When I was in high school, my dad was adamant about me getting good grades. “It is a different time”, he’d say. I would get grounded for bad marks. I was expected to get a 75% average, which I thankfully pulled off when all was said and done.
My how things have drastically changed with my dad since then.
I was having lunch with the family yesterday when discussion came up about my little brother’s grades. He’s 17 and is expected to graduate this June, but seems less than enthused about trying to make that happen.
My dad said that if my brother could pull off a 70% average by the time he graduated, he’d send him on a trip somewhere (probably New York, by the sounds of it). He then said it was a pretty safe assumption that it wouldn’t happen.
Really? I mean…it’s 70%. It’s not like he was asking for a 4.0 GPA or something like that.
Turns out my brother is currently averaging between 55%-60%. I was a bit surprised to hear that because one of the promises that he made to our mom before she died was that he’d graduate and do his best in school.
When I questioned why the marks were so bad, my brother immediately jumped into the conversation with the following nugget of wisdom:
“I don’t believe that school grades are an accurate reflection of my actual intelligence.“
I absolutely lost it at this point. I mean, seriously? DUDE…you’re seventeen years of age! At seventeen, your high school grades are your ONLY reflection of intelligence. I mean, where else are you going to pull your knowledge from…your vast life experience??
Sigh.
Honestly…I believe that people who say things like that are absolutely effin’ lazy, plain and simple. All he wants to do is sit around and play video games all day. I mean, I can understand that…not wanting to do much at that age. I remember what it was like for me. But at that age I not only had a part-time job but I had a plan of what I was doing after high school. Was it the best plan? No. Did I know what I wanted to do the rest of my life? Heck, I still don’t know and I turn 40 later this year. But at least I knew that I was going to school and had an idea of where my life was supposed to head after I graduated from high school.
My brother doesn’t have the slightest clue.
And what’s worse is that if I had that exact same lackadaisical attitude twenty years ago when I was in high school, my dad would have kicked my ass. I’m not really sure why things have changed but I’ve got my theories.
Am I out of line, though? Should kids just not give a shit these days and “let it fly” to see where their life takes them? Because to me, that was the dumbest thing I have ever heard my little brother say.
January 30th, 2012 at 10:16 am
That is really difficult to witness because you have so much more insight to life than he does. And even tougher because our parents seem to be so much more gentle on the youngest of our siblings than they do on us, the oldest.
I am trying to learn to allow people their own mistakes. This is one of the most difficult lessons…. as a parent, a sibling, a friend, a partner. All that you can do is demonstrate and live the life you hope will inspire others.
January 30th, 2012 at 8:42 pm
I just hate to see lessons learned the hard way when they can be prevented well ahead of time.
January 30th, 2012 at 10:29 am
I agree with T…as tough as it is, all we can do is just give others the space they need to live their own lives, make their own mistakes, and hopefully learn from them. It’s tough to do, though, I totally get it.
January 30th, 2012 at 8:43 pm
Well…you know my concern is that he’ll end up like “she who shall not be named”. His path isn’t pre-determined, but he’s not helping things any.
January 30th, 2012 at 11:01 am
Could he also be going through a depressed state or has he always had this attitude?
January 30th, 2012 at 8:44 pm
Who…my brother or my dad?
lol
My brother isn’t the problem, really. He’s acting like a normal “know it all teenager”…I can relate.
It’s my dad that should be cracking the whip a bit more, and I’m really surprised that he’s not because my brother’s future is just so bloody important.
January 31st, 2012 at 12:32 pm
Ha! Your brother. I immediately veered to him. But yes, your dad should be cracking the whip!
January 30th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Amen brother. I can’t believe the mediocrity that we have accepted with our youth. If you were that 17 year old why would you want to do anything different? You have a nice home, video games and food.
Remind your father that he is doing his youngest no favors.
I’m with you. All I wanted to do was get out of the house and start my life!
January 30th, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Like I said…I can totally relate. When I was 17 I certainly didn’t want to do much of anything. If I had the videogames that kids have today, I probably wouldn’t want to leave the house much, either.
But he wants out of the house as soon as he graduates and is thinking about joining the army. I don’t know what kind of life he thinks he’s going to lead because the army is (deservedly) going to kick his ass.
He has no idea what he’s in for. Playing video games all day is fun and all, but how is he going to pay for food, someplace to live, and then the top-of-the-line internet speed that he’s used to living at home? He thinks life is going to be so much easier on his own and he’s not even working a job now (he quit a job working at Canadian Tire because the warehouse was “too hard” on him…what does he think the army is going to do to him???).