Category Archives: Confessions from a cubicle

May 22, 2012

Confessions From A Cubicle

By Canadian Bald Guy

Confessions from a CubicleSometimes I drift off at work a bit. It’s not like I actually fall asleep or anything…I just let my mind wander. But sometimes on a break or during lunch I’ll hear or read something online that sticks with me.

What I do is just jot something down and then finish the thoughts once I’m home. I haven’t done one of these since last October and had more than a few minutes of downtime yesterday, so I decided to take advantage and throw my thoughts down on paper.

- Here’s a question: When is an all-u-can-eat-buffet not really an all-u-can-eat-buffet? When you’re Bill Wisth from Thiensville, WI. Apparently, this guy ate so much fish at Chuck’s Place that they actually cut him off. It turned into an incident where the police were called and then Bill decided to picket the place afterwards because “people have to stand up for consumers”. Bill is 6’6” and over 350 pounds. He ate a dozen pieces of fish before being cut off, then was given eight more pieces in an effort to get him out of the restaurant. This, apparently, was not enough. Honestly…I’m on the fence on this one. Yes, Bill was eating WAAAAY too much food, but that’s the point of an all-u-can-eat-buffet…isn’t it?

- Have you ever wanted to know what it felt like to be shot? No…most people don’t. Of course, Shawn Mossow’s friend was one of those people who DID want to know what it felt like. So he asked Shawn to shoot him in the leg. Seriously. Shawn, being the good friend that he obviously is, gave in after multiple requests (apparently) and shot his friend with a .22-caliber rifle. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Of course, if you’re dumb enough to ask to be shot then you probably deserve to be shot.

- As a parent, I can understand not wanting to see younger kids grind up on each other like a new-age version of Dirty Dancing. However, I think I gotta draw the line at spraying kids with Lysol at a high school prom. And then on top of that calling them “whores” and “sluts” might be a bit extreme. I think the Manitou Springs High School should re-think who their chaperones are for future dances.

- I’m all for being proud of yourself and your body if it helps boost your self-esteem. I know that I’ve had my own problems dealing with body issues. However, being proud of yourself shouldn’t mean that you can walk around in public totally naked. Last week, 49-year-old Barbara Lafleur walked into not one but TWO New York businesses totally nude. She wasn’t doing anything other than shopping, which makes the situation even more strange. The video below comes from one of the two businesses and yes, it contains nudity.

NSFW

- Since we’re talking about public nudity, how about a large 32-year-old Pennsylvania man who parked his vehicle at a Wal-Mart, stripped down completely naked in the parking lot, casually walked into the store, and then proceeded to steal a pair of socks before wondering off. I mean, if it weren’t for the video you’d think I was making this stuff up. Oh…but this video has a blurry section where it needs a blurry section.

Kinda SFW

- With the impending release of “The Dark Knight Rises“, it only makes sense that somebody would create The Bat-Stache!! Ummm…no story to this. It’s just what some guy did and posted on the internet. Hello 15-seconds of fame!

- How many 6-year-old boys do you know who have been suspended from school for “sexual harassment”? Not many, I’m sure. I mean, at six I can only imagine that the term “harassment” doesn’t even appear on the radar, much less “sexual harassment”. Well…in Colorado a kid was suspended for saying, “I’m sexy and I know it”…the line from the LMFAO song of the same name that was a number one single for a couple of weeks. Apparently Sable Elementary School has a “zero tolerance policy”…which sometimes makes zero sense, as it does in this case.

- Hey…ever think about hiring a clown to surprise your child for their birthday? SURE you have! Okay…now what if that was an EVIL clown that stalked your child for an entire week and ended up hitting them in the face with a pie to “celebrate”?? Yeah…a little weird, right? Some people think this is a great idea, hence Dominic Deville’s business idea of creating a website called “EvilBirthdayClown.com“. I couldn’t imagine intentionally scaring my child. That seems like a form of torture to me.

- This video boggles my mind. For whatever reason, somebody in NYC was dressed up as Darth Vader and he was hanging out with a couple of other guys dressed as Stormtroopers (don’t ask me why…I don’t know). At some point during the day, Vader’s car got a parking ticket. In the video, Vader catches up with a traffic cop and tries to talk his way out of the ticket. Yes…seriously.

Hopefully I can do something slightly more productive at work tomorrow.

