 09-08-11
I can’t really tell you just how excited I am at the moment knowing that in a little over 48 hours I’ll be picking up my daughter from the airport.
Yes, Rugrat is coming to visit me for four (count ‘em…FOUR) weeks!! Mind you, she’ll be spending at least one of those weeks with her grandmother (i.e. her mom’s mom), but the fact that she’ll be here for an extended visit has got me very excited AND a bit on the nervous side.
My daughter’s 12 going on 21. Where I’m not in her life on a regular basis, I’m not entirely aware of how she is being raised. I have an idea, obviously, but I know it’s not the way that I would raise her.
But I realize that I pretty much gave up the right to judge how she was going to be raised when I didn’t fight for her to not move away almost ten years ago. I’ve mentioned this before in the blog…I just wasn’t mature enough at the time to be the father that she needed. So between me honestly thinking it was a good move and also me selfishly wanting out of the responsibilities of being a father, I let her move away without a fight. With that decision I pretty much gave up the right to complain about her upbringing.
Rugrat & CBG: Summer 2010
So anyway…I’m nervous about her arrival. How will she act? Will she be respectful? Does she really want to visit me or does she just want to get away from her current home life?
And how will she get along with Ankle Biter, Sunshine, and her girls? Last summer had some tense moments where she really didn’t want to be part of our happy little family, and that sometimes caused tension not only with me but with Sunshine, too.
This time around the plan includes scheduling time for Rugrat to NOT be with us unless she wants to. We don’t want to force our happiness and family fun onto her if she doesn’t want it (y’know…the whole “I’m too old to have fun with the family” attitude). The hope is that she’ll enjoy time with us more if she’s not forced to be with us all the time.
12 going on 21
Anyway…she arrives on the 7th and doesn’t leave until the 1st, so there will be LOTS of time for me to “work my magic” and try to bond with her as much as possible…especially after next week’s vacation with Sunshine and her girls is over.
And I really want to bond with her, too. Sunshine has given me a few fun ideas that hopefully she’ll want to do with me (ex: making pizza from scratch, father/daughter movie night), so I’m really hoping that this trip will be her best yet even though the monetary situation isn’t quite what she may be expecting.
So yeah…my daughter. Here. Four weeks. With me.
I’m totally a happy dad right now. I can’t wait for Sunday to get here.
I wasn’t the best father to my daughter her when she was a baby.
Rugrat at 2 days old
First Halloween
I was in my 20′s, REALLY immature, and simply wasn’t ready for the massive responsibility of being a parent. I wouldn’t say I was a “deadbeat” in any way, but I certainly wasn’t the kind of father I should have been…which isn’t an excuse, it just is what it is. I can admit to that now.
It’s been quite the journey from my immature 20′s to my slightly dorky late 30′s. But if I can think of anything that I can attribute to my ex-wife is that she helped smarten me up when it came to how I was as a father. She didn’t want our son to grow up the same way my daughter did.
Brief history lesson…
Cute as a button!
I split with her mom when she was 9 months old. I moved to Newfoundland shortly thereafter for a solid year for work purposes…totally missing out on sooo much of her early development. It’s a shame, too…because she was (and still is!!) a gorgeous girl.
Once I came back I really tried to reconnect with Rugrat, but it was a very long road and I still wasn’t quite ready for the responsibility. I could never get her to fall asleep in her crib…she hated spending time with me (although she was so young, it was really hard to know for sure)…and I just never felt a closeness with her. At all.
Rugrat's first birthday
Like I said, I missed out on much of her early development…too much. Even as she got a bit older, when she stayed overnight with me on the weekends, she cried for her mom. Now I never took that too personally but I realized at the time that it was because I didn’t spend nearly enough time with her. And during the time that we WERE together, I wasn’t as interactive as I should have been.
CBG & Rugrat circa 2001
When she got sick, I didn’t know how to react or what to do. One night, in fact, she threw up in her bed. I ended up getting so rattled that I called her mom for help. She wasn’t there but HER mom was there. I acted like such a child that night…I just was so lost that I ended up taking Rugrat home because I didn’t know (nor really did I want to) how to deal with the situation.
