If somebody could tell you that you could go back in time and change ONE THING about your education, what would change?
Think about it for a second…what one thing about your scholastic achievements at any level would you want to get back and do-over and/or change altogether?
For the longest time, I really thought about being a DJ. Near the end of high school, it’s all I really wanted to do. I wanted to go to broadcasting college and become a radio disc jockey for a living. My dad, though, said that if I wanted to do that I would be on my own…but if I went to a university to get a Bachelor of Commerce degree, he’d pay for the whole thing.
I was a meek 17-year old kid afraid of his own shadow, so I chose Option B.
But now as I step closer and closer to being 40 years of age, I realize that I never would have made it as a DJ. My voice was alright, but it wasn’t great. I’ve gotten a lot better with age (ten years DJ’ing and MC’ing during the 90′s certainly helped me hone my skills). When I listen to the radio, I know that I’m better than some in the business, but not better than most. And then when I think about how much radio DJ’s make for a salary…realistically, my annual income as a DJ after 10 years probably wouldn’t be a whole lot more than what it is right now.
So for me, I would change one specific thing: my first three years that quickly turned into seven.
Y’see…for whatever reason, I just couldn’t focus coming out of high school. Whether it was because I was never truly “into” doing the university thing or because, in the back of my mind, I felt like I wanted to “rebel” against my parents for “making” me go to university…I really didn’t do very well at all my first year out of high school.
I needed a 1.1 GPA to get back into university after the first year. I ended up with a 1.0 and was “politely asked to leave”. After a “year off” I went to a different university…at which I ended up having the same result (yikes). I then went to a community college for a year and did extremely well, probably due to the fact that I was tired of messing up and finally felt as though I wanted to get my act together. The second university finally let me back in and I completed my degree.
Now…if I could do it all over again, I’d absolutely want to complete my studies in four years instead of eight. I graduated high school in 1990 and didn’t get my university degree until 1998, which is ridiculous on a 4-year degree.
I wish I didn’t squander opportunities and skip courses. I wish I had been able to focus harder on the tasks at hand, even up to and including my final year (where I dropped a course because I had completely forgotten about a mid-term and missed writing it). I wish I had concentrated on a major of study and had worked harder to get better grades, as my post-graduation career maybe wouldn’t have begun selling suits for a living.
For many years, I resented my father because I felt as though it was his fault that I wasn’t doing what I truly wanted to do. I finally realize now that I would have been happy, but not a whole lot better off than I am now. And with the degree that I’ve got, I’ve at least got more opportunities outside of my current job than I would have had with a broadcasting degree.
Regrets? I have a few…but only about the choices that I made, not the ones that were made for me.
*****
So what about you? Are you happy with the education you received? Would you have liked to take a different field of study? Would you have liked to go at all?
October 6th, 2011 at 8:06 am
I regret not going further and getting at least a Master’s Degree. I let fear hold me back from going for it (the story of my life).
October 11th, 2011 at 8:33 pm
It sounds like you took the words right out of my mouth! What a great post
October 6th, 2011 at 10:24 am
Would you ever consider going back? Obviously the cost of doing so would be difficult…but it’s never too late, in a sense, either. My mom didn’t graduate college and went back and finished (top 2% of her class too!) while we were in high school. It was a huge undertaking for all of us to go through, given she was also a single parent, but we managed together. Just a little tidbit
For me? Hmm…I hate the word regret. But I guess I regret generally letting fear stop me from doing things. I call if my life performance anxiety.
October 7th, 2011 at 6:38 am
I just don’t think it’s fiscally responsible for me to accumulate more debt that I can’t afford with two kids relying on me (and a long-distance relationship to maintain). It would probably help me long-term to improve my overall education, but I really don’t think I could do it right now.
October 6th, 2011 at 11:06 am
Yeah, I’m with Sunshine. I don’t have regrets because I left college, moved to Dallas and then went BACK to college later to pursue what I wanted to pursue. But now, I would love to get my Masters. I just don’t see it happening any time soon.
October 7th, 2011 at 3:49 am
I still haven’t finished, but I have no loan debt.
October 11th, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Great post. I think the only way to move forward it to take responsibility for our own mistakes, because we cannot do one thing about other people’s choices (which you said so nicely). My first two years could have gone better, but the latter I made up for lost time and finished with a degree I am thankful to have earned.
October 12th, 2011 at 6:26 am
You’re so right on that. I didn’t take responsibility for a very long time and it was hard for me to get over it.
October 11th, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I was a DJ in college. You didn’t miss much!
Sometimes I regret the fact that I turned down an internship at CNN in Atlanta while I was a sophomore in my broadcasting major. I was TOO AFRAID! I mean, it was CNN. And it was all the way across the country. And I was so young…
But you know what? It was all meant to be. Without my turning that down, I wouldn’t have met my future husband, with whom I’ve had the most amazing, incredible children, Then I wouldn’t have been blindsided by that husband (now ex), which inspired my writing (and even my blog). And I wouldn’t be on the path to publishing a book and living my dreams.
It was all meant to be. It has been twisty and turny and curvy, but it’s the right path!
Congrats on your own successes — including Freshly Pressed!
October 11th, 2011 at 4:12 pm
“It was all meant to be…”
Not to pick on you, but maybe none of it was meant to be. You made it happen. You’re the causal link that connects the dots of your life, and you’re making it happen, shaping your own future. Your twisty, turny, curvy path is one that you’ve hewn out the circumstances life dealt you, and if you’re now on the upslope of happiness and contentment, you have only yourself to congratulate.
October 11th, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Point absolutely taken — and you’re welcome to pick on my any ol’ time!
Clearly, my choices impacted the outcome, but I also feel that there is something to be said for the idea that we don’t know the indirect outcomes of our choices — yet they all have consequences. I never, EVER would have chosen to marry a man who ultimately showed such disrespect, and yet without that decision, I wouldn’t have my amazing kids. So my “meant to be” simply means without knowing the consequences of my decisions, I’m far better off.
Wow. That’s convoluted…
October 11th, 2011 at 10:16 pm
I think it is how it’s perceived, glass half empty/half full conundrum… some say everything happens for a reason or it was meant to be and some say, my choices and actions got me here.
I was a late bloomer, when I finished HS I went to Uni for a semester, had a bad experience and left, traveled and lived at Ayers rock for 15months until my grandfather became terminally ill which brought me home like a rocket! Tossed around a couple of jobs and did quite bit with music and did well, though not enough to make a career off of. Met my now fiancee who I will be married to in 6 weeks time and through his support realised that I could go back to Uni and study library and information science, I wasn’t too old and I could do well. Now I am working in an organisation I thought was out of my reach and I love my job and only have 1 year left of my Uni degree which I have been completing via distance education whilst working fulltime. Do I have much of a life outside uni, work and wedding planning….hmmm not so much, am I happy? Hells YES!
October 12th, 2011 at 6:32 am
Mikalee — Funny…I was a DJ in college, too. Started during my first “summer off” and continued until the year before I graduated. I even was program manager for six months. Ahhh…good times.
Karl — Very interesting take on that. I always felt as though it was “simply meant to be” but never took in the fact that I was the “causal link” that made everything happen.
ditch — It’s good to read happy endings. So much on the internet is negative that it’s nice to read about other’s positivity.
October 11th, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I don’t regret anything during my post-secondary education years; it made me who I am today. That being said, I think there’s a lot to be learned from your post as so many high school graduates are unable to focus and end up wasting many years of their lives trying to find out where they fit in.
I work at a private college, and I think that I want to share this post with our students and potential students. Hopefully it’ll inspire them to really think about what they’re wanting to study and why.
October 12th, 2011 at 6:34 am
Share this post with students? Wow…I’m flattered.
It’s obvious by the comments here that I’m totally not alone in how my first few years of university turned out…I just happened to write about it and get “Freshly Pressed” so a slightly larger audience could read about it.
If even one student heard about this story and made the conscious decision to not mess around during his/her first year, then that would really be amazing.
October 11th, 2011 at 2:45 pm
I wish I could have studied abroad, but I worked through college so at least I have very little debt. You win some, you lose some.
October 12th, 2011 at 6:35 am
Yeah…definitely pros and cons to making a decision like that.
October 11th, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Since I STILL don’t know “what I want to be when I grow up” it’s hard to regret the decisions I made (a liberal arts degree proved fairly worthless in the short term, but has been fine in the end, helped by going back to get my MBA).
I think that if I have a regret, it’s just how often I skated by. When else in my life is just learning stuff for its own sake – because it’s interesting, because it’s there to learn – so acceptable? When else is there really time for it? I had classes that would let you drop the lowest of your 4 test grades, and so when I had an “A” on the first three, I knew I was getting an “A” and didn’t go any more. I didn’t give Conversational French half the attention it needed (naturally I speak virtually none now), and I /still/ occasionally have the nightmare that I’ve missed an entire course all semester and now it’s the final (probably shouldn’t have skipped all those 2PM classes for which I always so desperately preferred a nap).