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October 27, 2011

Confessions from a Cubicle

By Canadian Bald Guy

Confessions from a CubicleSometimes I drift off at work a bit. It’s not like I actually fall asleep or anything…I just let my mind wander. But sometimes on a break or during lunch I’ll hear or read something online that sticks with me.

What I do is just jot something down and then finish these thoughts once I’m home. I haven’t done one of these in about a year and had a few minutes of downtime yesterday, so I decided to throw some thoughts on paper.

- I gotta admit that the X-Factor absolutely has me hooked. It’s a shame that more people aren’t getting into it more because it really combines the best of all other singing competitions and wraps it up into one big package. Of course, the UK version was the original that American Idol was based off of, so it’s not like this is a rip-off of anything else. This show is unique and fun and has a TON of talent. My pick to win it all is Josh Krajcik, but I’m not so sure after seeing the awful song choices his mentor, Nicole Scherzinger, gave her team last night. Hopefully his talent will overcome the poor music choices.

- Don’t ask me why, but for some reason Ankle Biter is totally into LMFAO right now. He has spent the last three months listening to “Party Rock Anthem” almost non-stop and watching the video a few hundred thousand times (he likes the “dancing zombies”). Now it’s time for the second single, and as soon as The Ex told him the song on the radio was by the same group who did “All Day Shufflin” (what he calls the first song), he went nuts for the song. Now I can’t NOT play it every single moment he’s sitting in my car. I can’t lie and say the song is terrible, though…so at least there’s that. It’s just weird to hear my five-year-old tell me that he’s “sexy and I know it”.

- So what does a Hollywood actress do when she’s broke and washed-up before aged 30?  Well, if you’re Lindsay Lohan you pose naked for Playboy to  the tune of almost one million dollars. I’m sorry, people…I know she has addiction issues and everything, but she’s also a talentless bimbo who thumbs her nose at the world because she’s a celebrity. I’m just waiting for the day when she FINALLY comes crashing back to earth and realizes that the world owes her nothing…that she needs to be in charge of her own life and make something of herself without relying on the paparazzi.

- How is it that KISS and Rush aren’t even NOMINATED for the Rock’n'Roll Hall of Fame, yet this year the noms include The Cure, Eric B & Rakim, The Spinners, Donna Summer, and War.  Wait…are you trying to tell me that The Cure has been more successful and more influential in the history of rock music (or the last 30 years of music, period) than either KISS or Rush??? No offense to Cure fans, but please…it’s ridiculous. I don’t get it…I really don’t. Mind you, this year includes nominations for the Beastie Boys, Guns’n'Roses, Heart, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. So I guess all isn’t lost.

- I haven’t seen a good movie in a movie theatre in a very long time. The last movie I saw in the theatres was The Smurfs, which was cute but not great. Sunshine suggested that we go to a movie this weekend…but I don’t see anything great playing that would make me want to dish out a ton of money. Puss ‘N’ Boots, maybe…but I don’t want to have to deal with the kiddies on opening weekend. And what’s worse is that I don’t see any movies coming up that even tickle my fancy except for Sherlock Holmes 2. I didn’t even care for the summer blockbusters from this year (Green Lantern was “meh” and Transformers 3 was horrible). Is it just me?  Where have all the good movies gone?

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October 4, 2010

Confessions from a Cubicle

By Canadian Bald Guy

Confessions from a CubicleSometimes I drift off at work a bit. It’s not like I actually fall asleep or anything…I just let my mind wander. But sometimes on a break or during lunch I’ll hear or read something online that sticks with me.

What I usually do is just jot something down and then finish these thoughts once I’m home. Things were a bit slow on Friday, and I had a bit of down-time last night once Sunshine went home after another awesome weekend together, so with that free time I decided to throw some random thoughts on paper.

And for whatever reason, people seem to enjoy my random take on the world…

- Man vs Food.  OMG…I’m absolutely in love with this show.  And here’s the thing: I totally realize that this show is wrong in every way. I mean, this guy is shoveling food into his mouth all over the country yet I just can’t get enough of it.  It’s TOTALLY a guilty pleasure.