This was a good day
I was a bad father. At least that’s how I feel about it now. Okay…maybe not “bad”, but certainly not a good father. I just had so much work to do in so many areas…but I was still interested in only myself and my own life. I treated her like a “side project” instead of the focus of all my love and attention.
It actually got to the point that when her mom asked me if she could take her a plane-ride away to Ontario so she could begin a new life with her boyfriend (i.e. her current husband), I didn’t put up the fight I really should have. That distance really affected our relationship in an adverse way.
I did try over time, though…and we began to form a bond over the years as she got older. It’s a bond that still isn’t nearly as strong as I would like it to be, but I’m doing what I can to make sure she knows I’m always here for her.
As she grows older, I hope she realizes that her little brother is what has helped me FINALLY “see the light” when it comes to being a parent. The multiple mistakes I made…the selfishness…the not being there enough…those are now lessons learned when it comes to Ankle Biter.
Rugrat & CBG: November 2008
As she grows older, I just hope we can talk about the mistakes I made…how I want to not only maintain a relationship but to make it as strong as possible.
I’m a much better father now…a much better man…but there’s always room for improvement. I’m very hopeful that she will give me the opportunity to grow with her as she grows older.
Rugrat & CBG: Summer 2010
Okay…I fully admit it. I’m going to be one of the “gush about everything great with their children” type of parent blogger. Sorry…it’s just my nature, I guess.
And hey…how many times can my son play a sport for the first time? Not too often…so believe me when I say that all day yesterday was spent getting excited to watch my son play organized soccer for the first time.
And I gotta tell you…this thing was definitely organized well. There had to be around 200 kids on two separate football fields all separated into teams of 10 or so. Maybe 100 kids. I don’t know…my estimation ability isn’t the greatest. Let’s just say there was a ton of kids and a ton of proud parents watching them.
Now the first night wasn’t actual competition. No, the first night was simply practice…passing the ball, kicking it around, trying to score on a goalie. It was a really well-paced first night. What’s interesting is that tomorrow he’ll end up having his first game…where the first 30 minutes is practice and then the second 30 minutes is a game against another team.
Alright…now I’ll try to be unbiased with my impression of his soccer ability…
I think the kid’s a natural. I know, I know…I sound like a typical parent. But here’s the thing: he’s small. In fact, he’s the tiniest one on the entire team (as you can see from the picture to the right…he’s #4). He makes up for his lack of height with speed and feet skills. Seriously…I shit you not. He was kicking like a pro…he was passing like a pro…he didn’t want to just haul off and kick the ball every single time; he wanted to play a finesse game.
Okay…I know that sounds ridiculous for a first practice. But I got to play a little “passing game” with him (I thought it was neat that the parents got to be involved) and I really was impressed with how he kicked the ball not with the point of his shoe, but with the side. He listened to the instructors and wasn’t just trying to kick the ball as hard as he could (have I mentioned that part already?). I was so impressed that I actually took pictures of the kid (an example of one is on the left) while passing the ball back and forth with him. I just couldn’t have been having more fun if I had tried.
And fast? Let me tell you…I walked him to a port-a-potty that was on the other side of the field. When he was finished, I said let’s run back so that he wouldn’t miss anything else. I thought that I could just do a brisk walk next to him and that would be fine. I mean…his tiny little legs take two steps to my one, right?
Well didn’t the little bugger start pulling away from me?? I had to break a sprint just to catch up to the kid!
And okay…he may need to brush-up on his break-away scoring ability, but I’m sure that will come with time…
I dunno…I was watching the other kids and trying to compare their skill level with Ankle Biter’s. One kid didn’t want to be there at all…at one point lying on the ground to stare at the clouds. Her dad kept trying to get her up to play with everybody else, but she didn’t want any of it. Another kid was the whiner…crying at the drop of a hat and pouting because he didn’t get his own way every single time. Another looked to be a bit of a bully…really wanting to do whatever he wanted to do.
But I really thought Ankle Biter’s skills were above average in comparison. Mind you, he hasn’t played a game yet and he’s only four…so maybe he’s not quite Pelé or Beckham at this stage in his athletic career.
I couldn’t have been any prouder, though. My cheeks hurt as I drove home because of all the smiling that I did.
It was a great night to be a dad.
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