If only, if only!
October 12th, 2011 at 6:38 am
It’s tough when we’re that young because we’ve got NO IDEA just how fortunate we are to be in that position at that time in our lives.
And though I’m working at a steady job, I STILL don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, either.
October 11th, 2011 at 2:55 pm
I went through a very similar experience. I was pushed into college at 17, not knowing what I wanted to do, and it was 8 years until I obtained my degree. My experience always made me think of that line in Tommy Boy, when Chris Farley says “A lot of people take 7 years to finish college”, to which David Spade says “Yeah, they’re called doctors!”.
I don’t think it was your fault at all that you ‘squandered’ opportunities. It seems ridiculous that at 17, we are somehow expected to know what we want to do. Granted, some kids seem to know what they want from birth. But for the rest of us, it takes life experience and time to figure it out, neither of which we have at 17. There is something wrong with how the current system operates, but I’m not sure what a better alternative would look like.
Cheers.
October 12th, 2011 at 6:39 am
I appreciate your story, Jeffrey. It’s nice knowing I wasn’t the ONLY one.
October 11th, 2011 at 3:08 pm
I’ve learned alot from the mistakes I’ve made, but I would accept a chance to go back and change them. #1 I wouldn’t have gone to a private school. #2 I wouldn’t have chosen my major based on earning potential. #3 I probably would have gone into nursing.
October 11th, 2011 at 3:09 pm
This speaks to me because I am trying to give my children good advice about what to do in college. When my oldest began two years ago, he wanted to major in Political Science. We talked him out of it because what are you going to do with that degree and college has become so expensive. Now he is slogging his way toward a business degree. Our daughter will go in two years and already I’ve changed my tune to tell her, do what will make you happy. She can’t decide between being a veterinarian or a chef. She is getting a solid C in her math and science classes, yet is magic in the kitchen, so I am telling her maybe take a few cooking classes now. Me? I have an English degree that’s been no use to me at all and have worked as a preschool teacher for most of my career. You just never know where life will take you, all you can do is follow your bliss.
October 12th, 2011 at 6:42 am
I really want to tell myself that when my kids get to that stage, I’ll be on the “do what makes you happy” side of things. But as you noted, it’s tough because university is so bloody expensive that you really want to just take something that will all-but-guarantee future earning potential.
But as you said, you just never know where life will take you…so we’ll see what happens when it happens.
October 11th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
I’m in college now, and there are a few things I regret (letting bad boyfriends get in the way of success) but overall I’m happy with my experience I wouldn’t change a thing.
October 11th, 2011 at 3:12 pm
I wish I’d left school at 16 and gone on to college to do the next level and not stayed on to do them – but that’s a choice I didn’t grasp as it was easier not to make waves. We do what we do when we do it because that’s ‘where were at’ at a given time because there part of who we are at that moment. I find there’s no point regretting choices made however passively – it’s a whole waste of energy and life-force. The main problem comes up when you feel you’re running out of time (60+) and can’t fit in the choices of this moment. Certainly not going have the chance to regret those!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:01 am
I hear what you’re saying. I’ve got a Bucket List that I don’t know if I’ll ever complete…but where I’m 40 next year, I feel like I’m running out of time to do these things.
October 11th, 2011 at 3:15 pm
I should have finished my master’s thesis.
I should have been a little more social and a little less serious while in school.
I should have gotten involved with more things outside my major study, and broadened myself a wee bit more.
But, those “shoulds” are really hindsight. If I was to trun back the clock, I doubt I would have done anything different, as my choices still have validity.
October 11th, 2011 at 3:34 pm
As a four-year university student in my very last year, I’m encouraged by this post. I love what I’m doing, chose it early on and have been perfectly content with my choice thus far, but it often feels like I’m doing all this for nothing.
Thanks for the uplifting words.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:01 am
Kudos to you. Glad you finished on time.
October 11th, 2011 at 3:50 pm
You did quite well with yourself. Sometimes it takes a few tries on something to get it right.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:02 am
That’s what SHE said.
October 11th, 2011 at 4:00 pm
Great post. Funny, I came out of high school in 88 and graduated in 96 from college. Failed out of 2 school as well, went to community college and bartended then went back to the 2nd school.
You and I have a lot in common. Interesting.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:02 am
Hmmmm…possible cosmic twins?
October 11th, 2011 at 4:09 pm
I would change the amount of time I graduated in also – but pretty much the reverse of what you said. I loved college so much, I wish I would have turned it into an 8 year degree rather than 4
. Nice post!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:03 am
HA! Yes…there’s always THAT side of things.
October 11th, 2011 at 4:14 pm
WOW!
Very interesting post! I think many youth today could read this and have something really serious to think about…
My story is like sooo different.. I went to university and studied the only thing I thought I would actually pass- accounting! (there really wasn’t anything else that interested me- still isn’t till today!)
I did pass accounting and I would actually have completed my degree if I hadn’t stopped to ask myself what my life would really look like as a charted accountant… I decided that i couldnt live such a mundane life.
To my dad’s great dismay, I took a gap year and went to Australia. Traveled and did heaps of self development.. studied some of the most amazing stuff (the stuff they never seem to offer at a university!)
Now I live with absolute passion, my career is something I love and I would still do it if I weren’t getting paid for it… I have a strong sense of purpose and direction in my life and I have a huge dream that I am hell-bent on creating…
Nope. I have no regrets. I wouldn’t study at a university as my entire perspective on universities has changed. They educate you so you can get into a JOB (Just.Over.Broke) and trade your time for money so you can survive in this bad ass world leaving happiness for “one day”…
Today… a degree isn’t everything anymore… it certainly isn’t enough to have one and work a good job and live the lifestyle one most desires… It would be wise to have multiple streams of income so that when your job is suddenly gone, you’re still ok because money is coming in… and if you rely on a single income… well lets hope you are in a very fine position in whichever company…
I’m sorry my reply got a bit long and wordy… congrats on the freshly pressed! It was definitely worth the read!!
Thanks!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:05 am
I really appreciate your “a bit long and wordy” comments. Thanks so much!
It sounds like you’ve really found that spot in your life that most people aspire to achieve. Good on you!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:26 am
Thanks
October 11th, 2011 at 4:18 pm
As a grad student in Physics graduating next semester with a PhD (I hope!) after eight years in the program….well, it took a long time, but there was no way I could have done it much faster. Would I go through a PhD in Physics (or any science) again? Hard to say…I might be burned out on research now, but having that title on the other side means a lot, even if I choose to do something slightly different. And there was much more to these eight years than just school and research–the relationships and experiences are just as, if not even more, important to me.
October 11th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
I majored in pre-law at an Ivy league school to make my parents happy. Really, I wanted to be an English major. While I enjoyed almost every second of my college experience, I really wish I had followed my dreams instead.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:07 am
Hell…I wanted to play drums in school but was “convinced” to take trombone as an instrument in high school. Parents can be VERY influential when they want to be.
Dreams don’t always get followed, though they should.
October 11th, 2011 at 4:26 pm
While I never failed my courses in college, I also took 8 years to get a 4 year degree. Immediately after I graduated I started at school and majored in Music Education. After doing that for 3 1/2 years I realized that it wasn’t the right fit for me, at least not at that time. So I took a year and a half off. Personally, I needed that time off. Everyone has the image of the college career plan going like this: you graduate high school, you go to college for four years and get your degree, then you get a real job. That’s a wonderful idea, but it’s just not realistic for 95% of the people who are going to school. You’re going to change your major, you’re going to take a break from school, and it’s going to be alright when you do. When I first went to college it was in large part what I was supposed to do. I was an honor student in high school, I did well on the ACT, the next step is to go to college, so I went. Taking my time off from school was really important to me because when I went back it was because I wanted to go back. No one told me I needed to go, I just decided that it was time, and for me, that made all the difference.
October 11th, 2011 at 4:29 pm
a really interesting blog. Parents are funny things aren’t they? They inspire you and allow you to believe you can do anything, you tell them what you want to do and you get ‘you can’t do that’. It’s only when you become a parent yourself that you understand the reason why.
Taking responsibility for your own life is a massive step but once you have taken it there is no stopping you.
I’m a recruiter in the UK, part of a very rare breed over here; one that really ‘gets’ people.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:23 am
Wow…isn’t that the truth? As a parent, I can totally see both sides of the situation now. I just hope I can handle things better when it’s time so my kids don’t take 20 years to realize they don’t resent me (lol).