- At the risk of getting into an argument again with Sunshine about Lindsay Lohan, let me just say that she FINALLY did the right thing a couple of weeks ago by tweeting an admission of her guilt from failing some drug tests and then on top of it all, she finally checked herself into rehab.  All along through the months and months of nonsense, I just wanted her to take some responsibility for her actions instead of trying to act like her sh*t didn’t stink.  Well…now she’s got another date with a judge and some possible jail time. And let’s face it…it’s not like she can act or anything.  She’s NOT a talented actress by any stretch (did you see her attempt to act in a skit with Chelsea Handler at the MTV Awards last month?), so whether or not she acts again isn’t really a focus here (or at least it shouldn’t be).  It’s having her get clean and staying clean.  Maybe she can pull off a Robert Downey?

- And since we’re on the subject of Lohan, why doesn’t that crack-whore Paris Hilton ever get the same crap that Lindsay does?  She was actually busted WITH cocaine in her possession??  I just don’t get why she seems to get a free pass and can get off without receiving any jail time.  I mean, she’s obviously another one who has a problem.  Maybe my daughter was right…maybe having money really does mean you can do anything you want.

- Survivor does not look that great this year.  I’ve watched the first episode and the third episode and I gotta say…this REALLY looks boring.  Old people vs young people?  Meh.  Plus, nobody really looks that intriguing…and above all else, it’s the people you put on the island that makes the show interesting.  So yeah…this year, I think I’m skipping it.

- There aren’t very many movies coming up that are looking very appealing.  There are a few, though…


- X-Factor: I’ll be totally straight with you…if this show is pretty much the same once it debuts in U.S. television in fall 2011 as it is currently on the U.K. version, then I’m absolutely switching over from American Idol. There is just something different…more fun…with X-Factor than with AI. At least with the audition process (done in front of a live arena audience!).  Their “boot camp” looks like “Hollywood week”, but then the finalists are divided up into groups and sequestered with one of the judges for personal instruction and further cuts.  It’s just a very different feel than AI, which is REALLY getting stale.  Anyway…I’m doing my best to keep up with the newest season of the U.K. version via downloading.  It’s extremely entertaining.

- Should I be bothered that my daughter called me a day late to wish me a happy birthday?  I mean, she called…which she hadn’t done the previous two years (at least)…so that should be good enough, right?  It was a VERY quick conversation, though.  I just get the feeling that I’ve turned into that single dad that the child doesn’t really want to talk to or visit but does because they’re told to.  I don’t want to sound like I’m putting myself down or anything, but that’s just the view I see from my end.

- How in the world are KISS and Rush NOT in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, yet some of the class of 2011 nominees are Chic, Donovan, Dr. John,  Darlene Love, Donna Summer, and Tom Waits?  I mean, are these nominees really that much better than KISS and Rush?  Now don’t get me wrong, there are some VERY good nominees this year: Alice Cooper, Beastie Boys, Bon Jovi, J Geils Band, LL Cool J, and even Neil Diamond. But it’s just crazy to me how some people get nominated and others don’t.

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June 9, 2010

Confessions from a Cubicle

By Canadian Bald Guy

Confessions from a CubicleSometimes I drift off at work a bit. It’s not like I actually fall asleep or anything…I just let my mind wander. But sometimes on a break or during lunch I’ll hear or read something online that sticks with me.

What I usually do is just jot something down and then finish these thoughts once I’m home. Yesterday I was in one really long, boring meeting…hence I had some time to throw some random thoughts on paper.

And for whatever reason, people seem to enjoy my random take on the world…

  1. Alice in Wonderland wasn’t what I expected. The way this movie was marketed, I really expected a wacked-out children’s fantasy movie. I enjoy Tim Burton movies and the previews made this look to be a LOT of fun. Well…I liked it and all, but the marketing was pretty deceiving. This was extremely dark and had some pretty violent and scary scenes. I posted on my Facebook page that I thought it definitely wasn’t a movie for kids, and there was a nice little debate back and forth on whether it was a good family film. I’m still thinking it’s not good for kids under 10, but that’s just me. I’m more disappointed that this was a sequel and not a reimagining of the original. I must be way off, though…because this movie has made a TON.

  2. Tom Cruise - Les Grossman

    Tom Cruise is the effin’ man. I think it was pretty cool to make fun of Tom Cruise over the past few years, but he took a giant step forward with his bit-part (but extremely memorable role) in Tropic Thunder playing Les Grossman. Well, he’s not gonna be made fun of by me any time soon after watching his amazing performance as Les Grossman at his past weekend’s MTV Movie Awards. The pre-taped vignettes were awesome enough, but once he appeared live and did a dance routine that included Jennifer Lopez…well…I was just blown away.  I guess just about ANY actor can have their career resurrected with the right role.

