I’ve been thinking about my blog recently…about why I started it to begin with and where I wanted it to go and what I wanted it to be. These thoughts have caused me to wonder whether or not I even need a blog anymore.
I know…crazy talk, right? I mean, I brought this up when talking to Sunshine last night and she thought I was nuts for thinking that way. I’m a writer, after all…it’s what I do and apparently do fairly well.
See, I’ve always wanted attention. I was a show-off in school and often got detention for acting up in class. As I got older, I took on jobs that would always have me being in the public eye (waiter, club DJ, retail salesman). Heck…just recently I was an MC for a work-recognition function (for the second time). Writing is an extension of that craving of attention.
When I started a blog about a year-and-a-half ago, it was more for self-therapy than anything else. Once I moved everything over to WordPress this past January, my goal was to slowly develop and cultivate an online audience and build upon that…again, for attention purposes. I wanted to be a writer and I just wanted people to read my work.
In fact, I’ve actually been writing for a few years now. My writing was (…gulp…wait for it…) for a pro-wrestling website. I had actually built-up a pretty good following on this website, too. In fact, my weekly column built enough of a following that I was also doing audio shows once a week for a paid site. Yes…people were actually paying to hear me talk about wrestling. Weird, eh?
Anyhoo…that part of my “online life” ended back in February because I had found a new outlet; a new form of creative expression. But now? Now I’m at the point where I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. And I know that it sounds melodramatic to say, but after a week where I’ve been spending my spare time trying to come up with things to talk about I’m actually struggling for a reason to write.
Am I here to entertain others? Am I here to talk about my awesome kids? Am I here to discuss intimate details of my love life?
Adding to that is my newfound disinterest in some of the very blogs that got me interested in blogging to begin with. I mean, some of the blogs that I’ve followed for a year now seem to have lost sight of their original direction…or the direction I thought they were going in, anyway. Some of these blogs just seem more “preachy” now…or in some cases they blatantly go for miscellaneous web hits simply by discussing a hot topic. I know…I’m certainly guilty of doing that very thing myself from time to time (although for the record, I love reviewing ‘Survivor’ because I love the show). So as these blogs interest me less and less, I’ve found less and less interest in writing my own blog as of late.
Of course, I could just be talking out of my ass. I mean, I started two more blog posts tonight before finally settling on this one (they’re unfinished…but still). Maybe I’ll just be like Jim or Nicole and simply write whenever I feel like writing instead of feeling like I need to write on a more consistent basis. Maybe I’ll end up getting a creative spark again within the next few days. Maybe I’ll write something again tomorrow and ignore this post entirely.
Bah. I’m just rambling…
October 8th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Follow your heart.
You don’t owe blogland anything.
I have enjoyed your blog but think you should do what is best for YOU and your lifestyle.
There is nothing wrong with blogging or stopping or rarely posting.
We all have to remember that years ago we never had these public diaries…..back then we would have been mortified at the thought of sharing a personal diary with the public world.
Times have really changed….sometimes I do wonder if the change is not always for the better of humankind….
I miss simplicity in life.
October 8th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I struggle with this too. My blog is my own personal journal of my thoughts… be it sexual or spiritual or fearful ramblings… Sometimes I write about my kids… sometimes about music…
Its MINE.
And yes, sometimes I wonder what I should write about to please my readers. That’s the part that sucks. I have to remind myself that it is a “quest for T” and not a “quest for who other people want T to be”.
Then yesterday I saw this and I was reminded of the joys of blogging. The reason it has been so much fun for me.
Perhaps you aren’t enjoying those blogs anymore because you can no longer relate. Perhaps you don’t need the “attention” anymore because you’re finding it elsewhere.
Its all you, CBG, to decide whether you find a new area of the blogosphere that fits or to leave it altogether.
We’ll still love you either way.
October 8th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
If it helps at all I tell myself everyday that I need to write on a more consistent basis.
I just feel like I have nothing interesting to talk about, and when I do I feel like I don’t have the time to do it.
But I still read ALL of YOUR posts lol.
I’m hoping that after the move is complete and I’m more settled into this semester’s routine I’ll have more time/things to write about.
Part of the problem though, like you, is that some days I’m not sure what my whole blogging point is anymore..
October 8th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
I’ve always promised myself one thing about my blog, and I’ve stayed true. The day, and I do mean THE day, it becomes not fun? I’m out. Done.
So far, I’ve had more fun with my blog than I have anything in a long time, and I’ve made some amazing friendships. Whatever you decide to do, do it for you CBG.
*Hugs*
October 8th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
You have to do what you have to do.
October 9th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I know how you feel. I get inspired to do something or other, cane it to the point of metaphorical exhaustion and then get bored with it as quick as I started.
That’s why I don’t have a blog like this one. After a couple of weeks, I’d never update the bloomin’ thing!
October 9th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
I go through this ‘feeling’ a lot too. The whole point of starting my blog was to write about things I dealt with as a single work at home mom. I’ve been totally real about everything in my life and in fact a few times stopped writing because some people emailed telling me I was being too real about things. Then I was like WTF the whole point of a PERSONAL blog was to do exactly that – be personal!
But if you aren’t having fun and feel like you have to do it then I say give it a rest for awhile. Maybe you just need to take some time away from it for awhile and then you’ll feel like doing it again.
October 10th, 2009 at 11:23 am
The way I’ve been blogging lately is definitely different than in the past. I can remember feeling GUILTY if I didn’t post every day and then more and more often I would end up going DAYS at a time without posting ! (I know – gasp!) Now, that happens all the time and I don’t feel guilty – it’s just life. I also don’t read and comment as much but then I do find myself missing it.
I think, like maybe you are right now – I’m trying to find a balance of how to fit it in to my rapidly and ever-changing life. Ya gotta do whatever feels right, dude!
October 12th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I just had a similar blog-crisis of my own. It’s funny, isn’t it. We start out basically writing in a vacuum with no one reading at all and then later we aren’t sure why we’re even doing it. I have at least 6 unfinished posts mocking me from my “drafts” folder. Hope you get your mojo back!