October 11th, 2011 at 4:32 pm
I am an undergrad student and plan to get my degree on time. This post is different from the “follow-your-passion” advice that usually comes from everywhere. This makes me confident about the practical choices that one has to make in life. Thank You.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:25 am
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with following your passion…and given the opportunity, I may have actually gone in that direction.
It just so happened that, for me, it was probably the best choice to NOT follow that dream.
Or maybe that’s just what I’m telling myself so I don’t hate my life on a daily basis.
Hmmmm….
October 12th, 2011 at 7:29 am
I think its the latter…. Makes life bearable. Also keeps you in your comfort zone, where you are because going out there and following the dream now is far to scary…
October 11th, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Hey CBG!
Glad I’m not the only one! I totally understand where you are coming from. And DJs are a dime a dozen btw:D
October 12th, 2011 at 7:26 am
Hey Layla!
DJs are a dime a dozen, but GOOD DJ’s are hard to come by. And I really think I was good.
Ahh well.
October 11th, 2011 at 5:11 pm
This was a really good post. Im at the opposite end of the spectrum, I’m currently in my final year at university and thinking where I will be in 10 years time.
October 11th, 2011 at 5:12 pm
I think I would have taken a year off to travel and meditate on what I really want to do. Maybe I would have chosen something artistic or technical (like architecture) instead of philosophy and languages. But now I am becoming a good translator, and, who knows, I could have been a lousy architect, so it is not a choice that I really regret.
October 11th, 2011 at 5:29 pm
It’s amazing how similar our stories appear: I, too, used to have (more) hair, I graduated in 1990, and I didn’t graduate until ’97. To answer your question, though, I would have chosen a different major.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:28 am
TWINS!!
I thought about a different major, but nothing else really appealed to me.
October 11th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Community college is great. It’s affordable, most often transfers credits and saves a ton of money if you pay attention to what you’re doing, and you don’t often get stuck with a TA from Tasmania that nobody can understand.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:29 am
Community college has totally changed over the past 30 years or so. You can go to college and get a “practical” education in a trade…something university doesn’t do. Your job prospects are probably just as good immediately upon graduating, too.
October 11th, 2011 at 5:42 pm
I’m confused. You write: “I finally realize now that I would have been happy, but not a whole lot better off than I am now.”
Do you honestly believe that, in terms of pay, your initial career choice would have come out more or less on par with the one you actually pursued? If so, I don’t understand why “I would have been happy” doesn’t make your choice of options A or B the one thing you would change. Happy sounds good. In fact, happy sounds great!
Dude… the economy is imploding.Ditch the suit and tie. There’s no such thing as a “safe” job anymore. Go do what you love. Go be happy.
As for me… I regret going to college at all. I regret being the first person in my family to go to college. I regret working my way through it. I regret literally starving to pay for school. I regret graduating Phi Beta Kappa, top 10, and in charge of various student organizations. If I could change one thing about my education, it would be getting one at all. I hate being an educated, ambitious person in a service economy.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:31 am
I’m just thankful that I have a job at all at this point. I have a family to support, so this is the more practical option for me.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:33 am
I like you ! Say it like it is! Totally agree with you!
October 11th, 2011 at 5:42 pm
I love my field of study, but I’ve been rather unemployed lately and just got notice that I need to start making payments on student loans, so if I had to go back, I’d pick something easier to get a good job in.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:32 am
Yeah…and sometimes that’s the internal debate over going for happiness vs practicality when it comes to education. Hope things work out for you soon!
October 11th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
So you took the road less traveled. No big deal, it only counts what you do in the end and most importantly if you like what you do. My brother is a dj in Seattle and wishes he had taken a different path other than broadcasting. When the ratings are down he gets the boot, they only blame the dj. Although he has lived many places he gets tired of the constant moving to a new job–it seems the radio is a real swinging door unless you are in a huge market.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:33 am
That lifestyle was a LOT more appealing when I was in my 20′s and didn’t have two awesome kids in my life.
October 11th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
There are a couple of things I would change about my education if I could…
But honestly, I would change the life choices I made in college first. I would have drank less and attended class more. I would have skipped out on the bad-for-me snack foods and kept up with the gym. I would have joined activities because they interested me and not have cared if I knew anyone there already…
But really, I loved college and I’ve learned from my mistakes. Now, in law school, I don’t drink or skip class; I make sure to eat healthy foods as often as possible; and I take full advantage of every activity that sounds interesting to me. It’s never too late to fix your future as long as you learn from your past.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:35 am
I think that’s my biggest regret about university…the excessive drinking and the skipping of classes. I enjoyed a lot of my time, but I honestly don’t have any life-long friends from my university years because I went from one school to another and by the time I “settled down”, I was more interested in education than making friends.
It’s tough to find that balance.
October 11th, 2011 at 5:47 pm
I wish I had taken a skill/career evaluation test while I was in high school–would have saved me a lot of frustration later on.
October 11th, 2011 at 5:55 pm
I am a senior right now and I have been constantly reflecting on the past three years of college; there are times I wish I would have taken more advantage of the opportunities that college has to offer but I also feel like I have accomplished more than most people that I know. Since it is my senior year, I have been trying to pack as many memories and opportunities into my last year as a college student as I possibly can while trying to keep my focus on graduating with good grades. It’s hard sometimes and I know I could have done more, but I think it is important to remember what I have done rather than regret what I haven’t pursued.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:37 am
That feeling will never go away. You’ll always have that battle of “What else could I have done?” vs. “This is what I’ve accomplished”. It sounds like you’re well on your way to finding more answers with the latter.
October 11th, 2011 at 6:04 pm
I just graduated and I wish I COULD have 8 years of college. I’d love to re-enroll and do it all again. Pick a different major to try, have another four years to take all the classes I didn’t have time for, join all the clubs I was too busy to really commit to. Plus, maybe in four years the economy will be a little more welcoming to those fresh out of college. I guess it can’t get much worse than being as unemployed as I am now.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:38 am
If you have the opportunity to do it, then I say go for it! That chance may not be around again.
October 11th, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Nice post, Dude!
October 11th, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I studied music and then switched to computer science. Now it seems like all I want to do is write. I don’t think I’d change anything though. The important thing was that I was pursuing something and taking it seriously enough to be proud of my accomplishment.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Good…having no regrets is a great way to live.
My desire to write normally comes in waves. This is my “go-to” place, though…although I’ve also got some “side projects” that I work on from time to time to keep my passion for writing in check.
October 11th, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Your blog post and all the comments are fasciating to read both as a mother who put kids through college and as an African-American who was one of the first of her high school to go to college. With my education, I don’t regret anything, because up until I was whisked into college in 1967 I thought I was going to be some rich old lady’s maid for the rest of my life. Getting the opportunity to go to college was won over the lives of many who paved the way for me and I will be eternally grateful. As to my children, I woul have liked them to have entered a service program in Africa somewhere (serving the poor) for two years and then go off to college. They weren’t ready. The difference between them and me is that they expected to be educated and took it for granted; I grabbed the education ring with gusto because I knew it was a gift and it was only going to be offered one time. Congrats on being FP’D.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:16 pm
Wow…what a great story. It must feel fantastic being such a super role model for your children.
I appreciate the comments.
October 11th, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Your father is a very wise man. I went the “DJ route” (mine was music business) and well… I did a few very badly paid jobs in the industry when I was young… but when you hit middle-age…that just won’t cut the mustard… so yeah… my regret- I so would’ve changed my major!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Still…you followed a dream and that’s to be commended. I sometimes wonder if I should have tried to be a DJ and failed, just so I could have said that I did it.
October 11th, 2011 at 6:33 pm
i commend you for turning things around after what sounds like a few rough semesters. i think it’s virtually impossible for most 17-18-year-old kids to know what they want to do with their life and how to acheive their dreams. but i do believe that staying in college for longer isn’t necessarily a bad thing. better to take your time and leave with a degree you’ll use, than rush through and wind up bartending to pay your student loans because you were a history major (no offense to those with history majors
http://www.icouldntmakethisshitup.wordpress.com
October 12th, 2011 at 7:20 pm
I’m just thankful that my dad was so adamant about my education that he paid for the whole bloody thing…otherwise I would have left to do something stupid, without an education of any kind.
It’s funny…bartending, waiting on tables, and DJ’ing did wonders for my pocketbook when I was in my early 20′s. It’s when you get older that the money just seems to disappear on you.
Funny how that works.
October 11th, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Yes, I totally agree with anything you said about regrets. I have finished a 4-year course in 5 years. I did not shift courses but I did stop for a year because I was too busy procrastinating that when I inquired at the university I’m planning to enroll in has decided not to wait for me and just closed the entrance exams.