  3. BP sucksBP is f*cked. I mean seriously…this is now above and beyond just trying to fix the initial problem. This is now an environmental disaster that BP needs to fix and will continue to pay to fix for years and years to come. The pictures of the birds stuck in oil are horrific. The estimated figures of tourism already lost are horrific. The estimated numbers from the loss of livelihoods are horrific (and probably not nearly as bad as they eventually will actually be). The problem isn’t just the oil spilling into the ocean anymore. The beaches…the marshes…the ecosystems…this is a monumental disaster of epic proportions. And that little “apology video” from BP is just an ill-timed PR stunt…and that’s a shame because I’m sure BP is very sorry for this entire mess but some phony-looking commercial in an attempt to garner sympathy from the American public just isn’t a smart move. I dunno…this whole thing is a tragedy.

  4. Bret Michaels

    Bret Michaels needs to be careful. Let’s recap this…first Bret had an appendectomy and was rushed to the hospital. He wasn’t out for more than a week and BOOM…he had a brain hemorrhage and was in the hospital for a couple more weeks. He was home trying to recuperate when he started experiencing numbness in his left side and then POW…he was diagnosed with having had a “warning stroke” and that he actually had two holes in his heart. So yeah…the guy probably had one of the worst months ever. But then things started changing…he was named the Celebrity Apprentice, he made a well-received surprise appearance singing alongside Casey James on the finale of American Idol, and he was given the green light to go on tour for the summer by his doctors. He can’t party or drink or go nuts like he has done all of his life, but the doctors say that he is healthy enough to perform in concert during the summer until his scheduled operation in the fall. I’ve been a fan of Poison since their initial album came out back in 1986. I was one of the thirteen people who actually bought their double-live cd back in 1991. I’m just a massive fan and I’m really happy for his post-Poison success over the past few years. But he needs to really be careful this summer. His body is screaming at him to just slow down and take it easy…and while he’s not going to do that, I’m hopeful that he does it enough to stay alive and healthy for a very long time to come.

  5. The A*Team doesn’t look too bad. I can’t begin to describe just how larger-than-life I thought the original A*Team television show was for me as a kid. For as cool as Hannibal and Face were, and for as bad-ass B.A. Baracus was, I was always a fan of “Howling Mad” Murdock the most. I thought Dwight Shultz was incredible in his role and that it could never be filled. Now I’m seeing ads for the movie and not only does it look like a fun kick-ass thrill ride, but one of my new favourite actors, Sharlto Copley (from District 9), is playing the role of Murdock…and from what I’ve seen, he’s playing it perfectly. I hope the movie isn’t a letdown like, say, Clash of the Titans. It’s hard enough doing a remake and even harder to do a television remake that doesn’t suck. With a cast that includes Bradley Cooper and Liam Neeson in addition to Copley, I really have high hopes for the movie.
  6. Ankle Biter’s music playlist is growing. One of the great things I’m enjoying immensely as of late is seeing my son not only enjoy music, but dance to it, as well.  He’s really cute as heck anyway, but to watch him really enjoy songs like Boom Boom Pow, Down, and Carry Out (not to mention hearing him try to sing along) brings the biggest smile to my face.  One song I never thought I’d hear again is now on his playlist thanks to watching Chicken Little last weekend.  I asked him if he REALLY liked it and he was all smiles.  I guess I’ll have to live with it for now…

That’s all I got today. Have a good one!

4 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Confessions from a cubicle

April 23, 2010

Confessions from a Cubicle

By Canadian Bald Guy

Confessions from a CubicleSometimes I drift off at work a bit. It’s not like I actually fall asleep or anything…I just let my mind wander. But sometimes on a break or during lunch I’ll hear or read something online that sticks with me.

What I usually do is just jot something down and then finish these thoughts once I’m home. Yesterday I was in not one boring meeting but TWO…hence I had some time to throw some random thoughts on paper.

