So today is Day One.
It’s weird to be starting this process all over again, especially after the success that I had last year. But I was in a bad way near the end of last year and running or being healthy simply wasn’t in the cards for me. I needed to get my mind right before getting my body right.
After four months on anti-depressants, I can honestly say that I feel as though a fog was lifted for me. All of the times that I tried to move forward and failed were always for different reasons. I was never happy with my physical condition and used that self-hatred to motivate me to get healthier. Depression would always creep in the way and my self-destructive tendencies would always leave me short of my ultimate goals.
I don’t feel like that right now. I’m actually not hating what I see in the mirror. I realize I’m overweight, but I don’t hate what I wear every day. I’m not letting my physical condition dictate how I’m going to feel that day. I’m making that choice on my own regardless of what the scale says.
And in the interest of full disclosure, my weight this morning was 240.8lbs. That’s my starting weight as I begin this journey to being the “me” that I’m finally ready to become. And yes…that’s the heaviest I can recall ever being.
I purchased a FitBit on Friday because (1) my Garmin strap broke and I didn’t feel like dishing out $$ for a new one, (2) my friends are already using FitBits. I like that FitBit also synchronizes with my Map My Run app, my My Fitness Pal app, and my C25K app. I plan on combining everything to ensure I’m giving myself the best opportunity I can to lead a healthier life.
The ultimate goal is to lose weight, it’s true. But my goal for 2015 is to run a half-marathon. Now, whether or not that means I walk 15 km and run/jog 7 km is irrelevant. I want to do a half-marathon and complete it on my own. I want to do this for me. I want Sunshine at the finish line waiting for me cheering me on. I want to know that I’m not the last person crossing that finish line. And eventually, I want to be able to have a good enough time that I could qualify for one of the many Disney Half-Marathon events that they hold (definitely the ultimate running goal for me).
So those are my goals. They’re set, they’re realistic, and they’re achievable with some work and effort on my part. I may never, ever see my abs again (did I ever have them?), but I’m ready to become a better ‘me’.
I’ve done the mental part. Now it’s time to tackle the physical part. That started this morning.
Day One is down and in th ebooks. Let’s do this!