I found out yesterday that Sunshine had decided to NOT run her marathon in a couple of weeks. This is the marathon that she’s been training for since she did the half-marathon last year.
It turns out that I inadvertently contributed to her decision. At one point a few weeks ago she came back from a big run and told me how many kilometers she ran. I actually sounded disappointed to her in the results. I wish I hadn’t sounded that way because I can’t even run ONE kilometer without having to stop three or four times and breaking out a sweat. She ran over 30km that day and I couldn’t have been more proud of her.
I also tried giving her a pep talk the other night that ended up falling flat. My point was to try to get her to enjoy the training and get the most out of every moment so that she enjoys the marathon itself, because if she’s not having fun then why even bother. Apparently the words didn’t quite come out the way I wanted them to and I ended up sounding like I was talking her OUT of the marathon.
We talked last night and I tried to relay my true feelings to her. We discussed the deeply-rooted concerns and fears that she has about running the marathon again (she did her first a few years ago before we met). We discussed just how much she inspires me…how doing what she does isn’t something just anybody can do.
I don’t know if she woke up changing her mind about the marathon or not, but she took off at 5am this morning for a long run.
I believe in you, Sunshine. Whether you decide to run this or not run it, I’m behind you 100%. Do whatever YOU want to do…just know that I look up to you and am inspired by what you have been able to accomplish on so many levels. I don’t think…I KNOW that you can kick ass in a marathon if it’s something you really want to do. And if you don’t…screw it. It’s not the end of the world…it’s just whatever you want to do.
I love you. I believe in you.