October 11th, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Hey, great post! The comments are also inspiring, and a great look into different points of view on the whole ‘what route should education take’ debate. I’m, unfortunately, very close right now to where you were during your college years. I “graduated” a year late, so I graduated college in 2009, but am still not technically done since I haven’t yet finished my undergraduate thesis. It’s stupid and idiotic, I know. I’m also unemployed, and in the two and a half years since I’ve graduated have been able to hold a job for a mere six months before the contract finished and I was kicked out.
My major was political science, and I loved every second of it until five or six months after graduation when I realized that out of the ten resumes I was sending out on average every day, I was getting a total of zero responses. I honestly don’t know whether I would choose the same field if I were given another chance. I did well in college, and it was because I did well that I was given opportunities right out of college to go to some amazing graduate programs. Why I didn’t go is beside the point, but I was given those opportunities and am still a viable candidate for some great grad or law school programs out there if I finish my thesis and move on with my life. I don’t know if that would have been the case if I was forced to major in something I disliked or wasn’t as passionate about just because it was more practical.
So, it’s basically all up in the air. What you feel is right depends on who you are. I know people who regret not taking longer to graduate college, not exploring their options more, and not taking classes that seem interesting just because you can. I also know people who regret taking too long, but people differ too much to know for sure what’s right for whom. Maybe I would have done so horribly on a pre-med track that not only would I be unemployed right now, but I would also have very little chance of getting into a medical program. Who knows?
Congrats on being freshly pressed, and keep writing inspiring posts!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Wow…that’s quite a story.
I hope you find what it is that you’re looking for in terms of work. It’s a tough enough economy as it is without having a specialized field of study that isn’t hiring making things even worse.
Great comments, though. Very much appreciated.
October 11th, 2011 at 8:04 pm
if i could do it all over again, i’d definitely pay more attention what i wanted to do with my career, i spent 6 years on my 4 year degree.
October 11th, 2011 at 8:07 pm
I’m in school now- my 4 year plan has become an eleven year one. My father is encouraging me to stick with it, and helping a bit with the bill.
But, I believe this is killing me slowly. This is the opposite of how I want to live. I am only a part-time student right now, due to financing, getting stiffed by the school, but am set to go fulltime next year. I’m studying creative writing, which is what I think I want to do in life, but, when put into academic context, like anything else, really, it seems like canned chopped liver- from a vegan perspective.
It’s true my day job- as a tour bus driver- another thing I’m not especially great at- is not much better, and not much closer to where I want to be. But I’m hoping to write a blockbuster novel or have some other kind of epiphany like all of the many greatly successful drop-outs of the world, to prove that it can be done, and reject the molding and entrainment the world is trying to impose on me, which really might not fit with my future life- the life I’d like to live, as a wild, spiritual hippie.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:38 am
The only thing that stops you from living life as a wild spiritual hippie…. is YOU.
Life doesn’t have a remote control, you got to get up and change it yourself.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:29 pm
Kevin, it really sounds like you’ve got a lot of big dreams for your life and goals that you want to accomplish. All I can say is I really hope that you find ways to turn your creative juices into something (some things) that you can sink your teeth into.
Obviously, best of luck on writing that blockbuster novel. On the flip side, though…don’t hold back from other areas of creative writing that could fulfill you in other ways.
Y’know…as a wild, spiritual hippie.
October 11th, 2011 at 8:41 pm
Oh, stop! You were 17!!! I did the same thing! Went to a college, lasted 4 months! Then ended up going to another, dropped out of that after 1 week! Then tried community college, dropped out after I saw that my music professor couldn’t speak english very well. I never did go back. I became a secretary with a good company. There is where I learned my skills.
I look back and wish I stayed in college and majored in Communications. It was the only class I liked and I did fairly well in it. I was just too naive and immature.
Our parents always want the best for us. They had it different when they were 17. MUCH DIFFERENT! These days, most 17 year olds have NO clue what they want to do when they get out of high school. And it’s much harder now.
So don’t beat yourself up over it. That’s life. You weren’t sure what you wanted. You THOUGHT you knew, but you really didn’t.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:30 pm
You’re absolutely right. I just wish I didn’t have to take twenty years to come to this epiphany…lol.
October 11th, 2011 at 10:27 pm
It took me 7 years to get my ba in sociology, partly out of general laziness and doing a whole lot of drinkin/sexin and not a lot of studying.
I miraculously skated by with b’s and c’s and changed my major a lot before I buckled down and decided to finish b/c I was getting too old and my parents were threatening disowning me if my sister (4 years younger) graduated college before me.
I don’t really regret too much…I went to a prestigious women’s college in NC and I made a lot of good friends, studied with passionate professors and had some awesome experiences. The only thing I would prob change is focusing a bit more because I had a hell of a time getting into grad school. Luckily, I kick ass at a writing essays.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:31 pm
I was a LOT better at writing assignments than I was at other forms of testing and exams. If I only knew then just how much joy I get from writing now, who knows how life could have changed!
October 11th, 2011 at 11:03 pm
I totally agree! I’m about to finish my undergrad degree after six years of working at it! I wish that I would have had the motivation to focus on school and not skip and drop classes like I did when I first started community college. By the time I knew what I wanted to pursue for a degree and was ready to transfer to a university, it had been 4 years of college and I was really starting to feel burnt out. Great post. Thanks for sharing. It’s nice to hear about other people’s perspective and experiences with taking on a longer college plan.
October 11th, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Wow! Great post, it’s very enlightening. I find myself with this annoying question of what to do with myself when school finally comes to an end…
October 12th, 2011 at 7:32 pm
“Real life” ain’t that great.
Well…it’s got its ups and downs. Other than children and family and finding your soulmate, it ain’t that great.
October 11th, 2011 at 11:38 pm
I have some regrets too but not much about my University education because I had a lot of fun although I wish I should have focused more. My regrets are more on what I did after coming out of University. I wanted a job ASAP and jumped into the first opportunity I came across. Now it seems I wasted much of my younger years working without fulfillment.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Funny…I kinda feel the same way.
I sold suits for a year straight out of university with my business degree. I did call center phone jobs for almost a decade.
But my ADULT regrets on job choices would be a whole other ballgame…and blog post.
October 11th, 2011 at 11:53 pm
I’m in college now, and I honestly fear that I’m going to be on the six-year path because I had a year off and switched majors once, so I’m behind as it is. However, there’s also the statistics that are pressing down on me that say that most people don’t work in their desired fields upon graduation, leaving many people that I know to have a “what’s the point” mentality. It’s interesting to point out how as you grow older, you begin to gain a sense of understanding of where exactly you are in your life, because many people live with those regrets of “not trying out for the baseball team” or “eating too many desserts during the holidays”. However, you’re looking back and essentially saying, “Hey, I’m fine with the job I have. And I’m making the same amount of money.” I feel a lot should be said for the gaining of wisdom as you grow older. And how even the biggest regrets that you may have had in your life in the end do not turn to be disaster; you keep living no matter which road you travel down.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:41 pm
I never really thought of it that way, but yeah…that’s exactly the case. Excellent comments, joeycron. Thanks!
October 12th, 2011 at 12:07 am
My one regret is being force to go to college soon after I serve 4 years of my time in the Army. After the military, I was not sure what I wanted to do or what I wanted to become. But family pressured me to go to college so I can us my GI Bill before it ran out. On top of being force to go to college, I was missed informed on important information I needed to know and since I just started out in a new town I was forced to apply and accept the student loans. If I could go back in time I would have told my young self to never apply or accept any student loans because, no matter if you get a good paying job or not, the financial aid will want theire money back and they charge interest every year you miss payment. Student loans can and will mess up your finances throughout your life. So stay clear of student loans.
October 12th, 2011 at 12:48 am
Took me 8yrs too.. on and off, full time then part time. But I graduated with a 3.8 and I’m studying for my GMAT’s and quickly approaching 30. Sure I regret not getting it done quicker – because I graduated in 2009 and left me in the middle of the worst economic depression in the job market. Had I graduated on time in 2005 – I would probably be getting paid more and had more options to choose from. But hey, you work with what hand your dealt and congrats to you and everyone else that completed their goal of higher education!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Be happy with that 3.8, my friend. God…I would have loved to have gotten just ONE TEST showing a 3.8!!
October 12th, 2011 at 12:51 am
I was a DJ, and a good one, but there’s not really any money in that unless you go all the way to the top. I don’t know where the top is, though. It’s not like Everest or something.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:44 pm
LOL…yeah, I’ve heard that over the years. It’s one of the reasons that I came to the realization that I did and stopped beating myself up over my choice.
October 12th, 2011 at 12:58 am
I wish I had cared more right out of highschool. I have since gotten my act together and I am headed back to school. I am only 24 so that is OK. I appreciate hearing your opinion on getting a “good” degree versus the one that you want, since I am currently struggling with that same decision, though without the added emphasis of my father. Get a graphic design degree and love it? Or get an IT degree and have far far more opportunities in the future.
Thanks for the post. It was good.
