Will it really make you go blind?

Okay, this is totally unlike what I would normally post, so if you’re looking for your normal dose of G-rated Bald Guy, best be going here or here.  

Just sayin’.

~~~~~~~~~~

I got the following tweet yesterday:

5-3-2009

Of course, the entire conversation that we had doesn’t need to be re-counted here (trust me…those who read our flirtateous tweets needed a cigarette and a cold shower when they were done), but needless to say that this tweet helped me realize something that had been in the back of my mind for a few weeks now…

I am one horny bastard.

Crude…but true.  And you know what?  I don’t think I was nearly as bad when I was in “my prime” as I am now.  It’s ridiculous.  I truly feel like I’m in “my prime” right now at age 36.

Vanilla ice creamMy marriage started off like any normal relationship.  We were having sex on a regular basis…connecting and getting into “grooves” with each other. The problem, though, is that our “groove” was really our “rut”.

If our sex life could have been an ice cream, to have called it vanilla would have been a tremendous over-statement and, quite frankly, an insult to vanilla ice cream.

Get this statistic about me: I went just over three years from the night my son was conceived to the next time I was intimate with a woman.

THREE YEARS.

Needless to say, that (pretty darned attractive) woman got a bit more than she expected from me on that particular night.  

I then went another six+ months before meeting up with somebody very special.  We dated for a few months and while things didn’t work out in the end, our physical relationship was absolutely incredible.

IN-CRE-DI-BLE.

And while I think having a long-distance relationship probably pushed things along in that direction, we were absolutely insatiable.  

Three times a day.  Five times a day.  We were pleasing each other like no other person had done in our lives before.  It was like a sexual awakening for the both of us.

MasturbationUnfortunately, things weren’t meant to be and we broke up in January.  

And it’s been a long four months since.

So when T emailed me and asked if I was interested in doing some type of “mutual post” based on this glorious celebratoin in the of May, I jumped at the opportunity.  

I’m not sure when we’ll have our mutual post…I’m not really sure of what the exact topic of conversation will be…heck, I’m not even sure how we’ll do our research…

Ugh…I can’t believe I just went there.

This could be a very fun month.

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14 responses to “Will it really make you go blind?

  • Grounding Myself « hip single mama

    [...] Canadian Bald Guy is making prudes cringe. [...]

  • T

    I’m looking forward to it. And the research part… will be ab-so-lute-ly the best part of all.
    :)

  • wendy

    Found you over at Blockthoughts – The Canadian Bald Guy intrigued me as I AM A CANUK!! (but not bald)
    hope you can find some—ah, —-relief.

  • Amira

    * blink blink *

    * silence *

    I am somewhat stunned into silence. Not sure why…perhaps because…? Nope. I do not know why.

    I miss all the good stuff by not being on Twitter, don’t I? *Sigh*

    Anyway, good post there, CBG. Those long months…yeah, hate those. To be blunt, I do not do well with them. And as a woman in MY prime in my 30’s? Let me just say this: I actually have empathy for the first time for boys in their teen’s and early 20’s. Nuff said.

    And I had a similar experience with my first boyfriend after my marriage. Chemistry was explosive. Loved it. Made up for a lot of years of blandness. ;)

  • Sheila

    Bwahahhaahahahaha … you two are hilarious.

    It’s been about 16 months for me and I really wonder if I’ll ever have sex again. It seems hopeless. We’re all a bunch of horny single parents!

  • Jim Everson (Depot Dad)

    Just wanted to let everyone know that whatever you are feeling in your thirties, it gets even more intense in your forties. Just wanted to give you a warning.

    And as to the question of whether it will make you go blind? I really don’t care. I’ll still know where it is. ; )

  • SingleParentDad

    Mutual masturbation on the internet, who’d have thought it? ;-)

  • QTMama

    I love my thirties because I’ve become 100% more sexually aware than any other time in my life.

    I hate my thirties because I’ve become 100% more sexually aware than any other time in my life.

    Bah

  • D

    Ha ha Ha. I cant stop laughing =) I laugh when I am embarrassed *blushing
    I guess I picked a good month to have a Passion party…
    Hope your research is all you hope it will be. Can’t wait to read the results.

    So does this mean it gets worse when I turn thirty and then even more when I’m in my forties? Oh No!

  • dadshouse

    Going without sex is maybe the hardest part of single parenting for me. And so, I tend to find ways that I don’t have to be without sex.

  • melanie

    I remember in junior high that I couldn’t even SAY the word masturbate without getting all kinds of embarrassed. This should be an interesting month.

  • Canadian Bald Guy

    WOW…you guys are awesome today!!

    Hip Single Mama — I love your quote. I wouldn’t think that “prudes” read my blog, but maybe they do. I dunno…I just gotta be me!

    T — Heh…we’ll talk later. wink wink nudge nudge

    Wendy — Hopefully today’s subject matter didn’t chase you away after your first visit…lol.

    Amira — I’m really wondering just what in the heck that silent reaction really means. Hmmm….

    Sheila — Sixteen months? Been there done that. Hell…I went that long WHILE MARRIED!!

    Jim — Nice…as if heading to my 40’s wasn’t scary enough, knowing if I’m alone it’s REALLY gonna suck. Jeesh.

    Single Parent Dad — Technically, you’re to blame for all of this. T was responding to your tweet and then the whole “Princess Leia costume” thing and then this. So yeah…it’s all on you, my man.

    QTMama — HA!! Best comment of the bunch, my dear. It’s funny cause it’s true.

    D — Y’know, I’ve always wanted to go to one of those parties…either sitting in the background watching the women have one or being part of a couples one. Hope yours goes over well.

    dadshouse — LOL…you’re the man.

    melanie — The word “masturbation” has totally changed over the years. It’s something to not be embarrassed about anymore. I actually think it’s primarily because of AIDS and STD’s and their prominence in the late 80’s. People became more afraid to be promiscuous and thus turned to themselves to get through the “hard” times (heh).

    Of course, I may be waaaay off…but in an age where a nipple or curse on television can get you fined hundreds of thousands of dollars, it’s interesting how sex just isn’t so “behind closed doors” anymore to most people.

  • single mom seeking

    Just talked to “T” on the phone and she asked if I’d read your post yet… uh, uh, deep breath.

    Although I’m one of those folks who happened to see your Tweets going back and forth, and had a feeling that you were two kindred spirits. That “T” will inspire anyone… oh, I won’t go there.

    Can’t wait for the co-posting!

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