One of the problems that I have always gone through over the years has been trust. This has especially been an issue when it came to relationships, as well.
I’ve always felt the need to be guarded for a couple of reasons. For one, any time I let my guard down meant I then opened myself up to opportunities at being hurt by the person I was with. The other reason was that I honestly did not feel as though anybody could truly love me for who I really was…so I hid a lot about me and pretended to be somebody I wasn’t in order to “find happiness”.
It’s taken me a long time to come out of my shell enough to truly be myself. Hell…my ex-wife didn’t really know everything about me. I’ve actually told Sunshine things about my past that I never told my ex-wife. Sunshine is truly the person that I have ever felt the most comfortable with, and with those feelings comes 100% trust in her and in us.
Which is why this past weekend we went to a local bank and opened up a joint bank account together.
Now some of you may think that this isn’t really that big of a deal. Heck, even Sunshine didn’t really think it was that big of a deal. But other than my dad when he co-signed a mortgage with me, I’ve never had a joint bank account with anybody before…even my ex-wife.
So for me, this was a big deal.
We’re not going to start pooling all of our money in the account, but it’s a “vacation fund” account where we will throw in whatever we can in order to save up for a trip somewhere…whether it’s another cruise through the Caribbean or a drive down to Maine.
The point is that this is our first major move as a team…as partners…and the beginning of a lot of great things to come for the both of us down the road.
February 6th, 2012 at 8:30 am
And it’s a great thing that you’ve found Sunshine to show you how it’s really meant to be. I love your relationship together and seeing all the steps your taking to a strong and wonderful future.
February 7th, 2012 at 6:59 am
Thanks, Ash. It’s certainly feels like a big step to me and I love that.
February 6th, 2012 at 9:50 am
That’s awesome!! I think it is a huge commitment and a very good one, one that does take a lot of trust. I never had a shared account with my ex-husband (more his hesitation than mine, but that’s a story in itself!), and now, I think I would be very open to it with M…for those very reasons, vacation fund, etc. (woo Maine!)
February 7th, 2012 at 7:00 am
Obviously, if we can’t save up for a cruise this year then Maine it is!!
February 6th, 2012 at 5:07 pm
WooHoo! This is a big step. It’s awesome that you have found someone that you can trust and want to open up to.
February 7th, 2012 at 7:00 am
It’s been a long time coming and I couldn’t be any happier about the situation.
February 6th, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Which is harder opening a joint bank account or opening the heart?
February 7th, 2012 at 7:01 am
Wow…that’s an EXCELLENT question.
I think opening my heart. I suppose I would have opened a bank account with the ex-wife if she had brought it up, but I was never able to truly open up my heart to her…I was always holding something back.
Certainly not the case anymore.