October 12th, 2011 at 1:01 am
just what I have in mind right at this very moment mind you. great post! i’m a pharmacist and almost done with my masters degree, i don’t know why i took grad school i love the career i’ve chosen but thinking that i’ll be stuck with this maybe lifetime makes me cringe.
i really wanted to become a writer ever since wish i could go back to that particular time and pursue that career instead. but hey, i think i’ll be enjoying being a pharmacist anyway. haha.
October 12th, 2011 at 1:14 am
What’s the point of doing everything on time? I am 25 with two MAs and still no job!
October 12th, 2011 at 1:17 am
DITTO! I have a similar story. Only instead of wasting 8 years at college I just wasted 8 years on the wrong dream. In high school we had the choice between three art classes, fashion, architecture or regular. I chose architecture and after 3 years I loved it. I went to a 4 year college which turned into 5 and then 1 year at grad school., If I could go back I would just start high school all over again, take those architecture classes but also do some damn sports or extracurricular to get me a scholarship (so I wouldn’t be in 200k debt). I would then, duel major in business and computer graphics. Now I’m stuck with a professional degree in architecture after 8 years, and guess what… I HATE Architecture!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:47 pm
Yikes!
Well…hopefully you’re at least making a living at it.
October 12th, 2011 at 2:14 am
Thank you for this entry!
so you won’t work at all in the whole of your life ^^
The career chose me! That’s the destiny. I always believe that there is a fate in what you do. After I certainly attended to University of Pedagogy, I had to study a completely different field, Commerce because of “accident”.
And now,… when graduated and started working in Biz, I realized that everything has reasons.
The most important thing is how to do it best and you have to be ambitious in what you decided to work
October 12th, 2011 at 2:40 am
Nice post!
I myself am full time employed (which means 40 hours of work a week) and go to evennig college, as I never managed to finish any school or degree except for primary school. I have to pay for my life myself, including my education. I did go to highschool and I did go to college before (paid by my parents), but I just didn’t do what had to be done.
Now I am in my last year and as I noticed that evening school fits me way better then all the education I have had before, and now that I know how important experience in life in general is, I don’t regret any single decision .
If you ask me, people should experience the world more before they have to choose what to do and to be. Give children who are begging to explore the chance to do so. Not all of them will want to, but to the few who do want to do so, remember that all the experience that they get from trying to set up their own enterprise, traveling the world in projects for NGO’s or working as a volunteer will eventually pay off. As long as they get support.
If you ask me, failure means not being able to get in peace with the decisions you made at “that point” in your life. There were good reasons why you made decisions in the past and there will be good reasons to do so in the future. Life changes, your goals and needs change, your interests change…
I myself am planning to go to university after I get my bachelors degree. That’s my choice now. And who knows, I even might actually do it, in the evening hours, when I close the door at the office, I go to school, learn and soak in all the interesting knowledge and ask myself questions about all the new information… This is the moment I am ready to learn, I was not ready for learning at school (!) when I was 18. Now I just hope that I will stay ready the rest of my life:).
.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Good for you!!! What a great story this is. Thanks for commenting.
And If you ask me, failure means not being able to get in peace with the decisions you made at “that point” in your life couldn’t be more true. It took me awhile to finally realize that, though.
October 12th, 2011 at 2:44 am
That does seem like a lot of time wasted…but, to be painfully cliche, if you hadn’t had the experiences you had during those years, you wouldn’t be who you are now, or in the same place.
OH GOD THAT WAS SO PAINFULLY CLICHE
I’m so sorry.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Y’know what? That was pretty frickin’ cliche. PAINFULLY so.
October 12th, 2011 at 2:56 am
I regret not really understanding why I went to college. Of course nobody forced me to go to college, but there was definitely a cultural stigma if one didn’t go, so I went because there was nothing else to do. I didn’t really realize it at the time but I really didn’t know myself very well, but that was something I brushed off at the time. I did very well my first two years taking premed classes. By the 3rd year I found out I just didn’t care anymore. I hated my classes and didn’t do well, not because I couldn’t but because I didn’t care. Once I started doing poorly in school, it became a downward spiral- I became more depressed because I felt like I was wasting my tuition money, my GPA would drop even more, get more depressed, etc. I needed a break. Partly because people pressured me, and partly because I was too scared to do otherwise, I stayed in college. I barely passed, my GPA dropped, and by the time I graduated, I wasn’t proud of myself.
That’s not the way to live life. One should live life mindfully, and work towards something to be proud of. I don’t want to live a life where I “barely passed”. When I lost my purpose, it all fell apart. I think that if I had gotten a job or volunteered after high school I would have appreciated my education more and worked harder.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Wow…reading those comments, I feel like you’ve nailed me and how I truly feel about life in general.
Sure I’m doing okay, but I’m constantly feeling like I’m “barely passing”.
Wow. I think I’m now a bit depressed.
October 12th, 2011 at 4:34 am
I’m currently in the situation where you were 20 years ago. Really good pep talk!
October 12th, 2011 at 4:55 am
I think education is always important. It always gives you skills and knowledge in different ways which sometimes we may even not recognize. No wonder why most of nations spend the most on education system reform. But even when you choose to study what you aren’t really passionate about, you still can learn something from that.
I had dropped my degree at the national university in Vietnam at 3rd year and started all over again in Finland at a university of applied science. Family thought it was a stupid idea and such a waste of time. But as Steve Jobs said, you can only see “the dots” backward not forward. What you get today is able to be used tomorrow. It’s just about how you make it work!
October 12th, 2011 at 11:46 am
“No wonder why most of nations spend the most on education system reform.”
How ironical that my country’s government is doing everything they can to spend less and less on education.
Actually, the only real reason why I might regret having been at university for so long is the sheer cost of it. It’s insane.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:55 pm
100% honest….I would go to school again in a heartbeat if I didn’t have so many financial concerns, not only for myself but for my kids.
You’re right…the cost of education is insane.
October 13th, 2011 at 3:00 am
I fortunately have the free education from Finland and the system is really good. I can also understand the burden of education cost. I think everybody on Earth deserves free education!
October 12th, 2011 at 5:47 am
bachelor degree in philippine would have been the equal of high school in UK.. i think i would have liked to have masters degree but just tooooooooo lazy to go for it.
October 12th, 2011 at 6:04 am
Great post! The one thing I would change is to have done a student exchange program for at least 6 months during university so I could feel how it was like to live overseas. But it all happens that way for a reason I think!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:57 pm
I’ve been fortunate enough to have traveled overseas on a couple of occasions. I would have LOVED to have been an exchange student. What a great idea.
October 12th, 2011 at 6:26 am
Great read. I wish I didn’t procrastinate as much, It’s not too late, but I could have started much earlier. Good luck with all else that comes! Hope you won’t have another reason to write an article like this in say another 8 years!
October 12th, 2011 at 7:03 am
Really interesting point raised there. Hmmmm. I took option A. I blazed my own trail – rebelling against my own deeply engrained working class family ethos (that at 16 you leave school and go work in a factory or at best become a secretary) . . . . . I became the ultimate black sheep. I had to do it though, such was my passion for theatre. Now. 20 years on from my graduation in my theatre degree – I regret not one moment. I have gone on to have the most amazing experiences in life – and my work now, I love. As with life in the Arts there are times of feast and times of famine. But that is the name of the game. I don’t think I would change anything – and I will be encouraging my little one – to follow her star.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:58 pm
You are very fortunate to have been able to live a life so fulfilling. Kudos to you, my friend.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:22 am
I am happy with what I got as a fresh graduate from graduate school in communication studies. However, the one thing I would like to change is that I should have had gained appropriate career and study counselling to help me decide what I could have done when I was fresh out of high school. If I had known what I wanted, I would have studied anthropology or history instead. Anyway, it is too late to turn back the clock to 10 years ago so I am currently lodging an application to go back to graduate school next year to study something to do with libraries and information studies.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:59 pm
That’s a key thing that I didn’t follow-up on, either. I really should have taken more initiative to get career counseling once I was in university. It would have really helped me in the years since.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:40 am
heading back off to my dream school come january- cannot wait.
October 12th, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Congrats!
October 12th, 2011 at 8:06 am
enlightening post!!! i am glad & thankful that i graduated college and that i have units in graduate studies… the only thing that stops me is fear of rejection. i dont apply to jobs not unless people are pushing me to! bwahihi… two things i know that are always right, confidence and willingness are not taught in school!! ^_^
http://travellersdiningdepot.wordpress.com/
October 12th, 2011 at 8:11 am
I dropped out of college a semester before graduation. I was studying Psychology, where all my professors were seriously messed up, was involved with a man who was dragging me down with his lack of inspiration for life and consequently when my own psychology caved in on me, ran home to recover and never tried to finish. Today, at almost 50, with two college aged sons of my own, both of whom are struggling with their choices (one better than the other), I can understand their sense of confusion about the future or the paths in front of them. I encourage them to take their time to choose.
