Listen…I’ve got a ton of stories to tell and a ton of photos to upload, but Sunshine and I just got back late last night and I’m off to work first thing this morning, so the stories and pics will have to wait until the next few days (or longer, as I expect there will be a lot of blog posts about the vacation over the coming weeks).
So until at least tomorrow, all you’re going to get is a taste.
But really, the only picture that you all want to see is this one…
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yeah…read that title and let it soak in.
So for those keeping score, it was June when I mentioned that dad was now dating somebody. At the time I thought that four months after mom’s passing was a bit too soon to be jumping in to the dating world (especially after 40+ years of marriage), but I was okay with things because dad’s happiness came first.
So here it is only four months later and dad told me at lunch on Sunday that he had proposed and that she had accepted.
Wow.
I knew he was going to do it, though. He had told me a few weeks ago that he had planned to do it (hell…he told me two months ago that he was going to do it at Christmas), so the only surprise was that he did it last week instead of this week (it’s her birthday and that was his idea of a “great gift”).
So why the rush? I don’t know…I really don’t, but I have my theories.
They are both 65 so they feel like time is fleeting and thus don’t want to waste time that they may end up not having. They are both widowed and feel like since they get along really well and can relate on certain levels (i.e. talking about the other person’s spouse who has passed away) that this must be the “real thing”.
And dad, simply put, is trying to replace mom so he doesn’t have to feel pain anymore.
This is why I’m backing dad on the relationship. This is why I spent 30 minutes on Sunday trying to calm down my little brother, who was livid over the suggestion that they were getting married in the spring because, for him, getting married so soon was simply inappropriate. He was ready to punch out my dad at one point. I talked to him and then talked to my dad…and eventually they got together and hugged it out with tears. My dad is now going to wait to get married until either my little brother has moved out of the house after graduation (he’s 17) or feels comfortable with the situation (unlikely, but possible).
Dad then told me that he was taking her down to Florida this weekend for an entire week…completely last minute…to celebrate the engagement. She’s never been to Florida and dad wants to take her to all the places he loves to go…Disney, Sea World, that huge flea market down in Daytona. Pretty much all the places that he and mom used to go.
And that’s the kicker. That’s why I’ll support his decision making process regardless of how wildly inappropriate I may think the timing may be. He’s absolutely trying to replace mom in his life…in all areas…and I’m okay with that. I know what’s going on, even if he doesn’t. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing and he feels like he’s in love with her…so who am I to argue that point with him? If doing this makes him happy and makes it so that he can go through a few more years of happiness, then I’ll support him 100%.
Sure, it’s awkward knowing that my dad is engaged before me (my divorce papers are in the mail, people) but it’s not about me…which is something I tried to explain to my little brother. Dad is hurting…he’s grieving…he feels empty inside. Being with this new woman (I really need to come up with a name for her) helps that. And I believe that his thought process is that if they’re married, she can’t just up and leave him…so he won’t be lonely for the rest of his days.
This whole thing is surreal. I’m still processing things. But it’s happened whether I like it or not…so I need to either jump on the bandwagon or watch it go off without me.
I’ve decided that I’ve got my dad’s back, regardless of whether I agree with things or not.
Today is going to be tough for my dad. REALLY tough. It’s going to be tough for me, too. It’s going to be one of those days where you wish you could be alone but know you need to face the world.
Today would have been my parents’ 43rd wedding anniversary.
I had initially forgotten about today, to be honest. Thank goodness I’ve got reminders set-up on my computer because I think my dad is really going to need me today. I’ll be in my home town this morning for a dentist appointment, anyway…so dropping by or visiting him won’t be a problem.
I just don’t think I’ll know what to say to him. I mean…how do you bring it up without making the situation worse?
I want to ask him how he’s making out, but I think that might trigger the tears. I want to see if he needs anything, but that might trigger the tears. I think anything I ask about today might trigger tears, actually…but I’m pretty sure my dad needs me today and maybe the tears will be a good thing.
This is one of those days where I wish I didn’t have to go through. I wish I could continue on…completely unaware of what day it actually is. That old saying “ignorance is bliss” really is true at times, because this is one of those days where memories will be forced upon me…where thoughts and images of my mom will be floating through my head…where the realization of her passing will again hit me like a ton of bricks.
Happy anniversary, mom and dad.
I miss you, mom.
xox
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a related note, I wanted to give everybody an update on how my online fundraising efforts were going so far on the Relay for Life I’m doing in June in memory of my mom.
For those unaware, my beautiful mother lost her battle with cancer on February 20th, 2011. I will walk and continue to walk annually in honor of her.
I am really excited about participating in this year’s Canadian Cancer Society Relay For Life in my home town of Amherst, Nova Scotia because every step I take in Relay raises money to help the Canadian Cancer Society save lives.
Please join me in the fight against cancer by supporting my participation in Relay For Life now. It’s really easy – just click on this link.
I appreciate any assistance you have in helping me reach my online goal of $500. And if you’d like to join my team (even if you can’t actually physically be there), join up and raise money on your own! It’s not about physically being there, it’s all about the cause.
Online pledging is secure and it saves the Society money by reducing administrative costs – it means the money you give can go further to help the fight against cancer.
I’m currently at 58% of my online goal thanks to some really great people. Thank you!!! Hopefully we can reach the online goal of $500 by June 3rd.
Thanks for your continuing support!
Dear Universe…
Y’know, most of the time this whole long-distance relationship really sucks. I mean, I’m absolutely head-over-heels in love with the woman I’ve been searching for all of my life and, for the time being, we’re unable to be together in the way that we want.
She can’t move any time soon (3-4 years at least) because she shares 50/50 custody with her ex-husband and he’s actually NOT a deadbeat dad (though he’s a HUGE douchebag but that’s another story). He has said that when the girls are older, things may change and they may want to live with one parent more than the other…but there’s no exact timetable right now.
I can’t move any time soon because I’m not yet ready to be an “every other weekend” dad, especially where my son is only four. As he grows older, things may change…but I just don’t know how long that will be.
So Universe, all I’m asking is that you take care of Sunshine during this period and help her go through day-to-day life.
Me? I’m doing okay. I’ve been through a lot recently and I feel as though I’m strong enough to deal with whatever you want to throw at me. And to be honest, the way I see it is I’ve been waiting my entire life to find this woman so if I have to wait a few more years before we’re able to live under the same roof, then I’m 100% willing to do it because I never want to lose her.
She wants this change made sooner rather than later. For the record, I feel the same way but I just don’t see it happening unless one of us wins the lottery.
Listen, my intentions are to marry Sunshine…period. That’s the plan. I don’t know when it’s going to happen but I certainly don’t want it to wait until we’re finally living together. It’s quite possible to live in a long-distance marriage (info can be found here, here, & here) and I know that we’re both going to have to work very hard if that ends up being the case. So Universe…please help both of us manage and cope with this ridiculous “every two weekend” relationship until the stars align and we’re finally together.
I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want her to suffer because of the distance. I want our lives to be as one. I want us to live under the same roof as one, big, happy family.
Is that too much to ask?
Thanks.
CBG
|
 | T on Dad’s New Girlfrien… |
 | Jolene on Dad’s New Girlfrien… |
 | naimavanswol on Dad’s New Girlfrien… |
 | thebitchdesk on HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUNSHINE!!… |
| thebitchdesk on Spring, sunshine, & middle… |