And for whatever reason, people seem to enjoy my random take on the world…

1. Last weekend was extremely busy. With two nights spent with both Sunshine & the girls plus a movie out as a family plus friends coming over on Saturday night plus a birthday party on Sunday afternoon…my time spent with Sunshine seemed a bit rushed at times. I certainly don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, though…I love her girls and our friends are awesome people to hang out and talk to. I’m just looking forward to a slightly quieter weekend with Sunshine next weekend. Maybe a coffee date with a friend and maybe a hike or two…but other than that, just relaxing with my gal. I think we’ve earned it.

2. I’m developing a strange crush on Kate Gosselin. I know I know…she’s insane and a fame-monger and a total bitch (if you believe the tabloids), but her most recent make-over has finally won me over. I haven’t even watched her on DWTS but from what I’ve read she was absolutely terrible…and that’s okay with me. I don’t know if she’s deserving of being entered into my “Top 5″ list or anything, but I certainly have a crush on the woman. Maybe that’d go away if she opened her mouth, I dunno. So yeah…Kate, just stand there and shut-up. That’ll TOTALLY do it for me.

3. I’m an addict. It’s just a part of my personality. I was addicted to smoking…I’m addicted to cola…I’m addicted to food. I kicked the first habit but I’m having an extremely difficult time kicking the other two. After losing 12 pounds on my last “Biggest Loser” kick, I’ve since gained 7 pounds back (!!) and am really unhappy with my lack of motivation. So I’m starting up another “Biggest Loser” contest at work that begins on May 5th, and this time around I’m planning on going hardcore (for me, anyway). I mean, I did the whole “lifestyle change” thing and it worked a bit…but just never took. I’m hoping to get into good eating & exercise habits to the point that they become routine and not just easily dismissed after having a good week. I know Sunshine isn’t too keen on me trying an actual “diet” (at all…she feels it sucks and I shouldn’t be upset with losing 1-2 lbs per week), but I just feel it’s something I need to try. I feel as though I owe it to myself because I’ve never really REALLY tried to lose weight before (other than the weeks leading up to my wedding, but that whole episode of my life has been deleted from my memory). So I’ll be keeping track again on my blog because I really feel like I need the motivation of telling the world where I’m at…and that can be quite motivational. We’ll see what happens. Hell…I might even change my mind after a week. Who knows?

4. I want to own Avatar on DVD, but yet I *don’t* want to own Avatar on DVD. The mass appeal of this movie were the 3D effects, which were spectacular. The entire movie came to life on the big screen…it was an incredible visual experience even though the movie itself was just okay. So for as much as I enjoyed it sitting in an IMAX theatre, I’m wondering if it’s worth spending $25 just to watch on my 25″ television at home. Hmmm…

5. Ankle Biter’s potty training is going extremely well. Maybe it’s because the ex and I waited until he was a bit older (he’s 3 1/2 now), but the number of accidents have been a LOT less than I had initially anticipated. He’s going on Week #4 and is doing great. Other than an extremely unfortunate incident from two weekends ago (**shudder**), he’s been nothing but perfect with me so I’m really hoping for a great experience this weekend. I’m planning on going to a playground or two and taking him outside on his bicycle (weather permitting, obviously) and driving to see his grandparents, so my hope is that we go the weekend “accident free”. I guess only time will tell…but my fingers are crossed!

6. I might be getting an offer on my house today! I’ve only shown the house three times in three months, but the third time was a second viewing for a couple and my realtor is expecting good news. Of course, my father and I aren’t getting too excited as it might be a low-ball offer…but at least there’s a tiny bit of interest.

7. How paycheck-to-paycheck am I living? Well…$600 would clear me of immediate bill-collector debt and I can’t seem to find a way to get that taken care of. How sad is that?? I mean, I’m in a pretty good position overall…I only owe $300 on my credit card and other than my house and my car and my monthly bills, I’m only $600 in the hole. You’d think that’s an AWESOME position to be in, considering where the economy is right now. But I’m broke ALL the time and I’m always scraping by. At this stage, I’m totally willing to even sell advertising space on my blog (seriously…email me if you’re interested). Hell…if I thought I could make money selling sperm or by donating blood, I’d do it. It just sucks to be SOOOOO close to being debt-free, y’know? Bah.

6 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , | posted in Confessions from a cubicle, dating, entertainment, happiness, movies, My Top 5, parenting, relationships, Sunshine, The Ankle Biter, TV

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