I can’t really say that I regret that particular moment, we are always much wiser in hind sight, but I do think that had I been a man, my parents would have urged me to finish…what remains till today is that anything and everything I start, I do with as much gusto as I can possibly muster – and finish it.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:04 pm
It’s funny, isn’t it? Hindsight is 20/20…but I truly wonder how many adults are able to sit back and analyze/contemplate their life like everybody has been doing here in these comments?
Bloggers/blog readers are a different breed. Most of us look inward to know what to write about next.
Most people don’t do that, I don’t think. They just live life…oblivious to the change that can come from looking back.
Hindsight…it’s quite the education in itself.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:37 am
Haven’t quite gotten that far. But for uni I just chose a ton of courses that sounded interesting to me and we will see where that leads me in life.
October 12th, 2011 at 9:18 am
I wish that I worked during my first couple of years of university – I regret not working. An Arts degree without much experience amounts to very little even if it’s in the most prestigious university in the country.
I wish I had extended my university stay – though I stayed for six years. 4 to do an Arts/Teaching Bachelor degree and 2 years to complete a Masters in Publishing and Communications.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:05 pm
It’s nice to see someone who wanted to stay LONGER at university.
October 12th, 2011 at 9:18 am
I understand where you are coming from. School was not a priority for me when I was in college. I do wish I could go back myself and complete my degree sooner.
October 12th, 2011 at 9:21 am
I feel a future blog forming here since it took me 15 years to get a 4 year degree. As for the DJ thing, I was one for 18 months, and it gets very repetitive and boring if you aren’t that morning drive star. Even they get bored, too. I did graduate from high school with Mark of the famed Mark and Brian team of KLOS. When they were in Birmingham, AL, they were always so funny and they seemed to be having a blast!
October 12th, 2011 at 8:07 pm
The local DJ teams here appear to have fun when they’re on, too. I dunno…I guess it’s all what you make of the job.
I always said told myself that if I won the lottery, I’d take that broadcasting course and offer to be on the radio locally for free…that’s how badly I wanted to do it (lol).
October 12th, 2011 at 9:38 am
I’ve just finished a journalism degree at university. I too wish I had worked harder at school though. I’d love to do radio or print and currently work at a magazine. Do you have hospital radio or any community station you could get involved with when you have some spare time? Might give you the chance to live out the dream.
I loved acting but I was always told acting never gets you anywhere. I was actually really good at drama despite being really shy and often got picked for roles over the more OTT students. Looking back I wish I’d of giving it a go but now I’m looking to get involved in community theatre or something along those lines. I’m only 21 so I think if I’m going to give it a go now’s the time.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:11 pm
Only 21?? You’ve got a TON of time on your side!! Go and succeed…go and fail…go and try!!
Oh to be 21 again knowing what I know now…
October 12th, 2011 at 9:56 am
I have a friend with a similar story, although I think she had to pay for her own education. Now at 40 she finally finished her Bachelor’s Degree and says… I’m not afraid of committment, I was committed to my education for over 20 years.
October 12th, 2011 at 9:56 am
Great post.
It is 3 years on the 2 year plan for me. My parents gave me complete freedom to choose what I want to study (though I was confused what I really wanted to study). But I was disappointed, which costed me a year when they made me to go to the college of their choice but not mine. Being brought up in a small town, they were worried to send me to a residential college in a distant city and unfortunately, I could not understand their concerns as parents. When I could not complete the course in 2 years and was very depressed looking at friends going for higher studies, I remember all the support and encouragement my parents gave me not to get disheartened. It was a period of realization for me.
I learnt that whatever we are, is the result of choices we make and if we want to move forward it is in our hands to make things work our way or to adapt to things that we do not have control over. I dont regret to see where I am now; I do not try to imagine if I had been in any better position if I had gone to the college of my choice.
I have done masters in computer sciences but that was a decission made out of ignorance or under the influence of other people around me at that time. But If I can change something about my education, I would go back and study arts instead of computers and I would not mind going to the college of my parents’ choice
Congratulations for being on FP. Great post, took me back to old times….
October 12th, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Thanks! Much appreciated. And great comments!
October 12th, 2011 at 10:07 am
This is very interesting, not least because, on my blog right now, I’m running a series of guest posts by students about what they’d like to change about school. Today’s post is here:
http://siobhancurious.com/2011/10/12/lighten-up-about-grades/
but you might be particularly interested in this post, in which Aewl argues that if you can’t pay for university, you’re probably not ready to go:
http://siobhancurious.com/2011/10/11/if-you-cant-pay-for-college-dont-go/
October 12th, 2011 at 8:14 pm
I don’t know about that. As much as it costs to go to university, if you consider it an investment then the payoff of that investment is probably bigger and more guaranteed than anything you’d find on the stock market.
October 12th, 2011 at 10:13 am
Like I was supposed to, I went to college right after high school. I stayed there for two years before grander schemes took hold and, once those fell through, I joined the military. There I found the motivation to return to college and finish (well, start over) my degree, but by then I lacked the time. With the rotating schedules, deployments, eight hour shifts that were never just eight, and twelve hour shifts that became fourteen, the often heard joke in USAF Security Forces (Military Police, by another name) was that a person could be on the 10-year plan to an undergraduate degree. Once I left the military in 2002, I was out of excuses and returned to college.
The second time, college was cake; at least compared to the military. Not academically, of course; any test I took in the Air Force was multiple choice over information I had just seen. It was the mechanistic structure of the military that made college so easy. Try just one time to show up late for a formation. In college, I can show up late, leave early, and go home right after class? Cool!
It took me four years to get my Bachelors’ degree (if you don’t count the ten years before that). Then I got froggy and got my MBA (about three years). Friends keep trying to talk me into a doctorate, and that simply won’t happen.
Tony
http://tonylamb.wordpress.com
October 12th, 2011 at 10:38 am
CBD: I would have majored in a foreign language, in addition to the major I already got (mathematics). I wish I had been more focused too!
Anyways, I think perhaps it’s okay to think about a degree you would like to get or a new skill you would like to acquire and to do a few classes or nightclasses to get there! Do it!@
October 12th, 2011 at 8:16 pm
I’ve considered night classes, but I just don’t know what direction I’d want to take or how it would benefit me.
It’s not out of the question, though.
October 12th, 2011 at 10:58 am
I didn’t love school — University of Toronto (huge, impersonal, excellent teachers) — but I did finish in four years. I was fed up completely with their rigidity of thinking; when I was already writing for national publications by junior year and asked for credit for this, the chair of the department sniffed in horror: “We are not a technical school!” Whatever. The decision to publish another article — which was paying my way through school and creating a career for myself, or a paper on Beowulf? No contest.
Some people LOVE college. That experience, valuing classrooms and papers over real-world WORK in my desire and highly competitive field — left a sour taste in my mouth. I later studied interior design and loved it, both the classes and a very small, hands-on, supportive environment.
I still work as a journalist, which had been my goal since childhood. I always knew exactly what I wanted to do.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:20 pm
I would’ve written a blog post on that cheesy cartoon Beowulf movie that came out a couple of years ago…but there’s no way I could concentrate enough to read that book.
Same with Shakespeare. I just can’t do it. I’ve tried.
Kudos on being a journalist, though. It’s something I’d love to do today, but without a degree it’d be impossible to enter the field.
Thanks for the comments!
October 12th, 2011 at 11:30 am
[...] http://iusedtohavehair.com/2011/10/06/8-years-on-the-4-year-plan/ Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. [...]
October 12th, 2011 at 11:35 am
Very interesting post! but what about following our dreams???
October 12th, 2011 at 8:21 pm
I guess it becomes a case where you make new dreams to suit the life you’re living.
For right now, my dream is to take my kids to Disney…and getting myself out of debt enough in order to do it.
Sure, I’ve got other dreams I’d still love to fulfill, but I think priorities change as you get older…and so do the dreams, I guess.
October 12th, 2011 at 11:36 am
Wise words… but these are mistakes that you only know are mistakes after you’ve done them.
October 12th, 2011 at 11:43 am
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I clicked on your blog entry, but I knew I was interested, because “that sounds like me”… But in the end it doesn’t really. I am 7+ years after high school, and still in the middle of what should be a 5-year degree. Sometimes I feel weird. I see all those 21, 22-year-olds graduating their master’s program, and I have to admit that I haven’t even *started* writing my thesis… at 24. So, I’m on my way to being 3 to 4 years late.
Do I regret it? I can’t say that I do. Even though I am responsible for staying so long at school (I picked an impractical field for my undergrad, then had an interruption, like you, before I chose to change subjects and do my master’s, etc.), what can I say except that “life happened” throughout all these years? Granted, I could have worked harder. I could have made a bigger effort to go on studying *right after* I graduated instead of letting it all go for a while… But in the end, knowledge is just one part of what you’re supposed to learn at school. I think. The reason why it took me so long to be where I am now is that I did all those other things that I felt the need to do at the time, that I dealt with my problems, that I moved on, that I made friends, traveled, worked, wrote…
So, I don’t know. It’s easy to look back and say, “this dream was a waste of time pursuing, if only I’d known”. But I think the very fact that we can *say* that, means we’ve had an experience. Although I am seriously growing impatient with studying and long for a real, paying job, when I think of these 21-year-old graduates, I am not sure I envy them. I feel like I’ve seen so much more of the world than most of them, that I’ve had so many more experiences, so many more ambitions, so many more ideas… It wasn’t a waste of time. It is called “my life”.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:24 pm
Thank you for sharing your story. And no matter what regrets I may or may not have had in my life, like you I’d never consider my experiences a “waste of time”.
October 12th, 2011 at 11:46 am
This is a great post. Being a recent college graduate, this really took me back and made me think about my choices. Good work!
October 12th, 2011 at 11:52 am
Neither of my parents (both of which are doctors) never pushed me to go to college. So I did the job market for a while, got a wife, had a child, and lived within my modest salary for 8 years. Now I’m 32 and I am a fourth year senior, working on two degrees at once, with a great GPA and one more year to go. I’m glad that my parents didn’t push me into the college world early. I think the problem with most (not all mind you) of the kids that I see fresh out of high school is that they don’t care about learning because they don’t understand what college can do for their lives or about the real world.
At this point I wouldn’t say wait as long as I did, but I think that waiting a couple of years would be the best for everyone. I knew what I wanted and haven’t changed my majors since the beginning, the only reason it is going to take 5 years is because I need more hours than most for two degrees.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Wow…that’s quite inspiring, actually. Thanks for sharing (and best of luck in the future).
October 12th, 2011 at 11:55 am
It is so convenient to blame, and we mostly blame parents. We don’t blame our laziness, our sense of entitlement, our fear and our lack of passion.
The most important message a parent can give is to encourage you to make a living with whatever you love to do. The most healing thing that a parent can do is to encourage us to grow wings and let us know that they will be there for us to comfort us.
The most important thing that we can do for ourselves is to find what we love. Not by coincidence, but by paying attention.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:27 pm
I think if my parents (specifically, my father) had been more encouraging then maybe my resentment wouldn’t have lasted for so many years.
You’re absolutely right…we don’t put the blame where it needs to be; right in our own lap.
October 12th, 2011 at 11:56 am
I think you should have been a DJ. You just never know. But then again I always go for what I love doing, and it has made me the most money, and the happiest.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Well…I got to DJ while at university and also DJ in bars for almost a decade, so I guess I got to fulfill my dream that way.
I still get to “get out there” as I’ve DJ’d a couple of friends’ weddings and have MC’d work-related events (I have one in the morning, actually)…so I guess I still get to taste that dream now and then.
October 12th, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Reading your post (and the comments and your kindly replies) reminded me of what I have always found most interesting in people. I like people who question themselves, even if it hurts a little. I like people who review their history and consider its impact on their lives and those they love. I like people who don’t take themselves or the world too seriously. So thanks for sharing to candidly today or was it yesterday and reminding me once again that people are really wonderful, and complicated and funny and I like them best when know in some manner of speaking that they are lost (I mean that in a good way, of course). Perhaps the world has enough people lining up to travel in straight lines already. Me, I’ve definitely taken the more circuitous route, but I’m kinda getting to the point where I’m done blaming myself for that. I’ve got a kid too (aren’t kids the best!), and one thing I’ve been terrified to pass on to her is my god-forsaken self-doubt. She needs me to stop trying to fit into a world I simply cannot fit into. I will never be one of those girls who colors in the lines. Believe me, I tried, but oddly enough, living that way made me feel as safe as if I were walking a plank, or just a simple tight rope without a net. But not everyone who goes in a straight line feels that way, for them, the linear works. I accept that, and am so glad they can do it. They can run the PTAs and marathons and ski on Saturdays before running off to yoga then a book club where they drink wine and eat cheese and and and…ok, I need to go to therapy, bye for now and best of luck. Oh yeah, one last word, when i went to grad school at the late age of 37, I met the coolest people who were also getting their graduate degrees, and they were all in their 40s.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:31 pm
GREAT comments! Thank you so much.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to be able to look at myself and try to come up with ways to improve who I am as a person (I’ve blogged about how that all came about after hitting an emotional “rock bottom” a few years ago). And for whatever reason, blogging about it helps put things in perspective and sometimes even gives me the slap in the face I need.
Straight lines are boring, for sure.
October 12th, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I’m a sophomore in college and last night, I just finished working on my four year plan.It’s scary as hell because I look at it and suddenly, 2 and a half years doesn’t seem very long. Not that it was a long time to begin with, but still.
I think reading this post was a good thing for me. It ‘s definitely a reminder to work hard for what I want.
October 12th, 2011 at 8:32 pm
I’m glad I got to elicit a response from my writing, either good or bad.
Good luck on completing that degree.
October 12th, 2011 at 12:45 pm
I may be young, but I regret nothing of my education path.
It would be easy to, I’ve been going to community college (a two year program to transfer into four years) since 2006. But to me, that’s the absolute beauty to community colleges. When I was 17, I didn’t know what to do with my life, and my first couple of career considerations were busts. My unsureness followed me when I was 18, 19, and 20. But I have had a ton of life experiences, inside the classroom or on the campus, and they’ve all sort of lead me to what I want to do now, a track that fills me with excitement for my incoming life.
Ooh, topic inspired for my daily blog, thank you sir (:
October 12th, 2011 at 8:33 pm
No…thank YOU for visiting, reading, and commenting. I appreciate it.
October 12th, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Great article! I wish I’d taken a year off between high school and college in order to mature a little. Thank you for sharing — will follow!
October 12th, 2011 at 12:59 pm
This is totally similar with my recent post. I’m now in my fourth year in college and if there’s one thing I’d like to change, it would be that I would have exerted more effort in my studies. I am almost in the honor’s list fro graduation. Only almost because I spent more time with my friends than with my books. What a regret
October 12th, 2011 at 1:05 pm
I would have finished sooner as well.
October 12th, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Good post man, better late than never
October 12th, 2011 at 1:35 pm
I’m happy with the major I picked: psychology. Although it does not apply to my job at the moment (ok, maybe sometimes), I hope to go back for my masters in the future.
October 12th, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Look on the bright side; had you gotten your degree in four years you wouldn’t have experienced all those other places you had to go to where I’m sure you met people you are still close to.
We all have regrets; we are alive and we are humans! I had a girlfriend who said she didn’t have any regrets, that it was wrong to regret anything. To me this sounded like some sort of auto brain wash. Regret is part of acknowledging ones mistakes, and acknowledging them is the first step in learning from them. Some of these lessons can be used in the future, some can’t, but we can’t grow without them thats for sure.
October 13th, 2011 at 12:09 am
I unfortunately had to leave college in my second year when my mother took ill. I went to work to help my family and to look after younger siblings. It seemed that I just couldn’t get back to school as life kept getting in my way. Finally after 25 years I was able to return to school. I have been a wife and mother, a supervisor, a manager and now I’m a student again. While I somewhat miss what i might have been had i stayed in college long ago, I don’t regret who i am now.
October 13th, 2011 at 3:27 am
As horrible as it sounds, I’m actually glad that there is someone like me, in a way. I’m graduating soon and it took me 7 years to get my degree. For this past year and half I have been kicking myself in the arse for being stubborn and sticking to a major I was never passionate about. But what is life without mistakes right? All you really have to do is learn from them and move on. It sucks when you think about on it. At least you finished what you started and that itself is worth so much.
October 13th, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Yes I think I might have liked to do something creative, perhaps even in film, tv or the art world .
October 14th, 2011 at 2:48 pm
This is why I always encourage the youth coming out of high school and college to pick their own plan, live your own life
not for tourists:
http://www.cityarbiter.wordpress.com
October 15th, 2011 at 1:10 am
I’m glad there are some people out there who went through what I am currently going through. The only difference is coming up with the money to pay off my previous balance. I was supposed to have graduated by this past May but my lack of focus and cowardice kept me from maintaining a decent GPA. Thus having my University put me as a half time student and because of that once action, i lost some very important grants.
It’s been 2 years since i’ve been enrolled in my university and as long as i can pay back that freakin balance, they’re willing to let me back in with a clean slate. All that’s keeping me back now is a measly $3,000.
Soooo frustrating! If I only had the gall to step away from the people my freshman year of college, I would have been a graduate going into med school…
October 18th, 2011 at 2:01 am
I’m not sure if I would change anything… Things happened for the best, and if given another opportunity, I would have probably done the same thing… but I do have a few regrets… I really wish I had continued to learn music… I had the best opportunity as a child… and now I’m just to scared to even think about it…
October 18th, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Love this!
Keep up the good work and ill keep following you!!
-Chris Styles
http://www.idolizejournal.com
October 19th, 2011 at 6:01 pm
I started a master’s program at 51 years old, 25 years into my career. It was the best thing I ever did. If you can swing it – and the money, energy and time – it’s never too late.
October 19th, 2011 at 10:52 pm
My mother did not agree that I were studying for the entrance exam and sent me to work…
October 22nd, 2011 at 3:39 pm
wow. that’s great, it’s give me more inspiration about my future..
October 23rd, 2011 at 9:36 pm
I believe that time does its share. I also took a lot of time to get my degree, but feel happy how things worked out. My life would have been totally different from the way it is now, but it would have been meaningless and shallow.
Don’t have the dream job, don’t have anything I have ever expected or wished, but I do have a sense of living life in its full because of the choices I made.
October 25th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Don’t long for “the good old days.” This is not wise. Ecclesiastes 7:10 I am guilty of reflecting the same thing about getting my degree as well, but the reality is that on this path, I am still here. Another path and I may not be. So in reality we may think it is a horrible thing to have a 8 year degree that should have taken 4 years, but can we actually know?
http://www.rogertharpe.wordpress.com
October 25th, 2011 at 5:33 pm
It is actually pretty typical that students just drift on and begin to not like college. The pressure to finishing a degree in 4 years is quite overwhelming for some students. But then again, it is not about how long to get the degree, it’s the process and enjoying life while in it. That’s what most important. Many students don’t understand that. So, your situation is quite common…at least nowadays…not sure about back then.
http://kalafels.wordpress.com
October 26th, 2011 at 8:38 pm
According to parental directive, I went to an unaccredited religious college for a 4 year degree right after high school. It took several years after receiving that degree to realize that my goals were simply unattainable with that shoddy degree. I will graduate in May 2012 with a second undergraduate degree, this one accredited. I graduated from high school in 1997–(Jesus.); my degree will be 15 years in the making. (After which I’m proceeding directly to grad school, so essentially I’m spending my adult life in college.)
While I hate hate hate that I didn’t stand up to my parents at the tender age of 18, and I regret some missed opportunities, I kinda love where I am now, and try to focus on the fact that many of my advantages in school are a direct result of my dedication, my somewhat atypical experiences, and my enforced confrontation with the location of my education on my list of personal priorities.
October 27th, 2011 at 4:12 am
On the one hand I do regret squandering three years of my life on utter nonsense and not going for what I wanted sooner; but I don’t think I would change anything. That time was full of memories and learning experiences that had I may have missed out on had I gotten my act together sooner. I feel I’ve learned to appreciate and take school more seriously because it something I now want to do, not something I feel I have to appease my parents.
October 30th, 2011 at 4:35 pm
I graduated BSc Chemistry in Summer 2010. I took the subject for two reasons: 1) a great teacher who inspired me to and 2) it was my strongest A-Level grade. Whether or not I went to University was not a question in my family. The question was simply a choice of what I would study. So, Chemistry it was. I probably would have taken History had I achieved the grade I wanted in my AS-Levels or perhaps Architecture had I followed my Art teacher’s suggestion of carrying on Art to GCSE. But, having the importance of Science (I was capable and to some extent enjoyed it) drummed into me, I felt it unworthy of the extra work seeing as I was already taking a “Double Award Science.” So there is regret number one, abandoning something I enjoyed focusing on what was most ‘useful.’
I am grateful to my education for providing the opportunity to engage with people from various backgrounds. I have learnt the most from the people I have met. I am grateful that it has enabled me to distinguish between a lecturer and a teacher, and to always seek out the latter. A lesson best learnt early in life. I am grateful for it highlighting that Pareto’s Law is in fact correct, that 20% of your effort yields 80% of your results. A lesson I learnt the hard way. I am grateful to my education for teaching me the importance of being honest with myself about my progress and happiness. I am grateful for the lesson on the necessity to isolate and damage problems before they damage you. I am grateful for it emphasising the necessity in building firm foundations in whatever you choose to study or project you wish to undertake. I am happy it has allowed me to distinguish the difference between what is considered good from what is good and right, by my standards and no one else’s. However, I am sure these are lessons I would have learnt irrespective of what discipline I took.
I am unhappy about the fact that the older I got and the further through education I progressed, the scope for creativity declined. I am frustrated that education breeds a culture where people equate their self worth to a grade. Thereby resulting in eating disorders and at worst, death. I am disappointed that the firms exposed to students at the Careers fair are the ones that can afford the space. Although I went to a University that is been labelled the “Oxbridge reject University” I am somewhat disturbed to have ever heard the phrase, “the one who memorises the mark scheme is the one that gets to Cambridge.” Is that what education is about? I am disturbed that some people are able to buy their dissertation or their entire degree. But then again, when you are simply a number on a system how are ‘educators’ meant to be any the wiser. Above all, I am dissatisfied that the British education system has failed to cultivate direction, self-awareness, ambition or passion within many of contemporaries.
So would I have taken something different? No, for I feel that no other discipline would have made what I learnt so profound. Am I happy with the education I received? In part yes, but there is undoubtedly plenty of room for improvement.
http://exposuretoinspiration.wordpress.com/
November 1st, 2011 at 2:47 pm
I think you shaved your hair… as opposed to the impression that you’ve lost your hair…
anyway back to your blog post. Personally I did my degree out of my interest. Well actually it was not my first choice. My first choice of study would be architecture, but I realised that doing a 5-6 year degree was probably not realistic because I wanted to return home to work in Singapore where there is not exactly a lot of opportunities for architecture grads. But I picked a next best which I still enjoy studying a lot and that is product design. We only live once. But we need to be level headed as well about prospects and livlihood. Being practical itself helps sustain the deam that you want to realise too.
November 2nd, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Oh I freely admit to shaving my head on a daily basis. The look is by choice, not by necessity.
November 3rd, 2011 at 5:33 am
so i was right. Your hair wasn’t lost naturally. It was shaven by choice.
Anyway keep cool.
November 1st, 2011 at 11:55 pm
Great post! At least you did end up finishing in the end. That is all that matters
November 2nd, 2011 at 6:04 pm
That’s what SHE said. Heh..
November 2nd, 2011 at 11:02 am
“So what about you?” –> i must say i definitely have the things i regret, the things i wish i didn’t do, and things i wish i did. There are so many that i find it hard to choose which one i should change if i got the chance like you said. Like when i had a fight with my ‘typing’ teacher (seriously, there was this course back then in my school), in front of my class, i yelled at him, “what’s the point of learning this, this’s useless.” As a child, back then i didn’t realize how those words could hurt him. I wish i could go back to that time and shut my own mouth. And there’re also times when i didn’t pay attention to my computer teacher’s explanations about microsoft excel and stuffs, which made me have to learn it by myself (and I find it kinda hard without teacher). Okay, i think i’ll stop there about my school.
For the next questions, “Are you happy with the education you received? Would you have liked to take a different field of study? Would you have liked to go at all?”
Here, it’s kinda complicated for me. I think i’ve taken the wrong faculty. I have just been graduated on the 30th of October from the Faculty Of Communication majoring Advertising. Now, I’m struggling to find a job in the advertising field. Most of my friends have gotten the job in the marketing or sales field, or taking management trainee in banking companies. Well, i could have just got the same job, but I think that’s not for me, i don’t like doing job that requires me to be very formal (if you know what I mean).
And when i said i’m struggling, i’m talking about how hard it is to find a suitable job in the advertising world. Honestly, my faculty didn’t give much knowledge about advertising world, though i’m majoring in advertising, most of the stuffs i was taught about are journalisms and public relations matters, so… now, i have to learn stuffs like copywriting, designing, or else by myself. Here, I wish i went to different college which will really teach me about advertising. But, i can’t say that i am not happy with the education i received, actually (not to brag) i am the best graduate in my faculty, it makes my parents proud, and of course i am happy about it.
And, yes, i would like to take a different field of study, i have always love to learn about psychology or design, i think those area suit me better. But (again), after all of the experiences, friendships, hardness i’ve gone through, the problems i took care, the mistakes i made, and all of the stuffs happened in my college day, which made me who I am right now, seriously, i don’t think i want to lose them.
Btw, sorry if my English is not that good. I’m from Indonesia and I learn English by myself (too), and still learning.
November 2nd, 2011 at 6:07 pm
You’ve done a great job with your English. I really appreciate the comments, too. Thanks!